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There are two types of Fantasy Football Owners: Sharks and Chum, which are you?
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PostPosted: Mon 02.14.2011, 15:54 
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Great White Shark
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The mystery has begun, help Batman and Robin solve the mystery of which shark has become a serial killer.

Here are the rules:

One shark who has signed up to be a part of this game has been selected to be the murderer. The murderer will pick anyone in the tank that he wants to kill and will tell the writer/detective (Lundy Love) who that person is. The writer will then send a PM to the “murdered” shark with a message that they have been killed and possibly a message that they should post in this thread. The message may include how they were killed and other information that may clue us in to who the murderer is. If the murdered person is part of the game then that is a clue that he/she is not the killer but it could be someone who is not involved in the game and then the message is the only clue.

The detective will post a bi-daily (or so) chapter of the murder mystery. The chapter will be full of clues as to who the murderer is. Your job is to read the chapter and decide what is a clue and what is just part of the story. There will be a maximum of one chapter written each night. There will also be a maximum of one murder event (could be a double murder) every chapter.


The murderer is allowed to discuss in the thread (as to not be a clue) but is not allowed to purposely throw people off. The discussion in the game thread is free to anyone. The writer will moderate to ensure that everything is running smoothly and participants are acting accordingly with the rules and not in any way harmful to the game. Once someone is murdered they will still be able to participate in the game by guessing the murderer but will not be allowed to post in the game thread.

Guessing

Guesses are not allowed for the first week of the mystery. After that time the detective will open up guesses to anyone who is in the game. Guesses will be made by PMing the writer (Lundy). You are not to post anywhere that you have made a guess. Doing so will result in you being immediately disqualified. The detective will choose when to inform a guesser whether they were right or not. If they are wrong then they will be disqualified (or murdered). The detective will not make it known when a correct guess has been made until the end of the mystery. There can be more than one winner. The writer will decide when the story has taken its complete course and will end it in a fashion fit for this tank.

Prize
This year we will award the prize money a little differently. There is approximately 15,000 sand available to be given out. That includes many gracious donations as well as a nice sum added by an anonymous donor. At the end of the mystery I will give out prize money to the people who guessed correctly at my discretion. I will also be giving out prize money to other people who have participated and added to the game.



On the first page of the game thread (this page) I will keep the story and murdered people separate so that anyone can just read this page to be kept up.

Good luck and enjoy!

_________________
The Megalodon Murderer has been caught! Read about it here

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Last edited by springles on Fri 02.18.2011, 10:01, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Mon 02.14.2011, 15:54 
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Great White Shark
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Joined: Tue 09.06.2005, 17:33
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Suspects
vikes_fan_4_life!
jstr2112
rodg2915
Baron_Fel
gridguru
StoneCutter
panachevitz
powerhousebum
The Dragon
Fighting Amish
jdhowlett
prplhz14
Third and Long
5XChamps
Alfman
und2006
springles
Tony_Holm
Tron Jeremy
Mursenary
c2o
jesteva
jokerswild1130
DynastyForce
625james
DropkickFluties
hemol
marty1841
DeepBlackBank
nicdolas
Krazy Kraut
OilersNut
mikeraphon
ffking24

_________________
The Megalodon Murderer has been caught! Read about it here

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Last edited by springles on Sat 02.26.2011, 22:55, edited 5 times in total.

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PostPosted: Mon 02.14.2011, 15:55 
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Great White Shark
Great White Shark
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Joined: Tue 09.06.2005, 17:33
Posts: 7689
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Location: Long Island, NY
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RIP
vikes_fan_4_life!
gridguru
jesteva
DeepBlackBank
Baron_Fel
panachevitz
DynastyForce
hemol
marty1841
OilersNut
Lundy Love

_________________
The Megalodon Murderer has been caught! Read about it here

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Last edited by springles on Wed 03.02.2011, 12:54, edited 7 times in total.

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PostPosted: Mon 02.14.2011, 15:55 
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Great White Shark
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Joined: Tue 09.06.2005, 17:33
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Story
Chapter One

The headlights flashed as the engine revved louder and louder. These country roads get eerily spooky after the sun goes down. The man was running from the car. Who knows why or what was happening? All the man knew was that he was fishing in the local pond and stayed out just a bit too late, and now; he was being chased by a souped up Ford Fusion in the dead cold air. The old fat man was running with all that his geriatric body would allow but the spooky car would always get closer and closer. He found a creek to duck out of the holler and he was for a moment, safe. Or so he thought…

Welcome to Pinto, he friendliest town in the South. Why the folks around here will invite any old stranger in their house to have a helping of supper, because it is just what they do. Even though the people are nice, nothing ever seems to go on around here, you know, because the people are so nice.

