The Diary of a Fantasy Virgin - Week 1 Sep 15, 2009 | More

One of the reasons you win fantasy football is because of land mines. Or shall I say the avoidance of. What is a land mine, you ask? Well, the season starts off with land mines aplenty. In Week 1, the Eagles defense is a land mine. Drew Brees is almost always a land mine. When a team defense or player gets hot, it becomes a statistical land mine. Avoid that opponent that week and win. Just avoid those land mines.

Thursday Night Football

I grew up with nerf football and the NFL. It was long after the two leagues combined. The point is that the season always started on Sunday. I mean … come on! Sunday! Hello! Well now it appears that we have to start the season with the Super Bowl champions hosting a Thursday Night affair. It is an after party to the Super Bowl but only several months later.

Super Bowl Part Deux

Really? When there are fireworks at the confluence of the Allegheny & Monongahela which forms the Ohio River, you are talking fireworks American style! But this affair reminds me too much of the season finale. First, you have the Black Eyed Peas which is a fine band. Then you have Tim McGraw acting as the other bookend to the library of the evening. And all of it hosted by Access Hollywood? With a end of the half-hour credits galore with writers, etc.? Does the opening of the season have to be this way? It was splendid fanfare and I certainly enjoyed it. But the game ended 13-10. It doesn’t matter who won ( Pittsburgh did in OT) but such excitement should lead to an exciting game. And perhaps it was with hitting and defense and prevention and such. But … to quote Madonna … “We are living in a material world and I am a material girl!”, which means offense rules the day.

How The Heck I Am Doing This Fine Weekend?

I am winning my football matchup this week. Ironically, I chose Fred Jackson over Jeremy Shockey and it all worked out. You see, in my league, the official commissioner Rob has gone to South Africa and left the commission-ing skills to a fine second in command. Let’s call the fellow John, ok? He gets in his cranium that more choice is better. So instead of a starting lineup of 1QB, 2RB, 2WR, 1TE, 1DST, and 1K; you get 1QB, 1RB, 1WR, 1TE, 1DST, 1K, and 2 flex RB/WR/TE. Oh sure. Just add more to the pot pie why don’t you? Well at the time of this article posting, I have won on the strengths of Jackson and Tom Brady. Ironically, I chose Jackson because he would be picking up all the scrap points after Brady engineered a large lead. But the game proved otherwise. Tom had to engineer a comeback and Fred was responsible for the lead. That is how I am doing this fine weekend. I am 1-0 and I avoided those land mines. Since it is Week 1, it is time to pick a better football team. So let’s have at it.

Pick Your Team Wisely Using 7 Steps to a Better Team

Can seven steps make your week? Only if you try them, my compadres de football de fantasy. Your fantasy football team wins if your starting team has more points at the end of the weekend than your opponent. As profound as that doesn’t sound, it becomes that simple. A great bench doesn’t win it. But knowledge is power and I am here to help. If you lost this week, let me assist you with a strategy that will at least give you a fair shot. All you want is a fair shot in this game. Anything else and you are the Postmaster General for the town named clueless; population: you! So here are seven steps to a better starting lineup. I made the seven steps stick out so you can keep them handy.

7 Steps To A Better Fantasy Football Starting Lineup

(1) Register At http://www.fantasysharks.com. It’s Free! (shameless plug)

(2) Go to  My Fantasy Home and enter your team in to the Edit My Players section.

(3) After Thursday morning, go to My Fantasy Home and the Fantasy Sharks Lineup Coach.

(4) Change all your players to that team … now!

(5) Here is the fine tune that helps out … check out Tony Holm’s prognosticator. In it, he judges the games for the best running/passing/catching scenario.

(6) If any of your second string (WR/TE/QB/K/RB) is on a hot offense, you may want to consider switching. For example, if Drew Brees and New Orleans’ passing situation will be better set up than Randy Moss and the Patriots’ passing (especially with Brady possibly out), you could start Colston over Moss.

(7) Do that until you are satisfied with your selections

Now, just relax, you did your best. That is all you can hope for. If you are winning, great, but if you are like the other half this week, stuff like this may help. Now this is just a starter, message boards and all the other fine writers on this site will help you. But you must begin in the beginning.  Speaking of which … how did your first week go?

Master D.

Tim can now be reached at tdavoll@fantasysharks.com and welcomes your opinions on the Diary of a Fantasy Virgin Articles.