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There are two types of Fantasy Football Owners: Sharks and Chum, which are you?
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PostPosted: Fri 08.12.2011, 09:27 
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bmccomac wrote:
SnakeStabler wrote:
jcm wrote:
Thanks to a generous donation from HawgMaws, I actually do have enough sands now. :party-smiley-050:

If your smart...you might want to have Hawg help you out in this league, if you gain this team! :twisted:


JCM immediately replied when JBG's team became available and seems genuinely interested.

Everyone ok with this?



He does seem eager and I'm willing to give him a shot.

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PostPosted: Fri 08.12.2011, 10:34 
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<Dr. Nicks impersonation> Hello everybody!

Jim PM'd me to gauge my interest in taking over Kleetz team. As I perused the league's rosters, I finally settled my gaze upon the JBG Jesus in Kleetz. A proud ensemble, a compilation of several years of blood, sweat, and toil. As I scrolled down the names.... Matt Schaub (okay, I can work with this)... Steve Johnson (wonderful, great upside in Buffalo)... Mike Tolbert (beautiful sleeper, well played JBG)... Steve Smith (okay, you're starting to lose me here)... Ronnie Brown (okay really, what the hell is going on)... Brady Quinn (no, please, someone tell me this is a joke)... Julius Jones (dear god! have your leaguemates raped and pillaged your team?).

As I finished reviewing the roster, my spirits defeated by the agonizingly anemic squad, a warm and bubbly feeling washed over me. Was it because I was using my laptop in the shower? Nay! I declare that as I stood there, viewing the ruins of what was maybe once a proud franchise, I had a visceral inclination that I could bring this downtrodden team back to the heights of greatness that it once aspired to reach! I could bring this team back to life like a phoenix, re-animate it like Frankenstein, while exclaiming at the top of my lungs, "It's aaaaaaliiiiiiveeee!!!!!"

It could take months, even years, to clean up the mess of my forefather. But I am willing to do it. Should you give me the opportunity I will search the rubble for any survivors, clear the demolished remains, and re-build an empire that is twice as strong... and dammit I will never let them build a mosque over it!


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PostPosted: Fri 08.12.2011, 11:14 
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please vote for either JCM or mkurylowski to join our league

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PostPosted: Fri 08.12.2011, 11:45 
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Dear Honorable League Members,

As you consider your vote, please hold this image in your mind.

Image

This is somebody's child. He may not have grown up in the good ole US of A, but he sure does have an insatiable appetite for Fantasy Football. His dream is that one day every person in the world will have at least 5 fantasy teams. Could you say no to mkurylowski, and deny this poor little boy of his dream? Maybe I wasn't raised in the sub-saharan plains of Africa, but I do know this... this young boy needs your vote. Vote for freedom, vote to stop the fantasy football hunger.... VOTE MKURYLOWSKI!

Thank you for your time.
- Martin


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PostPosted: Fri 08.12.2011, 11:56 
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mkurylowski wrote:
Dear Honorable League Members,

As you consider your vote, please hold this image in your mind.

Image

This is somebody's child. He may not have grown up in the good ole US of A, but he sure does have an insatiable appetite for Fantasy Football. His dream is that one day every person in the world will have at least 5 fantasy teams. Could you say no to mkurylowski, and deny this poor little boy of his dream? Maybe I wasn't raised in the sub-saharan plains of Africa, but I do know this... this young boy needs your vote. Vote for freedom, vote to stop the fantasy football hunger.... VOTE MKURYLOWSKI!

Thank you for your time.
- Martin


Please don't steal pictures of my children and use them to try to gain sympathy votes for yourself. I may not have seen little click-clock-click-click since he was a baby, but I'm certain that he would want me to get this team.

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PostPosted: Fri 08.12.2011, 12:17 
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You two are funny. This should be interesting.

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PostPosted: Fri 08.12.2011, 12:20 
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I have stated my case, folks. Would you rather reward my brazen exploitation of an African child, or JCM, a man who names his child Click-Clock-Click-Click and then abandons him?


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PostPosted: Fri 08.12.2011, 13:04 
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is this a public vote?

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PostPosted: Fri 08.12.2011, 13:13 
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mkurylowski wrote:
I have stated my case, folks. Would you rather reward my brazen exploitation of an African child, or JCM, a man who names his child Click-Clock-Click-Click and then abandons him?


I abandoned him to come to the U S of A to give myself a better life as a nut farmer. I have always supported Click-Clock-Click-Click anonymously by regularly sending him a supply of mixed nuts Image. If it wasn't for me, little Click-Clock-Click-Click wouldn't be who he is today.

This world is rough and if a man's gonna make it, he's gotta be tough. And I knew I wouldn't be there to help little Click-Clock-Click-Click along. So I gave him that name and I said goodbye. I knew he'd have to get tough or die. And it's the name that helped to make him strong. And I know he hates me, and he's got the right to give you the team. And I wouldn't blame him if he did. But he ought to thank me, before I die, for the gravel in his guts and the spit in his eye cause I'm the son-of-a-gun that named him Click-Clock-Click-Click.

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PostPosted: Fri 08.12.2011, 13:36 
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+1,000,000 for the 'boy named sue' reference! !!!!!!!




jcm wrote:
mkurylowski wrote:
I have stated my case, folks. Would you rather reward my brazen exploitation of an African child, or JCM, a man who names his child Click-Clock-Click-Click and then abandons him?