“I love fishing, Pop!” said the little boy.

“Shut Up you little turd.” The older gentleman took a swig of whiskey from his coca cola bottle. “I never wanted you but your whore of a mother didn’t want an abortion. The child support alone is killing me.”

“I love you Dad!”

“I told you not to call me Dad. I am Mr. Gridguru to you; you little freak, and for god sake, take a shower, Stonecutter. I never understood why your mother named you that it’s a stupid f---n name.”

“I know you are just saying that because you are drunk, Dad!” Little Stonecutter noticed a strange smell coming from the creek.

“Jesus son, if you have to go, go in the bushes.” Grid said taking another hit from his cigar. “You need to borrow some of that high powered douche from that whore of a mother of yours and gently apply to your arse.”

That’s when they noticed the body hanging from the tree with a timing chain around his neck.

“That is awesome!” Stonecutter said.

“Quit poking the body with a stick.” Gridguru warned his son. “You will get herpes or Aids or something.

A car came by as soon as they heard the news. It looked like a cross between a bat and a 1969 Chevy Camaro. Two costumed freaks jumped out of the car to calm the folks down.

“Calm down, everybody, Batman and Robin is here to figure this one out.” Batman said coming out of the passenger side.

“I love driving and I am only 16” The nerd in the Robin costume said. “Thank god, you got that DUI and lost your license Lundy or you would not even need me.”

“I know not of this Lundy you speak of.” Lundy said in his batman mask.

“If you guys are here, who is running the comic book store, you nerds?” Gridguru asked. “Onut, you look gay in that robin outfit and Lundy, you look like a douche.”

“Can I have your autograph?” Stonecutter said to the bat man. “I loved that last movie you were in. So, what brings you to Pinto?”

“Yeah, what brings you here” Grid asked the dweebs. “It’s not Halloween”

“Obviously, there has been a murder and we are here to solve the case.” Lundy said.

“Holy beatdowns, batman!” Onut said. “Look at these marks on the body. Looks like he was beat with the timing chain before they hung him with it.”

“Elementary, my dear, Robin… Only the Penguin is this diabolical.” Lundy said and that’s when the big man in the county made his presence known. The sirens were loud and direct. It was Sheriff Champs to put a hold on this amateur investigation. He stepped out of his police car and walked around a bit, sniffed the body and was shocked beyond belief.

“Oh, Mrs. Vikesfan is not going to like this at all.” He radioed into his Deputy Panchevitz” Pancheivous…”

“That is not my name!” the Deputy answered.

“Whatever! I need you to notify the next of kin that Vikes fan 4 life is no longer a vikes fan.” Sheriff Champs told him.

“Over and out.”

“We are on the case, Sheriff.” Lundy told Che sheriff.

“I will take it from here, don’t y’all have a dungeons and douches tournament to get to. Let the professionals handle this.”

“Hmmm, what do we have here?” Onut said picking up what appears to be a note taped to the forehead of the victim
“I will take that.” Champs grabbed the evidence and read it aloud. “This is not the first and won’t be the last. Signed William Cody.”

“I don’t know a William Cody” Robin said. “What could this mean?

“I wonder.” Lundy said.

“I may need some help on this case. You, two are hereby deputized.” Sheriff was puzzled and confused. “Who goes by that name?”

“I farted!” Stonecutter laughed.


Chapter 2

Word travels round in a small town and Pinto is no different. People were spreading the gossip of Vikesfan's murder. Who could do such a thing? He was such a nice man who would do anything for anybody. Lundy and Onut were on the case though and they were not going to stop until they found their killer. So the first logical place to find some answers was Joker's Wild Garage and question that clown....

"May i help ya? Ha! Ha!" Yes it was the best mechanic in all of Pinto. He was also a car enthusiast which made him the prime suspect.

"So, You like cars, do you?" Lundy asked him in his Batman costume.

"What gave it away, genius." Joker said.

"Holy Deja Vu" Onut realized. "He reminds me of a villain we fought once."

"Interesting, Robin." Lundy said."Could it be the Riddler?"

"No, he isn't inquisitive enough"

"What about Hugo Strange?" Lundy asked once again.

"Not smart enough. Let me just tell you, i think I remember." Onut suggested.

"This is fun! I wanna guess." Lundy said. "Mad Hatter? Killer Croc? Scare Crow"

"Not Crazy enough. He is warm blooded and he really doesn't scare me all that much." Onut reasoned.

