May…bzzzt…14

The Fanex Analysis Draft kicks off soon, believe it or bleeping not! It kicks off the unofficial start to fantasy football season for me. And I like tearing apart the picks, who doesn’t love that! One of the schmoes that transcribes my columns for me shares a team with Chris Dolfi from Fantasysharks fame.

When the picks and analysis start popping up, I’ll update, but you can follow the actual picks here …And hey – what do you know, that Tony…bzzzt…Holm cat has a team too.

Surprisingly enough, To Kill a Mockingbird was actually about the most interesting part of  Atticus Finch’s life…What a coincidence

Skimming the Shark Tank, this is definitely my Thread of the Day… as for me, the guy has no class, but he’ll be in the HOF.

To answer all your questions/emails,etc…No, the Iron Man suit is not based on my body. The Iron Man suit is based on the imagination of Jack “The King” Kirby . Now, I did know Kirby and Stan “The Man” Lee back in the early 60s…IT is possible that my first chassis was used as a basis for Iron Man’s first suit of armor.

May…bzzzt…6

“Betbot, why a blog? Why now?”

“Betbot, where have you been?”

“Betbot, why did you only do 25 picks in your mock draft?”

Questions, questions, bleeping questions.

To answer the first, it felt like the right time. I decided that the world should not be without my wisdom just because it isn’t football season.

To answer the second, I have been relaxing, recuperating living life. I’m a robot, as long as I properly maintain myself, I am going to live forever. That’s almost as scary proposition as dying. Sometimes I need to take…bzt…time off to recollect and think about life. I spent the last 6 months in various ashrams throughout Asia Minor. I am an avowed Catholic, but I have learned much from the World’s great religions.

To answer the third, because that’s why. Actually we were testing some stuff with the blog and it wasn’t public yet, so I figured, why bleeping bother? The last 6 picks (tsk tsk tsk New England) went exactly the way the NFL Draft did. Even if I had the player taken earlier in my mock draft…like Kenny Phillips. Take my bleeping word for it.

I’m still feeling this whole blog thing out. We’ll see where I go with this. The only thing I can promise is that it’ll be 100% Betbot baby, one hundred bleeping percent!

A couple of items recently caught my eye on the news site The Onion. I love these guys, they know how to get to the meaty middle of issues.

TO is worried about character in the Cowboys locker room poor TO…

And have you ever caught yourself saying, “Say no to something Tiger. Say no to SOMETHING!!” He reminds me of Bill Cosby in the early 80s. Before the show with all the crazy sweaters. A breakout star who is one TV selling something or another too damn much. It’s unseemly Mr. Woods, it’s damn unseemly.

Betbot Mock Draft Picks 21-25

21 – Washington Redskins – Limas Sweed – WR - Texas

The entire NFC East has been hot and heavy for WRs (except for the Giants, and frankly, the only thing they have going for them is youth). The Redskins have a tough choice between a WR and Kenny Phillips, who would take place in Washington’s backfield replacing another Miami alumnus, Sean Taylor. Devin Thomas is a consideration, but we go with the more polished commodity.

22 – Dallas Cowboys – Kenny Phillips – S – Miami

Cowboys fans finally are starting to see the light about Roy Williams. He’s great at hitting and illegal tackles, but little else. Scuttlebutt has the Boys going with a RB/WR combo these first two picks, but if Phillips gets past Washington, I see Dallas shoring up their secondary with Phillips.

I know it’s been said before, but what a Rogue’s Gallery the Cowboys locker room is going to be. Hopefully Tank Johnson really has changed, because with Adam Jones, T  O, Tony Romo/Jessica Simpson and Jerry Jones on the sideline…I just don’t bleeping know.

23 – Pittsburgh Steelers – Gosder Cherilus – T – Boston College

With Faneca leaving, the Steelers O-line is starting to look very suspect. This is purely a need pick, and the Steelers could get very good talent at other positions – but I think they have to get one of the last 1-2 round quality tackles here. That makes this a risky pick for them – but they need someone who has a shot at starting this year if someone on their thin line gets hurt.

24 – Tennessee Titans – Calais Campbell– DE – Miami

I’m sorry – but the fact that the Titans brought back Jevon Kearse tell you all you need to know about their DE depth. I don’t like the other WRs left , and Jerod Mayo is a possibility, but Campbell fills a more pressing need.

25 – Seattle Seahawks – Tyrell Johnson – S– Arkansas State

Johnson slips into the first round (sounds like a dirty bleeping joke to me). This guy is good, very good. He’s quick, and fast (there’s a difference folks), and closes on ball carriers and the ball better than Kenny Phillips, at least that’s the bleeping…bzzzt…buzz. If the Seahawks get him, they may have one of the best back sevens in football.

Mock Draft picks 16 - 20

16 – Arizona Cardinals – Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie – CB - Tennessee State

I have Rodgers-Cromartie falling quite a bit here. I don’t know that he will last this long, but I simply can’t find a place for him up above. If Stewart or Mendenhall falls, they could be the pick, but not if a talent like Rodgers-Cromartie is still around.

17 – Minnesota Vikings – Devin Thomas – WR – Michigan State

I am assuming the Vikings get Allen from KC. Thomas has the well documented short-coming of a short career as a starter at MSU, but this is a great spot for him if Allen is traded. The Vikings have a poor WR corps, Berrian’s addition is a help, but he’s not enough. The Vikings haven’t had a lot of luck at the WR position, but Thomas is too good to pass up.

