| Ron Anish says Don't Drink!!! That
is the question. Let me preface my argument for "Not to Drink" with my typical
draft day routine. I'll show up a bit early for the draft at my friend's house to have a
cold one and discuss our thoughts as to what is about to happen in the draft. I may have
one or two prior to the draft, but once the draft starts I either slow down to a snail's
pace or make the switch to, dare I say, a non-alcoholic beverage. Now the switch may not
be easy if your friends are anything like mine who find every opportunity to take a shot
at someone and trying to make "the switch" leaves you WIDE open for a few digs.
Then after the draft, I'll kick back with the boys with the cooler still semi-full for a
little post-draft assessment. So if you absolutely, positively, cannot even think about
drafting without having a few cold ones, try and follow a similar approach and you'll be
glad you did. Here's a true story which helped me change my draft day habits from "To
Drink" to "Not to Drink" (much) as well as some additional reasons to
remain on the sober side of things. The names have been removed to protect the
intoxicated...er...innocent.
A few years ago the owners started piling into the house where we had planned the
draft. Some early, some right on time, and one owner in particular, strolled in with a bit
of a glow. He had mentioned he just got back from golfing. Of course by golfing he meant
drinking and occasionally trying to hit a ball. Most of us chuckled knowing this draft day
was going to be very interesting for him. Needless to say by round 5, he was making
comments like," I already hate my team", and "What the hell is going on
here?", and "Is anyone else having trouble keeping up with the picks?". The
following day I brought a copy of the rosters into work, showed it to a couple co-workers
and asked, "Can you guys guess which owner went "golfing" the morning
before the draft?" Both guys gave the rosters a once-over and picked out the golfer's
squad from the ten listed with ease. Suffice it to say, his hangover the following day
wasn't the only awful thing he had to deal with.
Here are some more reasons to support my argument of "Not to Drink":
1) Fred Taylor: Every year someone drafts this guy and most times that owner gets
burned. Typically, those owners who have been indulging in "Liquid Courage" are
more apt to take chances and gamble on high risk players like Taylor. Sometimes this
gamble pays off, but for the most part it just gives the tipsy owner another reason to
complain about his thought process the following day.
2) Rookies: Following the same premise of the Fred Taylor rationale, rookies are always
enticing on draft day due to their nature of not knowing how high the ceiling is for a
young guy. Could William Green be this year's Tomlinson or is he this year's Ron Dayne?
With a few drinks under your belt, you tend to find the "best case scenario" for
most players since you're feeling good and you start thinking, "why shouldn't
so-and-so succeed in the NFL like he did in college?" Most rookies struggle their
first season (or two) and most owners that take rookies end up dropping them halfway
through the season.
3) Bye weeks: This can happen to anyone: drunk or sober. You're half way through your
draft and you look down at your WRs and say to yourself, "I'm loaded this year with
WRs. Rod Smith, Joe Horn and Johnnie Morton should whoop up on any other team!". Then
you notice all three are on the same bye week and your emotions quickly change from glee
to disgust. "How could I MAKE that mistake?!?", you ask yourself. I've noticed
over the years that this bye week dilemma is more apt to happen to those owners who are
having a few wobbly-pops than those that are thinking with a clear mind.
4) Roll Call: Let me paint a picture: It's round 13, the draft is winding down to
backups and things are moving along pretty quickly. One owner (there's always at least
one) looks at his roster and realizes he hasn't taken a kicker yet. The problem is more
than half the teams have already selected a kicker and he's been too busy tossing back
brews like his stomach was on fire that he failed to cross any kickers off his cheat
sheet. So the Roll Call begins:
Owner 1: "Mike Vanderjagt"
Group: "He was gone six rounds ago".
Owner 1: "Jason Elam"
Group: "Long gone".
Owner 1: "Jeff Wilkins"
Group: "He was gone before it got dark!!".
And so on. With every name called out, the group's response gets louder and more
irritated. Finally, he'll get a kicker whether it's by process of elimination or someone
says, "Jay Feely is still out there. Just take him and move on!". You get the
point. Try not to be "that guy" at your draft.
So in closing, my bottom line is nothing good comes from the cuckoo juice. Remember,
the season is four months long and this one very important night plays a major role in how
you will or won't enjoy your fantasy season. Try and keep that in mind before you reach
for that next Silver Bullet. There's always time after the draft to hang around, have some
refreshments and play the "What the hell was he thinking with that Pick" game
which is always a crowd-pleaser!
