Tuesday - Jan 19, 2021

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Calling All Stars

Initially built by NASA to set lines for the Las Vegas casinos in the late 1950s (Who do you think funded the Apollo missions? The government? It was the mob …), The Sin City Betbot 6000 calculated lines for more than 30 years. The Betbot was given various upgrades through the years, not always with the best equipment, but he was very good at setting lines, and living the good life.

The Betbot was de-commissioned in 1990 after San Francisco destroyed Denver in the Super Bowl. The 45-point spread simply fried a number of the Betbot’s wires and he retired. The Betbot was discovered by fantasysharks.com and retooled to give fantasy advice. He lives now to give his own unique, well-cultured take on the NFL. The Sin City Betbot 6000 Presents is transcribed by Joe Petrizzi and Tom Walls because “typing … BZZT … is a dame’s job.”

Well – I bleeping jinxed the Denver Broncos last week. That makes the Andy Reid-led Kansas City Chiefs the only undefeated team left. That
won’t last, but it will last until the middle of November. The Chiefs have played some weak bleeping opponents. With upcoming games against Cleveland and Buffalo, I don’t see the Chiefs losing until November 17th, after a bleeping bye, against the Broncos. Reid is good at one thing (besides bridging the gap between a Cheesesteak and KC barbeque) and that’s winning after the bye. The next best chance
the Chiefs have of losing after that is a game in late December against the Indianapolis Colts. Nothing personal against Reid, but as I said before, Karma dictates that this guy cannot have a perfect season.

This is the most charmed season I’ve season in quite awhile
unless you want to count the Autumn of 1979, when I shacked-up for three months with TV’s Charo. My goodness, that truly was magic. I will tell you something; I learned to love the act of “trilling R’s” – Arrrrrrriba!


The New York Giants beat the Minnesota Vikings. The FCC should go after ESPN and the NFL for breaking numerous decency laws by broadcasting that. The Fox Network affiliate in Tampa, Fla. has had repeated occurrences of depravity on Sundays this year.

Brett Favre’s bloated ego floated above the parapet this week. A story was leaked that the St. Louis Rams, in a moment of desperation, contacted Favre asking him to come back to play for them. Favre declined. Now – who do you bleeping think released this stinky nugget? Certainly not the Rams; this story doesn’t make them look good. This has Bus Cook’s greasy fingerprints all over it. Brett Favre’s agent and enabler. Look, Cook has made some nice cashola for his clients, but perusing his client list, he needs to spend more time getting new clients, and not re-animating Favre’s career.

As I write this – I’m flying over Chicago (I spent the last few days in Miami, with Natasha), on my way to Minneapolis to discuss a line of Sin City Betbot 6000 stainless mixware with the procurement team at Target. I’m not a fan of shilling, and if a product is going to have my name on it – it better be high class and with a big price point, like my Natasha. Anyway, I’ll let you know how that meeting goes. The point is, I’m over Chicago now
and I was having fun watching this team, but losing

Jay Cutler

will bring that fun to an end.
Josh McCown

is taking the reins. Expect a lot more

Matt Forte

, but he can’t shoulder the entire load.
Michael Bush

will get more playing time, and hopefully the Bears defense can step up their game by creating short field opportunities.

This season was to be a litmus test for Cutler and the Bears; does he stay or go after this season? This injury not only hobbles the Bears for this season, but fogs a good decision on Cutler’s long-term status in the City of Broad Shoulders, deep dish pizza and the best steakhouse I’ve ever been to (Chicago Cut Steakhouse on LaSalle – have a dirty martini – tell ‘em the Betbot sent you).

NFC lines worth your time

Minnesota +9 vs. Green Bay – Getting nine points against a division rival in the Metrodome is quite delicious. What,
Christian Ponder

is going to get worse?

St. Louis +11 vs. Seattle – Again, it’s not like the Rams can play much worse without
Sam Bradford

. Consider this your wakeup call, St. Louis fans (who aren’t watching the World Series).


I am not going to get into a big discussion about the ending of the New York Jets-New England game. It was fitting that the Patriots got nailed by some obscure penalty, because I’m a firm believer that the “Tuck Rule” game was one of the worst miscarriages of justice in NFL history. But, Patriots-Jets was an October game that will likely mean nothing in two months, so let’s keep it in perspective. Oh, there’s a Boston team involved? Then let’s make it a big NFL conspiracy that highlights one fan base’s penchant for the melodramatic. Recently, the Red Sox lost Game 2 of the World Series because their pitcher threw the ball over the third baseman’s head. That’s like the most Boston way to blow a game, unless we are counting wild pitches.

Still, two months from now, when the Jets are fighting for their slot in April’s draft, and the Patriots are resting their starters against Buffalo, nobody will remember this game.

On the other hand, the Jets have been a pretty decent play this season despite not being very good at football. They are keeping most games close and getting lots of late-game help from the officials. So, while you may look at this and discount a couple of their gifted wins, coming from this team that is a big step forward.

As I noted above, the Denver Broncos finally lost. Fair enough. They are still going to paste the Kansas City Chiefs and win that division easily. I actually do like Kansas City a little bit – they are definitely a contender in the AFC. But with
Alex Smith

under center, I cannot realistically count on them against the top teams like Denver and Indianapolis. Of note, I have been a connoisseur of Andy Reid’s brand of blowing big games for many years.

I am liking the San Diego Chargers for a wild card spot, which is saying something given their division. But they are playing seriously good offense and that is saying something in this conference.

OK, now for some real decent plays:

Buffalo +11.5 over New Orleans – Yes, I know they are playing in New Orleans, but 11.5 points is pretty juicy for a Bills team that has been surprisingly frisky this year.

Jacksonville +16.5 over San Francisco – The Jaguars are terrible, but have you seen the 49ers this year? It’s not like they’re a juggernaut, especially travelling overseas and laying three scores.

So long for now, and remember, “Showgirls and gin my friends, showgirls and … BZT … gin.”

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