Wednesday - Apr 24, 2019

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Almost Sidelined By a Blizzard

Despite my blunder rolling with Anquan Boldin this week who was more of a liability than an asset, my team needs 14 points from Mike Vick to reach the super bowl of my league. Some owners asked what arrangements I had made to get the game postphoned to the first Tuesday night game since 1946.  I merely picked up the phone and made a call. Below are some excerpts from that call if it happened at all:

Sarmento: Hello Roger… Yeah it’s me again, I need a favor.  I can’t get enough points from Mike Vick if he is playing in a blizzard.

Goodell: Mike, I’m sorry I am still working on that text messaging deal. What is the league going to say if I move the game?

Sarmento: Move it ROG, The San Ramon Sasquatch are thinking championship this year.

Goodell: I’m very busy with the Ryan foot video right now. Wow… She looks hot for 50.

Sarmento: Snap out of it. We have to make this happen. There’s some reports that the mayor of Philadelphia  has declared a state of emergency.

Goodell: She’s so naughty with her feet and she’s looking at me.

Sarmento: What’s the Mayor’s name? Can we call him and get him on conference call.

Goodell: She’s naughty… Nutter.

Sarmento: ROGER!!!!

Goodell:  Yeah his name is Mayor Nutter. I am Dialing now.  (ringing)

Nutter: Yeah.. Nutter Here.

Goodell: This here is Goodell. I need to know what’s the status of your blizzard?

Nutter: Oh it’s bad. I am at home watching this Ryan foot video… Wow that woman has arches.

Sarmento: Guys… Listen I need that game moved to Tuesday Night.

Nutter: Who the hell are you to tell me to move a game?

Sarmento: I am the President and General Partner of the San Ramon Sasquatch of the LAFL. I also am the Audibles guy.

Nutter: Oh, why didn’t you say so… Rog, you see her arches?  I think Tuesday is ok Roger. I have an audible of my own, back to the video.

Goodell: We haven’t had a game since 1946 on Tuesday night. I don’t know how people will respond?

Nutter: I told everyone to go inside by 2 p.m. so I could enjoy this video. Let’s just move it so I can get back to the video.

Goodell: NUTTER?

Nutter: Not yet, but if I watch this again…Yeah I’m here.

Goodell: I’ll call the owners right after this scene.

Sarmento: Thanks Roger!

Nutter: Nutter out.

Goodell: Goodbye.

Those who think that owners don’t make moves during the season, here is your wake up call.

All you need is a good Nutter, and an investigator like Goodell who likes to get to the bottom of things. When you have these kind of resources at your disposal, it is a little easier to make that blizzard game go away.

All kidding aside, the field in Philadelphia is still covered in snow.

The game could be very low scoring and full of turnovers. There are no gimme wins in fantasy football. Every player takes the field, and with that there is risk of injury. One would assume that 14 points(200 yards passing, and a TD) from Michael Vick is a lay up.

The chance still exists that the Eagles score in ways that don’t involve Vick. The bottom line is that we will have to watch the game.

Questions/Comments/Concerns to michaelfsarmento@gmail.com

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