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Brain and Braun

Brain and Braun is an article written by two self-proclaimed experts on TV dramas, MP3 players, and Fantasy Football; Tom Braun (the Braun) and Chris Dolfi (the Brain). This is normally the part where we share with you the magazines, radio stations, and expert leagues we’ve played in…we won’t waste your time. Bottom line, when it comes to Fantasy Football, let us share the idiot mistakes we’ve witnessed (and made) in the past, and throw in some of the info that has worked for us.



The following is a conversation that actually took place at 9:18 PM, this past Monday night during the Carolina / Tampa Bay game, documented for you.  (None of the names have been changed to protect anyone…like a good Hollywood tramp, they figure any publicity is good publicity.)



Braun: Dolf, we are in the final few weeks of a lot of fantasy seasons, and there are some guys who are sitting pretty, and some guys wondering what they are going to do come playoff time.


Dolfi: Well in my experience… a lot of them just start drinking heavily.


Braun: And with good reason. But are there any ways, in your experience, to keep those guys involved, rather then slicing their wrists?


Dolfi: I definitely know what you’re saying. It sucks to be out of the playoffs, with more than a few weeks to go and nothing to really look forward too. Luckily, it doesn’t have to be this way.


Braun: How’s that?


Dolfi: There are tons of creative ideas that you can come up with to keep guys interest in your league to the end.


Braun: Can you give an example…and this time, unlike other times, keep it to less than 1000 words. (laughter)


Dolfi: Of course everyone wants to make his or her fantasy playoffs and fantasy bowl. But we all know that there are not more than a couple of teams in it. The rest of the people don’t have to miss the post-season fun.


Braun: Give me a suggestion.


Dolfi: Some leagues take the bottom handful of teams and put them together in their own playoffs. The winner gets to be crowned King of the Scrap, or whatever title of honor you’d like to give them.


Braun: (laughter) I guess it’s better to be that than king of nothing. Well that takes care of the top handful and bottom handful of teams…what do you do with the guys who were run of the mill?


Dolfi: I’ve had that exact same question come up in several leagues. And what I came up with to satisfy those folks was the MOTR City Classic.


Braun: What the heck does that mean…if you have Kevin Jones, you get an extra special prize? (laughter)


Dolfi: Let me guess… you have Kevin Jones?  Seriously though, the MOTR City Classic is for the teams that are Middle Of The Road. That way you can have every team in your league form some sort of playoffs.


Braun: Yea, that’s great. I like that everyone keeps playing…however, aren’t they already out of monetary prizes? If there’s nothing to play for, I know a lot of people who don’t want to waste their time.


Dolfi: God knows as a fantasy player, and someone who loves Vegas, I’d never suggest people play for nothing. And I’d never dilute the money from the real playoffs, either. These guys have already ponied up anywhere from a couple bucks to a couple C notes to be in the league in the first place. So it certainly won’t be a stretch to get them to risk the wrath of their wives by tossing in an extra $20 or $30 each…winner takes all.


Braun: What about guys who don’t like to play so much with the geld?


Dolfi: I’ve heard a group of people I once knew that hated gambling cash….so what they did was gamble draft picks for the following year. Take that MOToR City Classic. The winner of it, would get the losers 14th round pick. It’s not money, but it certainly has some value.  Heck, you could make it anything, play for a pizza or something.


Braun: Well, I’m not sure how many words that is…but it was a lot. Anything else you want to add?


Dolfi: Sure…it doesn’t have to be playoff game to keep everyone interested. You can still give out things like money for the highest score of the week. So even teams who aren’t ‘in it’ can still win cash on a week-to-week basis. You could schedule grudge match games just between you and your best buddy, just like a college bowl game. Heck, your imagination is the limit when it comes to keeping peeps interested right up until the season’s end. So you’re out of luck, Braun.


Braun: What do mean by that?


Dolfi: (laughter) Forget it, Braun.  Just pitch some of those ideas to the also-rans in your league and I bet you’ll find that the end of your playoff run doesn’t have to spell the end of your season.  And you can take that to the bank.

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