Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the 1st annual Shark Tank Fantasy Awards. I would like to start off by thanking all those that placed their votes and added their two cents on the message boards. There are a lot of great comments and arguments in those posting and that has led me to make a few changes to the structure of these awards next season. What are those changes going to be you ask? Glad you asked!
First off, next season you will have more of a say in who is nominated for these awards. I will list out the categories and then all the reader will be able to send me your recommendations for nominees. Once those votes are tallied up I will post the top three vote getters and let you decide who should be the winner. I noticed that there were quite a few worthy write in nominations for players that I simply didn’t even think about. Seeing as this leaves out some potentially worth candidates I will turn that task over to you, the readers.
Next on the list of changes is the giving of actual awards. That is right, awards. Can you imagine the look on a players face, the joy, the pride, and the illation when he receives his “Guy Smiley” Big Mouth award! I am sure that they will be pacing frantically by their computers waiting for the winners to be announced. What type of award I will be giving the winners is still up for grabs. Maybe a trophy, T-Shirt, or a various trophies that relate to the award category. Does anyone know how much it costs to ship an anvil?
But enough about next years contest…lets get on with the show and meet our two presenters for our first category “The John Wayne Award”, Paris Hilton and Ron “The Hedgehog” Jeremy! (No dialog needed, you can imagine what would be said!)
The Winner of the “John Wayne Award” for the grittiest field general this season goes to….
Brett Favre of the Green Bay Packers with 53% of the vote (30)
The next two presenters for the “Ace in the Hole” Award will be this year’s Champion at the World Series of Poker, Chris Moneymaker and Lemmy Kilmster of Motorhead!
The Winner of the “Ace in the Hole” Award for the player most likely to single handedly change the course of a game this season goes to…
Donte Hall of the Kansas City Chiefs with 52% of the vote! (27)
The next two presenters for the “Mr. Reliable Award” will be Enron’s former CEO Kenneth Lay and the one time queen of home improvement Martha Stewart!
The Winner of the “Mr. Reliable Award” for the player most likely to produce week in and week out this season goes to…
Priest Holmes of the Kansas City Chiefs with 69% of the vote! (36)
The next two presenters for the “House Arrest Award” will be the King of Pop, Michael Jackson and every ones favorite shopper Wynoa Ryder!
The Winner of the “House Arrest Award” for the defensive player most likely to lock down the opposing teams offense goes to…
Ray Lewis of the Baltimore Ravens with 97% of the vote! (47)
The next two presenters for the “Double-Double with Cheese” Award will be one women that needs to eat a few and one that looks like she has had one to many, the star of HBO’s “Ally McBeal”, Calista Flockhart and Anna Nicole Smith!
The Winner of the “Double-Double with Cheese” Award for the biggest double threat in the NFL this season goes to….
LaDainian Tomlinson of the San Diego Chargers with 80% of the vote (41)
The next two presenters for the “Guy Smiley” Award will be Steven Tyler of Aerosmith and Mick Jagger of the Rolling Stones!
The Winner of the “Guy Smiley” Award for the biggest mouth of the year goes to…
Warren Sapp of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers with 57% of the vote (29)
The last two presenters of the evening will be announcing the winner of the “Young Gun” Award. Please welcome Jon Bon Jovi and Kether Sutherland!
The Winner of the “Young Gun” Award for the rookie player with the largest impact goes to…
Anquan Boldin of the Arizona Cardinals with 55% of the vote (29)
That is it for this years award ceremony! Look forward to seeing you next season and thank you again for your comments, criticisms and support!