Doug Coutts says Drink!!!
First let me say this: I don't get out very much anymore. That's just the way it is.
I'm not sure I'm wiser, but I'm older, and there are many other demands of my time now.
The days of waiting for Lou to open the doors and let us into the Muddy Charles Pub on the
campus of M.I.T. every Thursday at 4pm are long gone. That's ok. Times change, this for
the better.
That said, there are a couple of days out of the 365 that are sacred, and one of them
is the day of our fantasy football draft. And by saying sacred, that means good old suds.
Other league owners now know better than to even say hello or try to strike up a
conversation with me until I've heard the classic "Crrrffffttt" of the bottle
opener. What a sweet sound. Sure, I get to hear it once and a while at the homestead, but
it sounds that much better knowing I'm surrounded by eleven other football fantatics. And
does anything go better with beer than the piles of buffalo wings and stacks of meat
lovers' pizzas that will also be consumed that evening? I think not.
Beer (or some other reasonable facsimile) is an absolute MUST on draft day. The barley
and hops mixture, if done correctly, not only will enhance your experience at the draft,
but can only help your team out. While you certainly want to have your wits about you in
the early rounds, as it's well documented that this is where you need to establish the
cornerstones of your team. However, late in the draft you might need a little
"looseness" to get you over the hump and help you out in making that
"outrageous flyer" pick. There's no sense haggling with yourself at that point
anyways, as long as you have filled out your position requirements, you just need to call
out names to fill out your roster. May as well have the beer be talking at that point in
time. If nothing else, you won't hemm and haww over who you'll pick, you see a name (if
you can see at that point), and just call it out. So what if the guy's retired or out for
the season, that'd just make it easy for you in free agency week one, someone to drop.
And this doesn't even touch upon the vocalizing you can do along the way in the draft.
After knocking back a few, you can really shake up the other owners by mercilessly riling
them over just about anything. I believe my colleague Bill Leonard wrote on article that
can help you out in this area, keep that handy! Hey, every town has a drunk, why can't a
fantasy football draft, right? Anything you can do to get your fellow owners thinking more
about you than their cheatsheets is a victory. There will be someone that is on a short
leash and needs the draft to get over early, so he's not drinking. By mid-draft, this guy
is devoting nearly 100% of his concentration in trying to get you back in line, ha ha ha,
he's done!
Having said all that, washing down the cold one's at the draft is an acquired skill.
Here are a few suggestions and rules that I've put together over the years:
1) Don't get to the draft too early. You're going to be walking a fine line so if
you're like me and can't say no when someone gets up to the cooler and offers to fetch you
a cold one, don't be there. My recommended time of arrival is no more than an hour before
the draft starts. You don't want to be tossing out flyers and blurring your vision in the
first four rounds.
2) Have a sustenance plan. My draft starts at 7pm, so draft day I make sure I eat a
regular sized lunch, knowing that we'll be eating pizza before the draft begins. Knocking
down 3/4 of a pie is a requirement of mine before the draft begins (it used to be a full
pie in my younger days, alas, now I must settle for 3/4). You don't want to be caught with
an empty stomach, not a good combination with the beer binging that is ahead.
3) Set a pace. You want to set a strong pace early on in the evening (say, three an
hour), but you should have a scale-back plan in effect. In other words, three brews in
each of the first two hours, then cut it back to two brews per hour for the next two, then
back to one brew the next two hours, etc. At any point, if you feel the beer is starting
to flow too quickly, mix in a round of soda or water - but always have at least an empty
bottle near you to give the impression of drinking, another way to throw off your fellow
owners, they'll think you're "out of it" whether you are or not!
4) Have an evacuation plan. It goes without saying that after a full night of beer, you
shouldn't be driving. Set up a designated driver, can another owner give you a ride (this
is a bonus, since he'll be worrying about getting you home during the draft!). If that's
not possible, you'll either have to scale back the drinking VERY early, or better yet,
fire up some other activity when the draft is over (darts, cards, playstation2, etc, etc).
Or just stay over. No sense wasting all your draft preparation by doing something foolish
and endnagering others on your way home.
Be safe - but plan ahead, you gotta fire back some brews at the draft. Oh and an
unwritten rule I have, since I don't get out much, I always hold a "mock draft"
a week or so before the actual draft. No, not to see where the players will be picked, but
to have a practice run with my buddy Sam Adams. Happy drafting!! |