"I got it. Cat-woman." Lundy said thinking he cracked the case.

"Well, he is girly enough." Onut said. "But that's not it either."

"Are you two retarded?" Joker said laughing again. "Do you not watch any of the movies. I am a clown, I laugh I wear makeup."

"Thats why I guessed catwoman, because only a woman wears makeup." Lundy said.

"Or a homicidal clown." Joker said.

"So you do admit it." Lundy said. Book him Danno."

"I admit nothing." Joker said. "Besides, i didn't do it. I would lose a lot of business on my side job of entertaining kids on the side. Would you like a balloon animal?"

"Admit it." Lundy told the clown. "We know you killed him. You like cars and he was chased by a car and you did it."

"I was doing a party that night. I did not do it. So, suck it." Joker said.

"I know you did and your alibi is as flimsy as old man Jesteva's prescription drug rehab."

"Ummm, Batman. Onut said tugging on Lundy's cape in embarrassment. "He could not have done it."

"How do you know?" Lundy said curiously.

"Because, he was doing my birthday party.... I just turned 16 and my mother thought i would want a clown. He wasn't even that funny" Onut said. "I think i want a refund because you suck as a clown."

"You should have read the fine print." Joker said. "No refunds no matter how corny and lame my act is."

"I still think you did it." Lundy said as the sound of Bat-dance went off. "What? Doesn't everybody have a Prince ring tone."

"Lundy, you are weird." Joker said. "And , this is coming from a guy dressed as a clown who fixes cars."

Lundy answered his phone. "Yes Sheriff, There has been another murder!!!" Lundy said out loud.

'Holy serial Killer." Onut retorted.

"I killed a bowl of Cheerios this morning." Joker laughed at his own joke.

"Still not funny." Onut said.

"We will be back!" Lundy said. "Something strange is going on around here and I am going to find out you did it."

"I will be waiting, goofnuts." Joker laughed again." ta ta for now."

Lundy and Onut quickly jumped into the bat-mobile and drive like a bat out of hell to the new crime scene where Sheriff Champs was waiting. they hopped out of the car and saw the most disgusting siight ever. A body was lying on the ground filleted open from the back of the spine to the front. a huge hole was dug out of the abdomen with what seems to be a dull jagged salad spoon. Right beside the body was a fishing pole resting on a Y stick in the ground with the corpses liver hanging on the hook while the rest of the guts are floating in the water.

"Holy Fishbait!" Onut said. "The guy we are dealing with is not dealing with a full deck. Poor Gridguru. Seems the killer didn't like him finding out what he did."

"Hmmm." Lundy said observing the crime scene some more. "Grid was a drunk anyway. nobody liked him except for his son. Stonecutter."

"Did you all see this?'" Champs said. "Here is another note."

"Here's hoping there is a bite just waiting on you." said the note. "Signed Wyatt Earp."

"DADDDDDDDDDDDDDDYYYYYYYYYYYY!" Stonecutter came down the hill to the fishing hole to find his father mutilated. and he was devastated. "Ooops, I farted again."

Chapter 3
Welcome to c2o's! Its a diner just out of the skirts of town and that is where the absolute best eating in town is. Everybody comes from far and wide to smell what c2o is cooking and they eat and eat and eat and eat. But, mostly, its a hangout in this dry county where all the town folk can meet and talk about the news of the day, which happens to be today about not being safe in this town anymore.

“It's crazy man.” A fat man in overalls who looked and smelled like he has done chores on his farm. Of course he always smells like that since he hasn't showered in years. Krazy Kraut was his name and other then the smell, most folks liked him. “It's like we are not safe anymore.

“Well, I am sure Sheriff champs is on top of it. We voted in a good man. He served 5 tours of duty in Nam. I am not worried at all.” Hemol said as he took another sip of his sweet iced tea, and speak of the devil, the man sworn to protect and serve entered the diner.

“Would you like the usual?” c20 asked the sheriff as he took a seat at the bar.

“2 Eggs over easy.” Champs said. “How are you fine folks doing today?”

“We are scared.” Jistr said. “Are you finding out anything on this case?”

“Y'all do not have to worry about a thing.” the Sheriff said. “I have my best men on the case.”

“I am not. In fact, I haven't heard anything about this case.” Deputy Panchevitz retorted back to the Sheriff as he spit some more chew juice in a bottle.

“Exactly! We actually want to solve this crime, and the only reason you got this job was because you knocked up my niece and you need a way to support that baby.”

“I was really drunk that night.” Panchy said. “When I became sober, I could not believe how ugly she was and now I am stuck with her forever and our kid looks like a back swamp mutant.”

