The Diary of a Fantasy Virgin - Week 2 Sep 22, 2009 | More

The comings and goings of your fantasy football team may be shocking to you newbies. Well all I can say is welcome to fantasy football. This is a world where the Eagles defense gets you 45 points one week and six the next. The goods become great when the stats are in your favor. The goods become not so when your team has an off week. My week is steady as she goes.

Steady As She Goes Captain!

Despite the troubles of Tom Brady; a certain Marques Colston, Tony Gonzalez and Fred Jackson put it over the top this week. That trio made up enough scoring for me to overcome the Jets’ blitz package on Brady. I believe Tom will eventually figure it out. But until then nothing is true and no one on the team can be trusted, even if you have Drew Brees, my friends, because every QB can have a difficult week. Just don’t make it Weeks 15 & 16 alright? So I have started out 2-0 in fantasy football. The NFL is filled with 2-0 franchises that are starting to shake themselves out.

2-0 Contendas vs 2-0 Pretendas

When I was growing up, the Philadelphia Eagles started out 6-0 under Ron Jaworski. Yes, that same Jaworski that does Monday Night Football. As a child, I was so shocked that the Eagles were undefeated that I remember it was not right. And with a loss in the first round of the playoffs by a score of 27–21 to those New York Giants, they confirmed their pretenda status. This year there are no less than eight teams that are 2-0. The New York Giants appear to be a contenda. The Denver Broncos appear to be a pretenda. But the NFL is so weird that any team can pick it up and get to Thanksgiving with the right mojo to be a contenda. So, until I am eating Turkey legs and canvassing the landscape, all of the teams are pretendas.

Dear Diary

I have noticed as I age, weird things are happening that my parents never spoke to me about. The one area I am going to focus on is my ability (or shall I say inability?) to eat food. Yes, you heard me right. After spending years and years with little or no difficulty getting the food from the plate to the mouth, I have suddenly come upon a bad stretch where food is actually getting on my attire. The only incredulous part is that I am shocked to see it there. Speaking of adding insult to injury, the self-talk is definitely the best part of this arrangement.

How did the food get here, I ask. Then I start making up excuses like maybe it was thrown in my general direction when I wasn’t watching. Eventually, you have to pay the piper. When I look around all signs are definitely pointing to three people. That is me, myself and I. I wonder what other items my parents are keeping from me. I guess that will reveal itself all in good time.

Master D.

Tim can now be reached at tdavoll@fantasysharks.com and welcomes your opinions on the Diary of a Fantasy Virgin Articles.