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DIARY OF A FANTASY VIRGIN: Championship Weekend

It is Championship Weekend and I went 3-1 last weekend.  Not bad but not perfect.  Ah…prognostication is the folly of fools.  Just like timing the stock market my friends — it is a fool’s errand.  One of the differences in this case is that I am a fool and this freaking website is awesome so let us come along for a ride on the wild side.
I purposely delayed this article by one day because of Tom Brady‘s hand.  Do you know?  Do I know?  Does anyone know?  There is a side of me that finds this whole situation very, very, very Bill Belichick.  Just to let all NFL football fans know…Bill is playing chess and unfortunately the rest are playing checkers.  But that is OK because I have never in my life found so many New England Patriots haters since New England started winning and continually winning.  Don’t any of you remember the 1970s Steve Grogan Patriots?  And Steve Grogan was great!  One of the saddest but apropos situations in my life is that I live in New England but am not a New England fan.  It has to do with Stockholm syndrome but I am getting out my element. I will reveal that situation in the future.  It does involve JoJo Starbuck though…
But I digress.  We have games to get to and there is a situation at hand.  Literally!
And Then There Were Four
I predicted last week that Philadelphia and New England were going to face each other in Super Bowl LII.  All is well but is it?   There has been a huge vacuum suck of information surrounding New England Patriot quarterback Tom Brady and his injured hand. (thumb?, finger?, digits?)  Ahhh this reminds me of the Trojan War.  All information is about the right hand of Tom Brady.  I have not heard one thing about the other quarterbacks like Blake Bortles, Nick Foles, or Case Keenum.  Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!  Maybe if you analyze the statistics of Blake Bortles, Nick Foles, and Case Keenum you can derive a conclusion.  Uh Oh!  I am being played!  But this is a “I am not being played zone my friends” inclusive place.  Sometimes the virginator plays chess to keep the kids in check. Get my drift?  Let us proceed!
Sunday’s Games
In the first matchup on Sunday the Jacksonville Jaguars visit the New England Patriots.  Cast across the backdrop of quarterback Tom Brady and his right hand is all the rest of the stuff everyone is talking about.  What is intriguing is that Blake Bortles might actually not be as talented as backup New England quarterback Brian Hoyer.  I did just say that.  Really.  I did.  I am going to go in the opposite direction of this story.  Blake Bortles is going to be schemed much like Marcus Mariota.  I love Blake but are you freaking kidding me?  The story is the story.  A team from Jacksonville Florida comes to New England to deal with “the elements”.  It will be fine with the weather forecast for the 40’s.  Jacksonville lucks out.  But they are still going to get schemed.  Jacksonville has a great defense but can they win 10-3?  I do not think so.  The New England Patriots prevail…Brady or no Brady.
The second game sees the Minnesota Vikings visiting the Philadelphia Eagles.  In a crazy turn of events the Eagles with Nick Foles remind me of the New England Patriots with Brian Hoyer. It just doesn’t matter.  The Philadelphia Eagles’ defense rules the day.  The Minnesota Vikings defense is crazy awesome.  All is revealed in this game and what is creepy is that some weird special teams and defense rules the day.  I am thinking Philadelphia in a Nick Foles moment.
Master D.
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About Tim Davoll

Author of the Weekly Series "Diary of a Fantasy Virgin" since opening day of That particular date? It was September 12, 2002 when my first article was published on this site. It has been a great ride ever since.