“I am certain Lundy, Onut and Stonecutter will figure it out.” Champs said sipping on his coffee. “Shame about Stonecutter's father though. His mother was unfit and nobody else claimed him, so I forced him on his Uncle Lundy. I am the law and I can do that. I wasn't going to take care of the booger eater. I am sure they are doing just fine.”

Meanwhile, where ever they were.

“Do I really have to wear this costume, I look like a girl.” Stonecutter cried out loud to his uncle.

“A Batgirl costume was all we had and we have to keep our identity a secret.” Lundy said as Onut hummed the Batman theme.

:”i am a boy, damn it and I should not be wearing panties.” Stonecutter said. “I did have some Spiderman pajamas.”

“You wanted to go on an adventure with us and we let you. Just be glad, we are letting you.” Lundy said. “besides pajamas are not the official costume but the worst blatant ripoff ever. So, pick out your wedgie and shut the hell up, Batgirl. We got a Case to crack.”

Just then there was a loud scream from just down the road. Immediately, our heroes rushed to the scene of the perceived crime. Onut was speeding up the batman theme as Lundy docked the Ipod into the deck and away he went to find out what all the commotion was just down the road. It was Sprigles who looked like he had just seen a ghost.

“You know you scream like a girl.” Lundy told Springles as he hopped out of his car. “AhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”

thats when Batman screamed like a girl too when he saw what he saw.

“Maybe you should wear my costume” Stonecutter said.

“Well, if that isn't twisted.” Onut said. “The guy's legs are sticking out of this end of the wood shredder. But his body parts are blown all over in this direction.”

“It was just Jesrteva, and he was 100 years old so who cares. He was about to die anyway.” Springles said. “But, now I have to clean up this mess. Its an outrage, I will never be able to use this wood chipper again. The body ruined the blades.”

“This looks like it was done just last night.” Lundy said as he dipped his finger in the blood and tasting it.

“Here is another strange message.” Onut said. “It is written in blood on the machine.”

“If it had to end tonight, I'm ready to go, and I am content with it.... Signed, Roy Rodgers/”

“What does this mean?” Onut said.

“i am not sure.” Lundy said. “but, none of us our safe from this sicko.”

“I farted.” Stonecutter said.

“Damn it, boy, its not polite for bat ladys to fart.”

“oops I farted again...”

_________________
The Megalodon Murderer has been caught! Read about it here

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Last edited by springles on Wed 02.23.2011, 12:49, edited 4 times in total.

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PostPosted: Mon 02.14.2011, 15:55 
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Great White Shark
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Chapter 4

"You won't get away with this." Deep Black Bank said. "I know who you are!"

"I know I am not that crazy." It was a man in a ski mask and if you thought I was going to tell you who was behind the ski mask, you are as stoned and high as this guy is for being able to talk to a building. I mean, banks don't talk and even if this one does or doesn't because there is some freaky hallucinating going on. "Why are you talking to me?"

"I am going to call a press conference and ell everyone who you are." The Bank whispered in the night. "They will all know just how evil you really are."

"I am not scared. I am dreaming this." The mysterious man said in the shadows of the pinto full moon. "You are not real?"

"Do you really want to take that chance, do you? I will shut up. All you have to do is give me a whole bunch of money." The talking bank continued. "I want you to open up an checking account and I will give you a free toaster and no one will ever know."

"But I bank at second National. Its the best bank in town and it doesn't charge me every-time I make a debit charge."

"Yes but does it offer cash back on every transaction and 100 dollars initial deposit when you open an account." The bank retorted.

"It does have free checking."

"I have free checking and free checks."

"People still use checks?" The masked man said. "Why not just use a debit card. its safer and easier and cheaper considering the cost of checks."

"I have tellers with big boobies and I know how much you love that." The bank said.

"No deal." the serial killer said. "Just so you know. I have figured out my fourth victim."

"i am telling." The bank said. 'Everyone will know and you will be brought to justice."

BOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Now everyone will bank at second national." the man laughed as he walked away from the explosion and fire.....


The next morning, Onut and Lundy were going through the debris of the burnt down bank through the smell of singed concrete and smoke. Stonecutter was playing in the fallen blackened burned up bank because that is what a kid would do with a irresponsible guardian who doesn't give a crap about him.

"Who would destroy this bank." Onut said. "I had 10,000 dollars in this bank."

"Don't worry, its covered by FDIC." Lundy stated. "Wait a minute, you had 10,000 dollars. How in the hell did you get that kknd of money."

