The Diary of a Fantasy Virgin Week 12 Timothy Davoll, Fantasy Football Staff Writer Nov 28, 2003 | More

On this Thanksgiving week, I think its time to stop for a moment and give thanks to those sacrificing for our Turkey day overseas.  It will be repeated in many forms in hopes that someone will listen and stop. May you pause a moment when this time comes to pass.  Many people think of Thanksgiving as a time for family get-togethers and new ways to eat turkey.  So this week it will be Turkey thoughts and the results from the blessing of the Voodoo woman on board our ship.

Giving Thanks

I will start off giving thanks to cwypaco for the kind words about being a virgin article follower.  Rob’s interview with him can be read at this site.  I know that most people view Thanksgiving as that time when you either host or go to a place and marvel at the dry, crusty bird cooked by grandma, aunt, mother-in-law, mom, or close friend.  I know yours is moist but everyone’s cannot be so I am letting those others know that I feel your pain.  I am mostly amazed at the frenzy in the grocery stores and the need to purchase stuffing and the various food accoutrements associated with this feast.    When else have I ever eaten pearl onions or pickled relish during the year? Let me think here.  Nope, never, I am coming up snake eyes.  This is also the season of losing your car in the parking lot.  Just this morning there was a fellow with that blank stare and a carriage hitting the unlock button on his key chain listening for that unlock beep.  Oh, I get it.  Its not a just a vehicle feature, but a come and locate my lost even though I just parked it a half hour ago vehicle feature!  Technology is a wonderful thing and another reason to give thanks I guess.  At my family Thanksgiving Feast, it is all about a vast multitude of choices followed by an equivalent vast multitude of pies.  We have no less than 6 pies for dessert.  There is Pumpkin, Apple, Blueberry, Sweet Potato, Pecan, and Minced Meat available at your fingertips.  Did you know that Minced Meat does not contain meat?  I think what I give thanks for most is that I married a beautiful woman who participates with my family’s Thanksgiving Festivus.  The first year she came, when we were still dating, my Uncle threw a bunch of biscuits across the table during the meal and they were promptly returned to sender with vitriol that was pent up from the biscuit fiasco from 365 days before.  This was very much a surprise for my wife and it was just so unnoticed by the rest of the family.  The dichotomy of expressions from those who cared and those who didn’t was priceless. 

Transitions

I did ask my future wife the only thing she had to do was to prepare for the “transition”.  I know you are asking what the transition is.  Lets look at transitions in sports.  In regular season hockey, when the game is over and it is a tie, the clock sets off a countdown starting at 5 minutes.  In football, the teams get together and toss a coin.  In baseball, the teams go into extra innings and the game continues at the same pace.  I guess my Thanksgiving house is the baseball of eating.  No sooner have we finished our meal and then a pie pusher comes encouraging “extra innings”.  There may be six extra innings left in this game if you catch my drift from earlier parts of the article.   I never realized this until I left home for college and then met people on the outside.  Dessert actually comes in around 15-45 minutes after the meal?   Not 15-45 seconds?  And this is ok? Well I hope that those cranberry/stuffing/turkey meat sandwiches for the next week or so treat you all right.  Have a Happy Thanksgiving.  Lets see how the Captain is managing this week.

Captain’s Log – 11-24-2003 – 11:00 PM

The Voodoo woman blessed the ship last week and that means we have resorted to a voodoo woman blessing the ship.  But the results were fantastic.  We immediately got a lift on the boat because Mawu knew here way around salt cod and had several recipes using various combinations of flavorful treasures from the spice trade.  With our improved feast-abilities, the shipmates put their backs into this week’s obstacle and cleared it with nary a scratch.  We hadn’t been this good in a while and our mood improved another notch.  This mood of the crew was the opposite of the boatswain.  And to my delight even Artemis had a plan for the next obstacle worked up during this week of the Feast.  This is a yearly event for us and Artemis was up to the task.  Artemis told the crew stories of legends past when Cowboys and Lions invited gridiron denizens for a pigskin match up watched by many.  At the end he wrote “Don’t Lett yourself lose” and the crew laughed mightily while hoisting tankards of pale ale. He and the crew just sniggered when I told him he spelt let wrong.  Oh well, another inside joke on the Captain.  Happy Feast Day to all and be safe.

Master D.