Initially built by NASA to set lines for the Las Vegas casinos in the late 1950s (Who do you think funded the Apollo missions? The government? It was the mob …), The Sin City Betbot 6000 calculated lines for more than 30 years. The Betbot was given various upgrades through the years, not always with the best equipment, but he was very good at setting lines, and living the good life.
The Betbot was de-commissioned in 1990 after San Francisco destroyed Denver in the Super Bowl. The 45-point spread simply fried a number of the Betbot’s wires and he retired. The Betbot was discovered by fantasysharks.com and retooled to give fantasy advice. He lives now to give his own unique, well-cultured take on the NFL. The Sin City Betbot 6000 Presents is transcribed by Joe Petrizzi and Tom Walls because “typing … BZZT … is a dame’s job.”
What do you mean I can’t get to work on time?
Got nothing better to do
What do you mean I don’t pay my bills?
Why do you think I’m broke? Huh?
“Betbot, you started last week’s column with rock lyrics!”
“Betbot, you keep going back to the same tricks”
“Betbot, we need more, more more …!”
Yes, last week’s column kicked off with rock lyrics from the 1980s. Yes, this week’s column also starts with lyrics from the 1980s. You know why? Because it’s appropriate for the theme of the column, that’s why. Sit back, close your eyes, and enjoy.
“Betbot, you told me to close my eyes. I can’t read when I close my eyes.”
Do you people need … BZZT … me to tell you everything? It’s an euphemism, for Sinatra’s sake.
Anyhow – Dave Mustaine was a close personal friend of mine. He’s not anymore. He’s gone completely off the rails with his political views, and I can’t bear to be near him anymore. And boy – he cannot shut up about the shabby treatment he received from Lars Ulrich (CPFOM* also) and James Hetfield.
*Editor’s Note: CPOFM = Close Personal Friend Of Mine.
I was, however a key ally in his fight against Tipper Gore and her cronies. If you remember – Gore wanted music to be censored, and Mustaine was a key advocate … BZZT … for free speech. I supported Mustaine in his fight. One of the things that always made me laugh was the mass album burnings that Gore’s allies held. I love it when old folks hold rallies! And…some folks held a rally in Jacksonville this past Monday. A rally for the team to sign
. The rally started at 3:16 p.m., and lasted 3 hours and 16 minutes (a reference to John 3:16 – which is not even a Top 20 Biblical verse). The Jaguars have a serviceable quarterback in Chad Henne
is not a serviceable quarterback. While Tebow may be a close second to Henne in talent, signing Tebow now would set this team back another 2-3 years. The Jaguars need to draft a quarterback next year with the No. 1 overall pick; take your medicine this year, Jacksonville. And don’t listen to the nutjobs!
I told you before the season started that
schtick would get old in Tampa Bay. I didn’t know it would only take two weeks. I also didn’t think that it would take two weeks for
to turn on the coach. According to reports, Revis is also complaining … BZZT … about the coach. Add the player discontent to the stupid game management at the end of a winnable game against the New Orleans Saints, and I see a very enjoyable year for columnists and beat writers in Tampa.
The NFC East – no one should get to go to the playoffs. What a lump of mush.
I love what
has done for the Arizona Cardinals – but they play the San Francisco 49ers and Seattle Seahawks four times – they won’t be making the playoffs. The Cardinals … BZZT… won an exciting game against the Detroit Lions, who lose Kardashian escapee
for some time. That loss hurts, but I think
can handle the load for a couple weeks.
The Seahawks and their manufactured crowd noise (the Seahawks’ AV guy turned the volume up to 11) looked great against the 49ers.
looked lost all game long – the Seahawks are a complete team, but they have to do a better job of protecting