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As the Football Turns - Week 1

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Jerry Jones Has the Brain of a 40-year Old.

According to Jerry Jones, while on a routine doctor's visit a doctor who had viewed the CT scan of his brain told him that he has the brain of a 40-year old man. Afterwards, he and Jason Garrett were spotting dining at a local Dallas eatery. Click here for the exclusive video.

 

What do Coca-Cola, Kentucky Fried Chicken, McDonalds and Texas A&M all have in common?

All of them are good at keeping secrets.

Coca-Cola has kept secret the ingredients to Coke since 1886.

KFC has its seven herbs and spices.

McDonalds has its secret sauce.

And Texas A&M has its reasons for suspending Johnny Manziel for only one-half a game to start the season for apparently signing thousands of autographs while not taking any money. For those of you reveling in the demise of Tim Tebow, here comes Johnny Manziel.

 

Call off the APB, we've located Brandon Marshall.

Back in April, 2010, Brandon Marshall was traded from the Broncos to the Dolphins for two 2nd-round draft picks. That was quite a deal for Miami as they were acquiring a wide receiver how was coming off his third consecutive 100-plus catch season. There's one coaching staff, albeit one led by Josh McDaniels, that didn't think Marshall was worth the trouble.

Then less than two years later, the Bears were able to acquire Marshall for two 3rd-round picks. Make that two coaching staffs who felt that their team was better off with lesser-talented wide receivers. Since being acquired by the Bears in March of 2012, Bears fans have been wondering who is this model citizen and beast of a wide receiver that put up a line of 118/1,508/11, all career highs.

They can stop wondering, it's Brandon Marshall. No dental records were needed in this identification as Marshall is grumbling about his role in Marc Trestman's new offense while blaming the Bears for not being more sensitive/ aware of the condition of his surgically repaired hip. He also needed a so-called, pre-arranged four-day excused absence during which he was supposedly getting his hip examined. Let's see what happens when Marshall doesn't come close to the 194 targets that he had in 2012.

 

Rex Ryan Gives Exclusive Interview.

While Rex mocked the press after the Jets' third preseason game he couldn't elude this one cameraman who caught Rex talking to his troops after the game. Click here to see this exclusive video.

Speaking of Rex Ryan, maybe the guys over at the new A&E TV show, Bad Ink, can help Rex morph that tattoo of his wife wearing only a green jersey with Mark Sanchez's No. 6 on it into a No. 7 for Geno Smith? Or possibly  to a No. 5, as this will be Ryan's fifth season with the Jets and most likely his last.

 

HELP WANTED: 24 Knucklehead NFL wide receivers in the Cleveland area.

While both Greg Little and Josh Gordon have plead not-guilty to their most recent moving violations, we sincerely hope that they plead out as it would be quite a daunting task to fill two juries consisting of their peers.

Speaking of the Browns, apparently Rob Chudzinski has played fantasy football in the past as the Browns are currently without a placekicker as they decided to cut both Shayne Graham and Brandon Bogotay in order to keep an extra position player. Hey Chud, I won an experts dynasty league last year and am currently available to help with your 2014 rookie draft.

 

Only in America can Matt Millen still get paid for his football opinion.

After drafting Joey Harrington, Charles Rogers, Roy Williams and Mike Williams in consecutive drafts for the Detroit Lions between 2002 and 2005, he's still drawing a paycheck to give his opinion on college players. This is a family site, but somewhere on his body Millen must be carrying a horseshoe.

 

According to Facts Guide, 70% of people enjoy old songs because of the memories they've attached to them.

Think about that the next time you see someone singing along to Billy Idol's 'Dancing with Myself.'

That’s it for Week 1. Thanks for reading and be safe until we meet again.

Jim Bukowski a Senior Staff Writer/Content Manager for FantasySharks.com and is a member of the Fantasy Sports Writers Association. He can be reached at bukowski@fantasysharks.com .