As much as I'm getting tired of Monday Night Football's opening tune (still with Hammerin Hank), how about Gee Dubbs making the call on opening night, "Are you ready for some football?" I wonder which team he had money on...

Speaking of the Thursday opener, I know many love it, but I just can't get into it. And no, it's not because I'm bitter about it throwing off our fantasy football draft. Just doesn't belong there unless I'm eating a big turkey, ya know?

I've said it before and I'll say it again: When will kickers STOP TRYING TO MAKE TACKLES!?!?!

How come it always works out that the one team that I care about NEVER catches a break? You know the routine, third highest score in the league but you still lose...your kicker misses a pat costing you three points, then plays hero and injures himself and your team loses by four points. Etc, etc, etc.

Speaking of things I've said many times before: PFGH! (Pennant Fever Grips Hub!)

What's the ruling regarding an ambulance on the highway going 60 miles per hour with its lights on? Ok to pass? Move out of the way? Pull over?

How do the English get their cukes to grow like they do, and why are they always wrapped in shrink wrap?

I want to know where exactly the 100 pieces of paper that you have to sign for a mortgage refinance go. Something has to be worked out so you don't have to get writer's cramp.

Is it me or is baseball going in a bad direction? It used to be that when a good play was made, a high five and a couple of pats on the butt would suffice, but the Red Sox are taking it to a new level, replacing the butt pat with a full blown hug...? There's no hugging in baseball, is there? Then again, if this is what it takes to win the World Series, I suppose they can do whatever they feel like it, especially since I'll be there for Game Seven. PFGH!

Is it really necessary to send some unfortunate reporter out to stand on a sea wall when a hurricane is coming ashore?

Despite the recent HBO mock-umentary, 99% of the people in New England don't believe in the Curse of the Bambino. Really.

Is it me, or have Madden and Michaels lost a step? During the Denver/Oakland game, there were many plays that I thought were very key that neither of them picked up on. For instance, Lelie celebrating his impending touchdown too soon and almost losing the ball before crossing the goal line...

Let's not even get into the sideline reporter thing, who'd have thought we'd be wishing Melissa Stark was still involved?

Isn't it funny, when the Florida Marlins signed Pudge Rodriguez, everyone thought they were nuts to "waste" the money. I'd say that it was money pretty well spent. Here's hoping that they can sneak into the playoffs.

Speaking of baseball, here comes the annual "Most Valuable Player" versus "The Best Player" argument. You'd think that baseball might do something to put an end to this silly controversy.

By the way, I think we can now confirm that the writers made a mistake on the AL side of both the MVP and Cy Young voting last year.

Like clockwork, you can always tell that it's the last month in the baseball season when the Tampa Bay Devil Rays start brawling every other game. Is this really necessary?

Despite the addition of the real "Code Red" in the soda fountain here at Shark Headquarters, I'll continue to make my own, thank you.

Why is it that when a coach is having a bad game, he can take out his frustrations by yelling at the referee yet it is considered bad form for the referee to return the salvo? "Hey, Ref, you stink today!" "Not as bad as you do, Coach!" Oh to dream...