Survivor Exit - Rob Schare Rob Schare, Editor-in-Chief Sep 16, 2004 | More

BLAA!  That pretty much sums up my week 1 exit out of the Fantasy Sharks Survivor League.   It's like being the first person voted off the island in Survivor or booted out of the Big Brother house.  Shameful, just shameful.

For those that are not familiar with our league (which you can follow along here).  The concept is that you draft your guys way back in early July, never need to enter a line-up and there is no free agency or trading.  Then the best potential line-up is determined after the guys play.  Any team on the bottom is out (with amnesty given to the winner for the next week).  Last guy standing wins.

Ready for this disaster!   Let's take a look at this bunch of bums. 

To Tiki Barber:
For you I have no complaints.  31 points is more than I can expect from you on any given week.  Unfortunately the rest of your teammates came to the table with absolutely nothing.  Stand up guy you are.

To my #1 pick Jamal Lewis.  You gave me a freakin' 9!  57 yards on 10 rushes?  I could personally run better than that.  Go to jail and be done with you.  NFL Leading rusher.  Ya sure you are.  BA! 

To Charlie Garner.  25 yards rushing on 11 attempts. I mean please. 

To my starting QB Jeff Garcia.  Although your 19 points looks like a good week.  180 yards throwing is pathetic.  If you don't run that TD in yourself it would have turned into a truly pathetic week.

To my wonderful Wide Receivers core of Marty Booker, Peter Warrick, Laveranues Coles, and Reggie Wayne.
I don't even know where to start with you 4.  Coles my man 27 yards receiving?  Really nice job...way to go.  Booker!!  Yeah you!  You were no better with 36 yards.  Mr Wayne nice 42 yards.  Only Mr Warrick can stand tall at 76 yards receiving.  But boys, listen up!  All of you.  You don't score, you don't win!  No one in the end zone. Not one of you!  Zero touchdowns.  Zero!

To Kellen Winslow.  You were all hype.  Why 'o why do I choose rookies each and every year.  Can't I finally learn.

And to Mr Error Kenney.  Thanks for the TD.  Well done.  However, did you happen to check the box score?  They actually gave you a total of ZERO yards on that 1 catch.   I shudder to think what would happen if you needed to run over 1 yard and actually catch the ball.

To the two players I AM MOST ANGRY AT!!  John Kasay and Morten Anderson.  I know your title is Place Kicker.  A little father back though than the 2 yards for an extra point would have helped.  A total of 7 XP's from the two of you.  AND NO FIELD GOALS.  ZERO!!! 

To my lovely two Defensive Teams, The Panthers and the Chiefs.  Thanks for the 7 and 8 points respectively.  Nice to see you both step up to the plate with those big fat numbers.

I guess I have no one to blame but myself.  If you can't motivate this team week 1, you deserve to see the exit door early.  Ugh...I'm so disgusted!