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Initially built by NASA to set lines for the Las Vegas casinos in the late 50’s (who do you think funded the Apollo missions? The government? It was the mob…), The Sin City Betbot 6000 calculated lines for over 30 years. The Betbot was given various upgrades through the years, not always with the best equipment, but he was very good at setting lines, and living the good life.

The Betbot was de-commissioned in 1990 after San Francisco destroyed Denver in the Super Bowl. The 45 point spread simply fried a number of the Betbot’s wires and he retired. The Betbot was discovered by and retooled to give fantasy advice. He lives now to give his own unique, well cultured take on the NFL.The Sin City Betbot 6000 Presents is transcribed by Joe Petrizzi and Tom Walls because “typing.. .BZZT… is a dame’s job”.

Ronald Reagan and I first got to be friends when Ol’ Blue Eyes and I visited him onset in the mid-60s. I was always confused by Ron’s conflicted politics (he was the president of a union, but became a Conservative), but I’m a true friend. So when Ron asked me to be in the room with him as he awaited the results during election night 1980, I said yes.

I watched the election results from my suite in Circus Circus with a mixture of apprehension, hope and vodka. I actually became property (again) of the Federal government shortly after the auto bailout. I was still somehow on GM’s books due to an accounting error, Obama himself granted me my freedom when he learned of the error; so, I owe him one. Since the bailout was one of the key issues of the election, I monitored it closely. Since 1980, I’ve become less political, but I was glued to the results like a football on Malcom Floyd’s hands.  

I learned some things that night; some things about Ron, Nancy, myself and this grand country. At our best , Americans are optimists, and that’s why Ron won that election. I also believe that’s why Barack Obama won on Tuesday (I’ve never met Barack, I try not to hold that against him), I hope that as we move forward, Americans can work together and I can stay buzzed six days a week.

NFC NOTES What’s wrong with the Giants? Why have they lost two in a row? Because they’re a 10-6 team, not a 13-3 team, capiche?

The Eagles are an absolute abomination. It is rare to have a team so bad believe that they are so good. Cries of, “we’re not playing to our talent level” radiate out of their compound, hey guys, yes you are. They’ll get to a miserable 7-9, I believe, but it will be an ugly and miserable end of…BZZZT… the season for all concerned in Philadelphia. What you have to be concerned with, in the off-season, is assuming that Andy Reid gets fired, is who will hire his replacement? No one in the Eagles organization has the track record to prove they can make an intelligent decision for a new head coach. Jeff Lurie and Howie Roseman are in uncharted waters here.

You can stop all the speculation about Sean Payton leaving New Orleans because of his voided contract. I don’t care how much cash he’s offered by other teams, Tom Benson has stuck with him through the mess here; If Payton has any moral make-up, he’s staying in New Orleans.

The Bears defense is the most fun defense I have watched in decades. There’s nothing else to say on the subject.

I think Matthew Stafford  is morphing slowly into Jared Lorenzen . He looks five pounds heavier every time I see him. Lay off the cheese cake, Matt, OK?

AFC NOTES Antonio Cromartie seems to believe that the New York Jets are a playoff team, despite their 3-5 record and minus-32 point differential.  Based on those two pieces of information, I recommend that Antonio stay out of the prediction business.

Remember when the Bengals were 3-1 after beating up on some weak early season opponents?  Their 4-game losing streak gets pressed this weekend as the Giants come rolling into town, which is bad news for QB Andy Dalton . The ol’ Red Rifle (or is it Red Rocket?) has already been sacked 22 times this season, Top 7 in the league.  I would normally blame the offensive line, especially given BenJarvus Green-Ellis’ weak 3.4 yards per attempt.  But Green-Ellis isn’t very good, so it’s not like we should expect great things. No, the real issue is that Cincy does not have a tremendous amount of intermediate receiving options so Dalton is getting hammered waiting for A.J. Green to get open down field.  Oh, and their defense is garbage, also (25th in points allowed, 20th in yards).  I liked them a little during the pre-season but this is not happening, folks.

Ten bucks says Cincy signs a middling free agent WR this off-season.  I bet Dwayne Bowe  would be a nice fit.

Speaking of Bowe, I hate to pick on the Chiefs again but this team is truly awful.   Romeo Crennel should have been fired already (or better yet, never hired).  I know that Jacksonville is also warming to the glow of the Jaguars’ own trash can fire, but I am looking to Kansas City as the front runner for the first pick in the 2013 draft. I would say to start playing the youngsters to see if they’ve got any keepers, but I can’t find any promising young players on the team.  Scott Pioli has created a...BZT...nightmare wrapped up in a conundrum. Great job!

Wow, I have been awfully negative thus far. Let’s talk about some positive things in the AFC.  As I predicted, Pittsburgh seems to have righted the ship, and will get a chance to take control of the AFC North with two of their next four games against the Ravens. Don’t expect too much drama, though - I project both of these teams to make the playoffs.

Did you realize that Miami’s point differential (+21) is just about the same as Baltimore (+23) and Pittsburgh (+27)?  If they can take 1-of-2 from the Patriots in the coming weeks, I expect the Dolphins to push for a playoff spot. I don’t expect them to sweep New England, but doing so would put them in the catbird seat for the AFC East title.

So long for now, and remember “Showgirls and gin my friends, showgirls and …BZT…gin.”