"I whored myself out to a bunch of sailors in the 60's Its not something I am proud of." Onut said. "But, i had to put myself through college."

I found another note." Stonecutter ran to the dynamic duo. "If I knew how to read, I would tell you what it says."

"I need to unleash the fury. I have so many pent up frustrations involving many things I am about to lose it." The note wrote." Signed... Butch Cassidy."

"So, he killed a bank." Onut said.

"i would appear so."

"Guess what?" Stonecutter giggled.

"We know!" Onut and Lundy said. "You farted."


Chapter 5

The cold dark sky was black to the point that even the streetlights in the small town was failing to keep up. The stars were hiding and the full moon was not available for comment. The Deputy Panchevitz (spelling) was on call for the evening and even though it wasn't in the forefront of their mind, the dark and eerie atmosphere was staring to concern him in the back of his mind.

“There are no stars. The moon is not shining. There is a blue mist in the atmosphere.” The Deputy reported. “Something doesn't feel right.”

He moved on in his patrol car and noticed a man staggering along the road. Nothing to fear here, just the town drunk, Baron Fel. Looks like he will spoend another night in jail. When Panchy pulled beside Baron, he noticed something very strange. Baron was sober. Still not the sharpest tool in the shed, but he was coherent and shaken but no booze on the breath..

“Man, I am not ever going to drink again.” Baron had looked like he had seen a ghost and with all the stuff he takes, he probably thought he did. But strange nonetheless. “I have seen things man. Strange things. This place is not safe. You and Me are gonna die!!!!!!!!”

“Get in the car, Baron.: Deputy said in his authoritarian tone. “I have got a nightstick and a gun. No one is going to kill us.”

The wind started to pick up and the Blue mist turned red. Both men sitting in the car watching like a deer in headlights because at that moment, the brightest most shiniest light poured down on the small field.

“God is coming to get us.” Baron said as he knew he was right. “I hope you have said all your prayers.”

“I can't see.” Pjnacheviotz (spelling) said. “What the hell is going on.”

That is when the lights quit and it got dark again. They were hugging each other like two babes scared of the babysitter after what they witnessed. Nothing like this ever goes on in this quiet town of 500 or so, and these two men were scared poop,

“Did you just crap your pants.” Baron asked/

“I urinated on my self too, man.”.

“See, I am not crazy.” Baron justified himself.

“No, you are still freaking nuts but not because of this.” the goofy deputy said.. “I should call the sheriff. He frantically dialed the number and finally got a hold of his superior.

“This better be important.” Sheriff Champs said. “I was courting Helen and the darling chick quite proper.”

Click. The phone lost signal and all the electric in the car was disengaged. One single beam of light flashed down from the sky as what looked like a strange alien descended from the atmosphere. Baron and Panchevous could not help but get out and look on with utter amazement.

“Hello, My children, “ said the alien. “You have nothing to fear. Unless you fear giant metal poles going up your anus.”

“I have been to prison,” Baron said. “I have already done that.”

“My name is Dynasty and I am here to bring you great news..” The alien said/ “This town has a dirty little secret, and I can tell you who is the bad apple. I know who your killer is... His name is....”

Thats when Panchevitz shot the alien and poured salt on him only to see him melt away into bones and dust.

“No one is probing me.” the Deputy said.

“You are the killer.” Baron said. “You killed all those people.”

Thats when another gunshot rang through the air....


“What in the hell do we have here?” Lundy just looked on with amazement as the sun was rising over the mountain. “There was something strange going on here.”

“Yuck!” Onut said. “I keep stepping in this slime qand I do not recognize the bone structure of this creature.”

“It's salty.” Stonecutter said while taking another bite of the gruel and both Onut and Stonecutter looked on with disapproval. “What? Lundy never feeds me and I am hungry, growing boys have to eat.”

“Double murder?” Onut said. “Baron got shot and then Hemol must have seen it all out in his outhouse so the murderer must have lit a match, opened the door and threw it in there and he never had a chance.

Thats when the Sheriff stopped by to see what was going on. He stepped out of his car and spit on the ground. “Well, this is some strange age stuff going on here.” Champs said. “Rest assured we are going to find who caused all this mess.”

“It was a triple murder.” Onut just realized. “This slime and bones was salted to death. Here is the wallet I found, Batman.”

:”Interesting, his ID makes him look like a dork, but I cannot make out the alien script.” Lundy said. :Wait a minute...”

Everyone looked up and there was a small space craft just floating in the air. “Well, you don't see that every day.”

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!” Panchevitz ran through the area from out of nowhere. Now, noone knew what the hell was going on.”

