<Dr. Nicks impersonation> Hello everybody!
Jim PM'd me to gauge my interest in taking over Kleetz team. As I perused the league's rosters, I finally settled my gaze upon the JBG Jesus in Kleetz. A proud ensemble, a compilation of several years of blood, sweat, and toil. As I scrolled down the names.... Matt Schaub (okay, I can work with this)... Steve Johnson (wonderful, great upside in Buffalo)... Mike Tolbert (beautiful sleeper, well played JBG)... Steve Smith (okay, you're starting to lose me here)... Ronnie Brown (okay really, what the hell is going on)... Brady Quinn (no, please, someone tell me this is a joke)... Julius Jones (dear god! have your leaguemates raped and pillaged your team?).
As I finished reviewing the roster, my spirits defeated by the agonizingly anemic squad, a warm and bubbly feeling washed over me. Was it because I was using my laptop in the shower? Nay! I declare that as I stood there, viewing the ruins of what was maybe once a proud franchise, I had a visceral inclination that I could bring this downtrodden team back to the heights of greatness that it once aspired to reach! I could bring this team back to life like a phoenix, re-animate it like Frankenstein, while exclaiming at the top of my lungs, "It's aaaaaaliiiiiiveeee!!!!!"
It could take months, even years, to clean up the mess of my forefather. But I am willing to do it. Should you give me the opportunity I will search the rubble for any survivors, clear the demolished remains, and re-build an empire that is twice as strong... and dammit I will never let them build a mosque over it!