Sunday - Sep 27, 2020

Home / Commentary / THE DIARY OF A FANTASY VIRGIN: Post Mortem


The NFL season has ended.  Well that happened, right?

Holy Schnikies. The Davoll ends the year with his usual questions and answers. As always the end of the NFL season is surreal. How did that happen? Where did the time go? What the heck is up with that? Welcome to reality.

Please. Everyone in the freaking world has to watch White Christmas by Irving Berlin.   The actors and talent and songwriter (Irving Berlin) are just a wonderful gift to society. But nonetheless it has come to pass that that we reveal riddle time!

2016 – Riddle Time

This year’s inquiry about the National Football League is where I try to ask the questions which need to be answered. Some will be answered early. Some will be answered late. In no particular order they are as follows…Remember I asked these questions in August 2016.

The future of the New England Patriots is being played out on a grand stage. Is it Tom Brady or Bill Belichik? 0-4 means Tom Brady. 4-0 means Bill Belichik. Why do I think it is somewhere in the middle?

The New England Patriots finished 3-1 with 2 QBs while Tom Brady was out of commission. Everyone at this point thought it was Bill Belichik.  The problem is that it is very much like Paul McCartney and John Lennon, they just both seem to work so well together that I cannot figure out the former from the latter.  And trust me I am not normal.

Is Tom Brady the “head” of the team? For if you cut the head the body will follow.

Tom Brady is undoubtedly the greatest QB in the NFL. And listen. I loved Terry Bradshaw. I loved John Elway. Heck. I loved Roger Staubach. The problem with the meme is that all QBs are the same…but when cast against reality they are not. Something is definitely up with Sir Thomas Brady.

Will TE Rob Gronkowski rank in the top 5 of all receivers?

Well that did not work out. Gronkowski was awesome after Week 4 but then he incurred a back injury on December 1. This means no “Gronk” for the Patriots postseason.

Will Colin Kaepernick be spoken of about his QB ability?

Colin Kaepernick … he lead his team to a solid 2-14 record and got his coach fired. Chip Kelly is out. Yikes.

Will RG III play more than 8 games?

RG III literally played 5 games. That is all I can say.

Will Chip Kelly’s offense translate to San Francisco?

Chip Kelly’s offense was so offensive that he was fired. The price is wrong Bob!

Will Rex Ryan last the season in Buffalo?

No. Rex Ryan was fired along with his brother on December 26th.

Will Commissioner Roger Goodell stay out of the NFL conversation for the first 4 weeks?

Yes. Yes he did.

Will Tony Romo’s absence sink the Cowboys?

Dak Prescott has made the Dallas Cowboys the #1 seed in the NFC…Enough said…WTF!!!!!

Is a broken Peyton Manning worth more than a rookie Trevor Siemian?

Yes…the Denver Broncos did not make the “Tournament” also known as the NFL playoffs.

Does Cam Newton forget and continue his magical regular season?

No. In the greatest weird question asked all year, Cam Newton and his team has somehow lost their way. They finished the year 6-10. What the what? The answer to the question is that he does forget.

I answered the questions…weren’t they fun?


God Bless America!

Irving Berlin was a wonderful American. Ha! I have to survive the next few paragraphs. So let us begin.

The problem with my life is that I think of “The Kinks” and their epic song “Father Christmas” … but that makes me a cheapskate. Then I think of Irving Berlin’s “God Bless America”.   Yes it is the same song that is sung at every professional baseball game. But what of the man?  Geez Louise the only conclusion that I can come to is that he is wonderful. He did write “White Christmas”…yeah…that little diddy sung by Bing Crosby! It actually happened.

Oh. This is only the first article this week. I get another looking forward.   Let us see how the NFL playoffs work out and we will write another article about the “Tournament”.

Tony Romo and the firing of Rex Ryan was worth the whole prediction…..don’t you agree?

Master D.

Tim can now be reached at and welcomes your opinions on the Diary of a Fantasy Virgin Articles.

About Tim Davoll

Author of the Weekly Series "Diary of a Fantasy Virgin" since opening day of That particular date? It was September 12, 2002 when my first article was published on this site. It has been a great ride ever since.