“I killed the alien.” The Deputy muttered to himself. The paranoia was running wild on this one let me tell you. . “He was going to probe me... I cannot have that going on.”

“So you killed all of them.” Lundy was trying to make sense of what was happening. There was an alien invasion a murder, perhaps a triple murder and perhaps. a crazy deputy going nuts.

“No, the alien said he knew...” Panchevitz muttered nervously. “Then all hell broke loose. I only killed the alien/, I have no idea what is going on after that.”

“Well, there is no crime killing an alien.” l;undy said. “But, how do we know you are not lying.”

“Yes, I think I am going to have to question you downtown.” Champs said in his calm nice manner.”

“Stay away!!!!” Panchevits backed up and slowly backed away from the Sheriff. “I have seen things man. More than you care to know. The Ghosts are haunting me and I saw them all. Vikesfan, Gridguru...”

“Tell dad I said Hello.” Stonecutter said eating more of the melted flesh of Dynasty.

“I saw all the ghosts and they are pissed.” Panchevits said pulling out his pistol. “I do not want to hear them anymore.”

“Don't do it Panchy” Lundy said. “You have so much to live for. “okay, maybe you don't You are a loser, but I am sure someone loves you. I am sure prison will go so much better if you admit what you did.”

“I told you, I didn't kill all those people, and I am going to prove it opnce I am gone....” He pulled the trigger and left his brains all over the ground..

“Wow!” Lundy thought to himself

“I found another cryptic note, Lundy under the tree here..” Onut said in the midst of the shock.

"All Four... dead... Part of plan

Poor animals. They got the bad end of that deal!

This World has offically gone to hell.

Signed

The Duke"

"I don't think my stomach agrees with alien soup." Stonecutter ssaid ripping another one of out of this wrold proportions. "Now, that was a fart..."


Chapter 6

Have you been keeping up? Good! You have all your clues and you think you know who the killer is? That, my friend is very possible, however, you may have forgotten one. Happened last night. Poor bastard got hooked by a chain and was driven around like a mark martin checkered flag. All that was left was a skinned version of the happy go lucky town Barber Marty. Now, who in the hell is going to cut my hair? Marty was the only one in the town that could do it right. I am sujper pissed off,and I am starting to look like a damn dirty hippie. Marty would let me smoke pot with him too. Damn Hippie.

"Here is another note." Onut said.

"Oh my" the note said. "Signed, Jesse James"

"All these notes seem to have something in common, Boy Wonder." Lundy told his Robin costumed friend.

"Yes, yes they do." Onut said as they both looked at Stonecutter

"I am good." Stonecutter said. "I am not ready to fart yet.

Along Route 7, a car was broke down in the hot drenched sun and there is a man with his hood open trying to diagnose the problem with his automobile. There is smoke leaking from the radiator and his shirt is soaked with perspiration. There is a truck that pulls over because the people of Pinto are friendly folk and this man needs help.

"Having troubles there stranger." The guy had a chaw in his mouth and spit toward the broken down Prius.

"It doesn't seem to want to work." The stranger was wearing a dirty dress shirt and his business tie was sitting on the ground.

"Oh, my." The man in the truck said. "You have one of those high falooten cars that use a computer and electricity."

"My name is Dropkick Fluties." The stranger extended his hand for a friendly handshake.

"Isn't that the name of a band?" the guy licked the spit off his lip as he got out of his car. "My name is My name is Third and Long"

"That's an interesting name." Dropkick said. "Why do they call you that?"

Third pulled down his pants and showed him. "Let's just say the Lady's love little third."

"If i am going anywhere with you, you are going to have to pull your pants up." Dropkick got into his truck and away they went to Jokers Wild Hotel and Garage.

Time passed by and there was a storm brewing. The clouds were gathering and thunder was rumbling wanting to call on full out lightening blasts. The weathermen were calling for tornado warnings but the area hardly ever gets a tornado. The last one we all were not even a drop in out Daddy's jeans.

"There is a strong one coming." Cousin Mike Raphon warned Lundy who was walking in front of his house. "You all might want to get on and get home."

"We are headed that way but there is something we need to check out in your barn." The wind picked up as Lundy's bat cape flapped above his head.

"I have nothing to hide." Mike told the fake crusaders. "Go ahead."

The rain started to fall and they were getting their fancy superhero costumes wet. they quickly went into Mike's barn and the day sunny skies turned into night stormy clouds as the lightening, wind and rain reigned supreme.

"Anyway," Lundy said. "This will be adequate shelter while we look for more clues and what is going on around here. Onut what do we have so far."

