You know football right? Sometimes I don’t know it all too well. Things happen during a week that puzzle even me. Good thing our friends at FanDuel.com have a contest that let’s you start fresh every week. Now you get a chance to walk out on that fantasy team who let you down.
Imagine what you would say to that team…
Guys, gather around here… I’m done with your fumbling issues, David Wilson. Your maturity as a player is equivalent to a Pop Warner mighty- might. I hear you talking. Those are just words to me. The fact is that I lost a week one match-up to a gal named Phyllis from work who fetches coffee for the big boss because you rolled a zero in week one.
She came to our draft armed with a draft cheat sheet that she made based on her husband’s favorite teams cross-referenced with prettiest uniform colors. Now the water cooler conversations are starting to become uncomfortable.
Tell me Dez Bryant, as incredible of a physical specimen as you are… Why couldn’t you shake the double team? Don’t you dare blame the pain that Tony Romo was in. He grimaced two touchdowns to Jason Witten.
What are you smirking at Lamar Miller? My Grandma could have used her lark scooter to muster 10 yards on 11 touches. The battery on that thing lasts all game, which is more than I can say for you.
Tom Brady doesn’t trust you Zach Sudfeld and neither do I. You were the camp darling who made every catch in camp and got our minds off the drama that involved the last tight end who’s not worth a name mention anywhere. You were supposed to be holding it down until Gronkowski got back. Seems you weren’t ready for the big leagues.
The real tragedy here is that you guys got paid to show me this crap. I’m not upset about it anymore.
My therapist helped me put together a plan that involves me telling folks that let me down and then moving on. Oh and that’s what I am trying to tell you.
I’m leaving. It’s not you, it’s me. I’m not going to accept your excuses anymore. I have made my peace with it.
The fantasy roller coaster is the highest of highs and lowest of lows. Brace yourself, It’s a bumpy road. Here are some things that I saw that can help fantasy owners avoid the bumps in week two in three specific games:
Browns @ Ravens
The Baltimore Ravens were way off the game plan last week. They had no business getting involved in a shootout with the Broncos. The fact is that they didn’t run well at all and they had to scrap the run game when they got behind. I think they will game plan this week to try and get some more balance.
That being said, look for rookie Marlon Brown to see some action. Look for Dallas Clark and Ed Dickson to get some work over the middle as well. The usual dink and dunk is on tap for the Ravens with Ray Rice as the center piece.
Look for the Browns to continue to get the ball to Jordan Cameron again this week and grind it out. I suspect that they will look to limit the number of passing attempts for Brandon Weeden. He slung it 53 times in week 1.
They stayed in the game a long time for a team that turned the ball over three times on interceptions. Look for Trent Richardson to see more than 13 carries this week.
I am high on…
1. Marlon Brown WR Baltimore – Jacoby Jones is hobbled and Torrey Smith will get lots of attention from Joe Haden. Start Brown as a nice flex play. He is a low end WR3 with plenty of upside. He’s a nice big target with adequate speed and good hands.
3. Trent Richardson RB Cleveland- If you have him you are starting him regardless of match-up. I think he gets 20 carries this week which may not equal huge yardage but a score is a real possibility.
4. Jordan Cameron TE Cleveland- I own him in every single league for a reason. Norv Turner made Antonio Gates a star and will find ways to get Cameron enough targets to shine. I like him even more once Josh Gordon returns.