18 – Houston Texans – Chris Williams – T – Vanderbilt

This reminds me of my brief, tumultuous affair with Charo. We were on The Love Boat together…the sexual chemistry between us was undeniable. Well – every mock draft I have seen has Williams going here, and I concur, much like Charo and I at the time, the Texans need Williams, and he has nowhere better to go.

19 – Philadelphia Eagles – Aqib Talib – CB – Kansas

I am assuming the Eagles trade…bzzzt…Lito Sheppard. If they hold onto him (and surely they will know by now even if no trade is consummated) look for Phillips from Miami or a OT if any of the guys I have going before are still around. One note – the Eagles could drive up demand for Sheppard by taking one of the first round CBs here.

20 – Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Mike Jenkins – CB– South Florida

The Bucs need someone at CB who is not about to enter the fabulous world of AARP discounts. The Tampa 2 system is very forgiving to CBs, and Jenkins could step right in and start for the Bucs. If the Bucs fall in love with Brohm, could he be the pick…? A possible scenario, Brohm is starting to creep back up draft boards.

Betbot Mock Draft Picks 11-15

Betbot Mock Draft Picks 6-10

Betbot Mock Draft Picks 1-5

Initially built by NASA to set lines for the Las Vegas casinos in the late 50’s (who do you think funded the Apollo missions? The government? It was the mob!), The Sin City Betbot 6000 calculated lines for over 30 years. The Betbot was given various upgrades through the years, not always with the best equipment, but he was very good at setting lines, and living the good life.

The Betbot was de-commissioned in 1990 after San Francisco destroyed Denver in the Super Bowl. The 45 point spread simply fried a number of the Betbot’s wires and he retired. The Betbot was discovered by Fantasysharks.com and retooled to give fantasy advice. He lives now to help your team with deeper sleepers to start each week.

Now, he’s joining the blogging game. As he says, “It’s about bleeping time!”

The Betbot’s blog is transcribed each week by Joe Petrizzi and Tom Walls, because, “Typing is a dame’s… BZZZT job.”

We’ll go through the congratulations to me posting a blog later. Suffice to bleeping say – this is a new enterprise for fantasysharks.com and for me. Again, thank you to Mr. Tony Holm for allowing me to spew my wisdom all over your minds. Tony is a good man, a good bleeping man.

The first series of my blogs will be a serialized mock NFL Draft, everyone else is doing it, why not me?

Some rules/assumptions about this mock draft…

- I assume no trades, trades will happen, but for my purposes – no trades.

- My picks are a mix of who I think the best pick is and who I think the organization will take…Depending on the team/circumstance. Most…Bzzzt… picks will be my analysis only, but for those special circumstances, or unorthodox owners (I’m looking at you Al Davis), I may go away from my best pick and take a guy the organization loves (yes, it’s all misinformation t this point…I know).

Let’s get to business here:

1 – Miami Dolphins – Chris Long – DE – Virginia

Look, this pick is going to get traded. But per the above, I gotta stick with the Fins here. Miami needs EVERYTHING…EVERY bleeping THING. I think Jake Long is a real solid choice for Miami wherever they pick to. But I go with the chalk pick here. Chris Long could be a nice bookend for Jason Taylor, assuming he doesn’t become a ballet dancer.

2 – St. Louis Rams – Glenn Dorsey – DT – LSU

I feel good about this one actually happening. Gholston would be a terror on the St. Louis surface, but the Rams need a big body in the middle, and Dorsey fits the bill. A lot of pundits have Carricker going to DE this year with Dorsey in the middle…an excellent front if the Rams do this.

3 – Atlanta Falcons – Jake Long – OT – Michigan

Long’s name has not been tied to the Falcons in a lot of drafts I have seen, but I like him here. The Falcons could use anyone on the offensive or defensive lines (again, Gholston is a temptation). I like Long because I think he is the best player available. I know they could go with Matt Ryan – but I think a lot of teams will be looking for the second tier of projected QB picks (Brohm, Flacco, Henne) at the end of the first, beginning of the second. A lot of teams with picks 25-32 will have plenty of teams looking to trade with them.

This is one of the special circumstances I noted above. The Falcons could look to take Ryan to put Vick behind them, but I think the right pick is Long.

4 – Oakland Raiders – Vernon Gholston – DE – The Ohio State University

Gholston is the pick here. The Raiders need a lot of help with their run defense (and – OK – a lot of other things) but I think they go with Gholston to firm up one of their few strengths, the pass rush.

I don’t believe the McFadden hype, and it is starting to die out now. I hope Mr. Davis has enough sense to know that running back is about the last thing he needs on his team (besides CB).

5 – Kansas City Chiefs – Ryan Clady – OT – Boise State

Booo! The Betbot sucks! I can hear it bleeping now!

This is my first real reach – but the Chiefs O-Line was a disaster last year. The Chiefs could go with Matt Ryan here also, but I think Clady can come in right away and start for the Chiefs. Branden Albert here? I don’t think so – pick 5 is just a bit too high for him.

Welcome to the new FantasySharks.com blog!

That’s right, we’re taking the plunge into the world of blogging and will be unrolling various blogs as we go. Please stay tuned!