"These notes are indeed strange, but there seems to be a common thread." Onut said. "What do you think we are going to find in this barn. You don't think Mike is the killer do you?"

"Of course not." Lundy said. "But this is the exact location of the next murder if I add it all up correctly. The other locations set up a pattern and I am afraid Mike will be the next victim."

"Ahh, so we are here to protect him." Onut said.

"Yes, and possibly catch the killer." Lundy said. "Why do you think I had Mom watch Stonecutter. Much too dangerous for boy."

"I just hope we are right...."

"Oh you are right about the location." It was a menacing voice as a chainsaw cranked and a tall shadow of a man kicked down the barnyard door revving up the Poulan chainsaw. "But both of you are wrong about the victims..... You are next, dynamic duo!!!!!"

Meanwhile at Lundy's mom...

"Whats wrong, Stonecutter," Lundy's Mother asked? 'Did you fart?"

"Hell no!!!" Stonecutter screamed. "I sh-- my pants."

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Last edited by springles on Wed 03.02.2011, 11:13, edited 4 times in total.

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PostPosted: Mon 02.14.2011, 15:55 
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Chapter 7

The rain is pouring down. The lightening is striking and thunder is collapsing and oh yeah, there is a psycho maniac welding a chainsaw in the pouring rain. Batman and Robin are hugging each other like a couple of scared kitty cats. The tall laughing killer is getting closer.

Image

Lundy smacked the masked chainsaw man in the head. he just shook it off. In fact, I think it just made him kinda mad, not like he wasn't mad before. He was clumsily swinging that chainsaw around like a crazed lunatic. Thats when Robin took a chair and.....

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The shovel kind of fazed the chainsaw massacre and the caped crusaders were starting to get a bit concerned. that is when Robin took his fist upside the killers head.

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"Woah, Robin." Lundy told Onut. "That was one Pow too many."

The masked villain was a tough match and well he even got a couple shots in...

Image Lundy said.

It kinda hurt when the chainsaw masked villian used the chainsaw to cut off his left arm. But, don't worry abouit our heroes yet. They got in a few punches too

Image

But then after a while, the caped crusaders just could not compete with a chainsaw..... Robin was the first to go....

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Batman was a wuss and well, he could not put up much of a fight after-wards.....

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The Heroes were dead.


The next morning came as it normally would as the sun came up and the roosters crowed, the farmers slopped the hogs and miked the cows and the Sheriff resumed investigation of the Murders.

"Chopped down by chainsaw." Champs said. "What a shame."

The knock on the barn door scene of the crime brought a stranger from a strange land. He showed the Sheriff his FBI badge and was appointed this case from the Bureau itself. "My name is Fluties, sheriff and your little Mickey mouse police department is officially off the case. I am taking over before anybody else gets killed."

"Well, we could use all the help we can get," Champs said showing yet another strange note this time signed by Black Bart.

"You don't seem to understand, sir." Dropkick told him. "You are no longer allowed to investigate. In fact. i have a pretty good idea what is going on around here..." He winked at the lawman.

Batgril busted through the open barn door and screamed.....

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And he commenced to fart again....

"Excuse me." Stonecutter said.

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Last edited by springles on Wed 03.02.2011, 11:12, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Tue 02.15.2011, 17:05 
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y did tony_holm send me a pm saying he murdered me w/ a link 2 this thred? o_O

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PostPosted: Tue 02.15.2011, 17:35 
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I'm hoping you are just trying to be funny and made that up.

If not, that wasn't cool at all since it pretty much ruins the game before it even started.


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PostPosted: Tue 02.15.2011, 18:19 
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StoneCutter wrote:
I'm hoping you are just trying to be funny and made that up.

If not, that wasn't cool at all since it pretty much ruins the game before it even started.


Haha, there's no way I'd do that, homie :P C'mon bro gimme a lil' credit ;)

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PostPosted: Tue 02.15.2011, 18:20 
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Ok. I saw that and thought damn, there goes the game. Then I figured you were just screwing around. Glad it was just a joke.


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PostPosted: Wed 02.16.2011, 12:11 
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It was just a joke, although not that funny of one.

Anyway, the story will either start tonight or tomorrow. When it does start I will send out a mass PM to everyone. If people want I can send reminder PM's after each chapter. Let me know if you would want that.

