The Diary of a Fantasy Virgin - Week 9 Nov 6, 2007 | More

OK. This is my usual article about freaking November. Like what is up with that? As of this writing, it will be 2 weeks to Thanksgiving and 6 or so weeks to Christmas. The Fantasy Football season ends for us at week 14. Oh geez, it’s just happening so fast and the losses are mounting. Where can I go this week? Yeah, it’s just another bye week in loserville U.S.A.

Another Bye Week

I get back my big guns in T. Romo and T.O. And they have a fantastic week. But injuries have left my team without R. Brown and J. Chatman is on a bye week anyway. This means I am catapulting toward another loss. Still, I can take some solace in that only one more player of mine has a bye week and then the team will be all together. Yes that is week 11. It will be safe to come back and play. Hopefully a complete team will be there as well. I hope to be above .500. At worst, I will be .500 which is awful considering the snappy 5-2 start I got off to. In fact this week, the suspense just isn’t all that riveting. So what can you say? Say Sunday win Captain Crunch. Sunday Win.

A Sunday Win

A Sunday win is when your team is winning by a handful of points but your opponent still has one player or more left. You know the loss is inevitable. The fact that I am still winning and the time being 9:20 PM is truly a miracle. Combine this with the fact that you are playing against your old college roommate and it is just wrong on so many levels. Because the bragging rights last a lifetime… well, least a week… or maybe even an afternoon. But anyway, this is an important week alright! Especially when you’ve known someone for 21 years, you get all flub-flistered and you are just not right in the head. So the combination of a Sunday win and your college roommate sticking it to you is just wrong. Let’s see what the diary has to say this week. I am feeling its Christmas time… once more.

Dear Diary

It is November 5^th and I found myself looking for light bulbs in Lowe’s. They were there alright. When out in my peripheral vision appeared a plastic Christmas tree all lit up for the holiday… that was still 6 weeks away. My eye continued and along with this tree was a huge X-Mas display room. So I took a look in the enclosed room.

It was eerily quiet. Almost like I was the first to partake in the X-Mas coming out party. The shelves were stacked with all these lights that no one had bought yet and there were festive colors and also a singing Moose that had a “try me” button… so I did. And a crooning sound emanated from this Moose that had me wondering if I had just landed on planet Mars. The quality was better than ever.

Then I realized that if I was the only person in here, there must be some way of knowing that I am trying all this stuff out. So I proceeded to enable all of the mooses singing brethren festooned in holiday glamour. The eerie sound of Jingle Bells, I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause, and Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer all smashed together brought harmony to an outrageous moment.

November 5^th. Big time Christmas display and nobody there… yet. I just hope I can be thankful before the holiday shopping kicks in. Why do I feel that it has happened and I am already behind?

 Master D.

Tim can now be reached at tdavoll@fantasysharks.com and welcomes your opinions on the Diary of a Fantasy Virgin Articles .