I abandoned him to come to the U S of A to give myself a better life as a nut farmer. I have always supported Click-Clock-Click-Click anonymously by regularly sending him a supply of mixed nuts Image. If it wasn't for me, little Click-Clock-Click-Click wouldn't be who he is today.

This world is rough and if a man's gonna make it, he's gotta be tough. And I knew I wouldn't be there to help little Click-Clock-Click-Click along. So I gave him that name and I said goodbye. I knew he'd have to get tough or die. And it's the name that helped to make him strong. And I know he hates me, and he's got the right to give you the team. And I wouldn't blame him if he did. But he ought to thank me, before I die, for the gravel in his guts and the spit in his eye cause I'm the son-of-a-gun that named him Click-Clock-Click-Click.

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PostPosted: Fri 08.12.2011, 13:49 
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honingskills wrote:
+1,000,000 for the 'boy named sue' reference! !!!!!!!




jcm wrote:
mkurylowski wrote:
I have stated my case, folks. Would you rather reward my brazen exploitation of an African child, or JCM, a man who names his child Click-Clock-Click-Click and then abandons him?


I abandoned him to come to the U S of A to give myself a better life as a nut farmer. I have always supported Click-Clock-Click-Click anonymously by regularly sending him a supply of mixed nuts Image. If it wasn't for me, little Click-Clock-Click-Click wouldn't be who he is today.

This world is rough and if a man's gonna make it, he's gotta be tough. And I knew I wouldn't be there to help little Click-Clock-Click-Click along. So I gave him that name and I said goodbye. I knew he'd have to get tough or die. And it's the name that helped to make him strong. And I know he hates me, and he's got the right to give you the team. And I wouldn't blame him if he did. But he ought to thank me, before I die, for the gravel in his guts and the spit in his eye cause I'm the son-of-a-gun that named him Click-Clock-Click-Click.


agree. that was good.

this is a vote by league members and you should pm me your choice. I will close voting tomorrow by noon.

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PostPosted: Fri 08.12.2011, 13:51 
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jcm wrote:
mkurylowski wrote:
I have stated my case, folks. Would you rather reward my brazen exploitation of an African child, or JCM, a man who names his child Click-Clock-Click-Click and then abandons him?


I abandoned him to come to the U S of A to give myself a better life as a nut farmer. I have always supported Click-Clock-Click-Click anonymously by regularly sending him a supply of mixed nuts Image. If it wasn't for me, little Click-Clock-Click-Click wouldn't be who he is today.

This world is rough and if a man's gonna make it, he's gotta be tough. And I knew I wouldn't be there to help little Click-Clock-Click-Click along. So I gave him that name and I said goodbye. I knew he'd have to get tough or die. And it's the name that helped to make him strong. And I know he hates me, and he's got the right to give you the team. And I wouldn't blame him if he did. But he ought to thank me, before I die, for the gravel in his guts and the spit in his eye cause I'm the son-of-a-gun that named him Click-Clock-Click-Click.


Peanuts?!? PEANUTS?!?!? I found a more recent photograph of Click-Clock-Click-Click, and I could describe the emotional significance of what was occurring... but pictures speak 1,000 words.

Image

You may not recognize him, as the years have been unkind to this young warrior, but that is your son. Sure, he has grown out a Samuel L. Jackson on his face and sprouted a couple of chesthairs, but his ascent into young adulthood doesn't make it any less emotionally traumatizing every time he sees a peanut. If this young man could speak English, I'm sure he would cry out, "I'm tired of these mother f***in' peanuts, in my mother f***in' village!".


Vote for Fatherhood. Vote Mkurylowski.


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PostPosted: Fri 08.12.2011, 14:41 
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mkurylowski wrote:
You may not recognize him, as the years have been unkind to this young warrior, but that is your son. Sure, he has grown out a Samuel L. Jackson on his face and sprouted a couple of chesthairs, but his ascent into young adulthood doesn't make it any less emotionally traumatizing every time he sees a peanut. If this young man could speak English, I'm sure he would cry out, "I'm tired of these mother f***in' peanuts, in my mother f***in' village!".


Vote for Fatherhood. Vote Mkurylowski.


Click-Clock-Click-Click actually learned english by reading the ingredients labels on all those jars of mixed nuts that I sent him.

Image

Now could you really live with yourself if you denied Click-Clock-Click-Click his dream? Hasn't he been through enough already?

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PostPosted: Fri 08.12.2011, 15:08 
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As much as I would love to continue the comedic storyline of young Click-Clock-Click-Click, I'm afraid that my lack of adobe photoshop and awful MS Paint skills limit my capacity to do so. I'll discontinue the jokes here, and applaud my counterpart for his efforts. I respect the decision of this league's voters, and hope they come to a decision that satisfies me, and only me.

Now I must go, I have to take my medication. I have a horrible disorder where I murder thirty kittens whenever I am disappointed. Luckily the pills keep me... wait where did I put them... oh there they are... what? no more? I could have sworn I refilled the prescription... oh god the purring... it's happening again.... MEOWWW MEOWWW ahhhhhhh


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PostPosted: Fri 08.12.2011, 16:18 
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I think they're both great.... funny stuff


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