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PostPosted: Thu 02.17.2011, 20:26 
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Quick question- Are you going to post when people make a wrong guess...I always thought that was to big of a hint. Let them live or die in the story but keep who has guessed hidden. basically the only hints are in the story.

just my :twocents:

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Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn :slug:


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PostPosted: Thu 02.17.2011, 21:12 
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jstr2112 wrote:
Quick question- Are you going to post when people make a wrong guess...I always thought that was to big of a hint. Let them live or die in the story but keep who has guessed hidden. basically the only hints are in the story.

just my :twocents:


ive never noticed that in the past (maybe ive always guessed too early) but yeah thats a good poing....

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PostPosted: Thu 02.17.2011, 22:39 
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Chapter One

The headlights flashed as the engine revved louder and louder. These country roads get eerily spooky after the sun goes down. The man was running from the car. Who knows why or what was happening? All the man knew was that he was fishing in the local pond and stayed out just a bit too late, and now; he was being chased by a souped up Ford Fusion in the dead cold air. The old fat man was running with all that his geriatric body would allow but the spooky car would always get closer and closer. He found a creek to duck out of the holler and he was for a moment, safe. Or so he thought…

Welcome to Pinto, he friendliest town in the South. Why the folks around here will invite any old stranger in their house to have a helping of supper, because it is just what they do. Even though the people are nice, nothing ever seems to go on around here, you know, because the people are so nice.

“I love fishing, Pop!” said the little boy.

“Shut Up you little turd.” The older gentleman took a swig of whiskey from his coca cola bottle. “I never wanted you but your whore of a mother didn’t want an abortion. The child support alone is killing me.”

“I love you Dad!”

“I told you not to call me Dad. I am Mr. Gridguru to you; you little freak, and for god sake, take a shower, Stonecutter. I never understood why your mother named you that it’s a stupid f---n name.”

“I know you are just saying that because you are drunk, Dad!” Little Stonecutter noticed a strange smell coming from the creek.

“Jesus son, if you have to go, go in the bushes.” Grid said taking another hit from his cigar. “You need to borrow some of that high powered douche from that whore of a mother of yours and gently apply to your arse.”

That’s when they noticed the body hanging from the tree with a timing chain around his neck.

“That is awesome!” Stonecutter said.

“Quit poking the body with a stick.” Gridguru warned his son. “You will get herpes or Aids or something.

A car came by as soon as they heard the news. It looked like a cross between a bat and a 1969 Chevy Camaro. Two costumed freaks jumped out of the car to calm the folks down.

“Calm down, everybody, Batman and Robin is here to figure this one out.” Batman said coming out of the passenger side.

“I love driving and I am only 16” The nerd in the Robin costume said. “Thank god, you got that DUI and lost your license Lundy or you would not even need me.”

“I know not of this Lundy you speak of.” Lundy said in his batman mask.

“If you guys are here, who is running the comic book store, you nerds?” Gridguru asked. “Onut, you look gay in that robin outfit and Lundy, you look like a douche.”

“Can I have your autograph?” Stonecutter said to the bat man. “I loved that last movie you were in. So, what brings you to Pinto?”

“Yeah, what brings you here” Grid asked the dweebs. “It’s not Halloween”

“Obviously, there has been a murder and we are here to solve the case.” Lundy said.

“Holy beatdowns, batman!” Onut said. “Look at these marks on the body. Looks like he was beat with the timing chain before they hung him with it.”

“Elementary, my dear, Robin… Only the Penguin is this diabolical.” Lundy said and that’s when the big man in the county made his presence known. The sirens were loud and direct. It was Sheriff Champs to put a hold on this amateur investigation. He stepped out of his police car and walked around a bit, sniffed the body and was shocked beyond belief.

“Oh, Mrs. Vikesfan is not going to like this at all.” He radioed into his Deputy Panchevitz” Pancheivous…”

“That is not my name!” the Deputy answered.

“Whatever! I need you to notify the next of kin that Vikes fan 4 life is no longer a vikes fan.” Sheriff Champs told him.

“Over and out.”

“We are on the case, Sheriff.” Lundy told Che sheriff.

“I will take it from here, don’t y’all have a dungeons and douches tournament to get to. Let the professionals handle this.”

“Hmmm, what do we have here?” Onut said picking up what appears to be a note taped to the forehead of the victim
“I will take that.” Champs grabbed the evidence and read it aloud. “This is not the first and won’t be the last. Signed William Cody.”

“I don’t know a William Cody” Robin said. “What could this mean?

“I wonder.” Lundy said.

“I may need some help on this case. You, two are hereby deputized.” Sheriff was puzzled and confused. “Who goes by that name?”

“I farted!” Stonecutter laughed.

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PostPosted: Thu 02.17.2011, 22:53 
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:lol: GG is SC's daddy!

*goes back to reading*


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