The Diary of a Fantasy Virgin Week 10 Nov 19, 2004 | More

Back in the good old U. S. of A. my friends.  The everyday tasks of getting gas, going to work, and road rage just never seemed so appealing before I left.  But they are totally American nonetheless.  All that is left of my vacation is a pound of Swiss Chocolate and the 5 pounds it will add to my hips over the next few weeks.  But that Chocolate is so damn good; it will instantly win over everyone that comes in contact with the elixir of cacao.  Back to the week that was and have you ever been ground into little pieces even though you score quite well?  That happened this week.

Give Me a Flipping Break!

Like you have to be kidding me!  Sometimes, your opponent is worthy and then sometimes the stars are aligned.  My opponent had McNabb and the Patriots defense.  How many points was that combination?  Why don’t you try 71.  I have had whole teams only score 71 points.  When two fantasy slots are scoring 71 points (42 for McNabb, 29 for the Pats defense), all H. E. double Hockey Sticks are breaking loose.  And the sad part is that my team scored 124 points which in our league is quite good.  But sometimes not good enough and back we go to .500.  Let’s see how the Captain handles those two shall we?     

Captain’s Log – 11-15-2004 – 11:00 PM

“Artemis!” I screamed off the port bow.  “What be the devil of that combination ye scallywag!”  Arty stated…”Cap’n, I believe it is a McNabb aboard a Patriot!”.  “Whatever it is..” I retorted “It be coming at us at the speed of guilt on a Catholic Schoolboy!”  Artemis stared blankly taking in the obscure reference.  By the time he had soaked it all in, the Demolition was under assault.  The scary part is that our team was quite good this week and the obstacle was just better.  Afterwards, the ale was locked in and all of us partook in our first dose of humble pie.  This week was an indication that all our days ahead will be filled with Mawu and Boatswain.  I ordered the Boatswain aboard the Demolition and they appeared quite readily to help me out.  The ship was listing badly from being McNabbed.  Secretly, I sent by courier pigeon a relay to Mawu’s home island.  We needed a better chance and where else could you get it from than other than Mawu.  I hope that next week is more fortuitous.

Master D.

Tim can now be reached at tdavoll@fantasysharks.com and welcomes your opinions on the Diary of a Fantasy Virgin Articles.