Initially built by NASA to set lines for the Las Vegas casinos in the late 50’s (who do you think funded the Apollo missions? The government? It was the mob…), The Sin City Betbot 6000 calculated lines for over 30 years. The Betbot was given various upgrades through the years, not always with the best equipment, but he was very good at setting lines, and living the good life.
The Betbot was de-commissioned in 1990 after San Francisco destroyed Denver in the Super Bowl. The 45 point spread simply fried a number of the Betbot’s wires and he retired. The Betbot was discovered by Fantasysharks.com and retooled to give fantasy advice. He lives now to give his own unique, well cultured take on the NFL.The Sin City Betbot 6000 Presents is transcribed by Joe Petrizzi and Tom Walls because “typing.. .BZZT… is a dame’s job”.
It’s my favorite time of the year – when you – the Sharks, write an article for me!
We’re voting for fantasy’s MVPs and LVPs. Please … BZZZT… see the nominations below, and vote in the linked threads below!
Keep in mind, these nominations came directly from the Tank, there was no input from Yours Truly, or the two schlubs who transcribe these articles for me (Merry Christmas Messrs. Petrizzi and Walls, try not to break any limbs this Holiday Season, OK?). You don’t like the nominations, you can only blame yourselves, capiche?
Before we review the nominees, I want to wish the hundreds of thousands who read my words each week, a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. I would wish a Happy Hanukkah, but I’m a couple weeks late on that one. Some good news on the home front, Svetlana and I are back together again. She agreed to workout a little more vigorously (six days per week) to fight off the ravages of her age (26). She was only going 4 days per week before, and I was noticing some serious slippage.
On to the nominations!
Tom Brady – “
guy does more with shrunken up midget WR’s than any other QB in the league” – Stankweasels 3000
– “this waiver wire pickup has teams in the playoffs that otherwise had no shot in Hell.” – gridguru
Arian Foster – “
His value is tremendous. And the fact that he was a midrounder is even more valuable.” – bradysbombers
– “undrafted in 10 teamers, late round flier in almost all other leagues, Hillis has won our hearts and will win plenty of fantasy championships for his owners” – endzoneview
Dwayne Bowe – “
Finally showed the talent he has and single handed lead my team to a top seed in playoffs (Even if I was promptly beat)” – BussingMooShin
Andre Johnson – “
Lived up to his top 6 billing although he missed an entire game and played on one leg all season.” – bradysbombers
Roddy White –
Defenses know what the Falcons are going to do, they know who the ball’s going to, and they still can’t stop him.” – DELTA6TWO
– “Because he can do it all… he’s a one-man army.” – jnadke
Steve Johnson –
“While some may vote Roddy, he’s pretty much doing what was expected of him, but Steve Johnson is a real come out of no where success story. Un-drafted in every league, and he has Fitzpatrick for a QB! Just how he managed to outperform the likes of Welker, Jackson, Austin, Wallace, Fitzgerald & Boldin is beyond me.” – sport.nut
Hakeem Nicks –
“mid round pick, 1-2nd round production” – nicdolas
Antonio Gates –
It was the year of the TE this year in most drafts. Tons and Tons of good TE’s. But at the end of the day, only one TE stood among the rest. Antonio Gates. With his 10 TD’s to date, turns out he was the best of the bunch.” – krazeejb
Marcedes Lewis –
Jags took the car out of the garage on Sundays to a tune of 9 TD’s. Cheap too. MJD predicted his teammate would be a solid TE option this year.” – ATL Souljah Boy
Jason Witten –
“…STRONG finish.” – lancekyle
– “This guy really sucks.” – opewon. Well, then.
– The tank speaks for America:
“…go away old man.” – lancekyle. “Good bye, and good riddance” – DELTA6TWO
– Even when the tank sticks in to Cutler they hit Favre:
“I expected [Cutler] to get killed, but Favre’s demise was more foreseeable.” – neal123454
– “A borderline first rounder in most formats. Injury aside, his production was still terrible.” – bradysbombers
“DWill was completely unusable.” – neal123454
– “went from borderline 1st round selection, to handcuff for a 31 year old running back, to the waiver wire in about 8 weeks” – endzoneview
– Lots of backlash against the Rice nomination, which is why we vote. However, krazeejb sums up the LVP case nicely: “Rice was drafted in the top 3 in almost all the drafts. Needless to say, he disappointed owners by having a rough season. This cost many teams a shot in the playoffs. Eventhough he’s starting to heat up, it’s late for most of owners.”
Some nasty words for both
, but this is a two-horse race:
– No statistical arguments, mostly on account of the foaming at the mouth from the sharks. From Stankweasels 3000, who clearly had Marshall on his fantasy team: “DAMN YOU!” Also, gridguru notes: “such a waste.”
– For the succinct explanation, I turn to zodiak: “Not even rosterable and would’ve been taken at the beginning of the 2nd round at worst.” But for spite I add the following:
“If you drafted Moss as a decoy, bravo.” -krazeejb
“Ugh Randy just go away.” – BuzzingMooShin
As the sharks noted, lots of middling TEs around the league this year. Still, two stood out:
– “Went from Boom to Bust overnight.” – jnadke
Note that some sharks are sympathetic, and also still spitting on Favre’s grave: “This wasn’t his fault at all. Brett Favre‘s inability to play well mixed with offensive line issues killed Shiancoe’s season.” – bradysbombers
– zodiak posts a nice summary: “Drafted in the top 5-7 TE’s off the board. Ranked 26th and hasn’t missed a game.” There wasn’t much venom for Celek, even though most sharks “dont think anyone saw this coming.” – nicdolas
So long for now, and remember “Showgirls and gin my friends, showgirls and …BZT…gin.”