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The Diary of a Fantasy Virgin – Preseason Part II

Dust off the backpacks kids.  School is back in business and has been for a week or so.  The theory is you go earlier in preparation for the winter time off that is coming.  The point of it all is kind of absurd because if you go to school too early children find their environment unmanaged.  This usually results in warmish days in the high 80s leading to an early dismissal.  Oh, the nerve of it all.  But the draft is coming. But before I get into the draft, I have my Summertime headline.

The Summer Of “Deflategate”

It has come to pass that commissioner Roger Goodell has absolute power granted to him by Article 46 of the Collective Bargaining Agreement.  Who knew that you could use such a piece of negotiation to make the NFL the top of the headlines in New England all summer?

Here are the facts.

Footballs measured at the halftime of the Colts-Patriots Championship game on January 18th were under-inflated at halftime.  They were under-inflated for both teams.

A promise was made by the commissioner that there would be an investigation.  The subsequent investigation delved into how the footballs were under-inflated and who was to blame.  Anywhere from $1 million to $5 million dollars were spent on a document called the Wells Report.

The Patriots received a fine of $1 million dollars and were docked a 1st round pick in the 2016 draft and a 4th round draft pick in the 2017 draft.

Robert Kraft accepted this punishment and did not appeal.

Tom Brady received a 4-game suspension handed down by Troy Vincent.

Tom Brady appealed.

Roger Goodell heard the appeal and he upheld the ruling resulting in a Court Case that ruled in favor of Tom Brady.

The NFL is appealing the ruling.

Here are the Opinions

The Wells report found that it is more probable than not that Tom Brady was generally aware balls were being deflated in some kind of scheme.

The Wells Report abandoned science.  Specifically the ideal gas law which is Pv=nRT.

(As a side note I have done the math and it is sound.  An angle that I have not heard from and everyone doesn’t understand is that the device used to measure the pressure in the football is not calibrated for a life and death situation and therefore is probably anywhere from 1-5% off because of manufacturing error.  This is natural in a repeatable process because 1-5% error doesn’t matter for its intended purpose.)

Wherever you stand on Deflategate, I think we all agree we will be better off when it is behind us whenever that is.

No more Deflategate talk for you because the time is now fellow Virgins to get your act together.  I realize this section may be repetitive to some fans, but it bears repeating.  This section acts as a friendly reminder.  It is how to get your act together and form your fantasy football team.

In The Beginning …

 The draft is coming within a week from now for my league and the time has come to prepare.  The draft is scheduled for September 7th  at 7:00 PM.  It is quite simple, really.  Step 1, load your scoring system into FantasySharks.com.

Begin by sending a simple note to the person running your league.  Say something like this…”The Fantasy Sharks Virgin has asked me to ask you what the scoring system is in our league.  Please point me to the place where the scoring system is or you will be considered a low-rent Fantasy Football Commissioner.  Thanks.”  After you register for this site (if you haven’t already), take that information and follow these steps.

Go to My Fantasy Sharks –> Customize Fantasy Sharks To Your Leagues –> My Scoring Systems.  Next enter in all the information associated with the scoring system in your league.  Now click on  Projections –> Season Projections, click on Quarterback and voila, based upon last year’s stats and your league’s scoring system, the ranking of all Quarterbacks appear on your screen.  Now if you would like, continue through all the positions and take that information into your melon.

Buyer beware though because this is last year’s results and just like the stock market, past results do not a future make.  Next, print out the Printable Custom Cheat Sheet.  Now, and this is the brilliant part about fantasysharks.com, see what the heck the people who have been doing this for awhile do when they have to pick.  That means going to the 2015 All Positions Projections page.  These three references will prepare you for your selections on draft day.

The information is convenient, quick, and current.  It is information all to yourself and when you combine the All Positions Predictions page with your custom Scoring System, you are ahead of most.  You have just navigated the toughest road for now, you have all the information.  And when you have information, you have power.  Now comes the execution part.

The Execution

Be weary, fellow virgins, veterans, and others who don’t want to fit in to either category.  The draft is a mistress of folly.  Filled with good intentions, the results can leave you laughing in the streets or groaning in the alleys.  Scour the team’s websites of the top 30 players in each RB/WR/QB position.  That means 90 players and make sure they are not injured.  I suggest you pick the best TE and Defensive team after you have two or three Wide Receivers and a top Running Back.  Next map out a strategy of picks based upon points/player analysis/printable custom cheat sheet or some combination thereof.  Take a deep breath and … GO!

The Aftermath

The aftermath is your team.  Enter this team in to the following place on this website.  Go to My Fantasy Sharks –> Customize Fantasy Sharks To Your Leagues–> My Players and enter your players in.   For those returning to this area from last year, you can get a proper look at your team from last year and say goodbye.   Now you can take advantage of my next article.  My next article will go in to the steps needed to select the team you will play that week.  Go off and be merry, because projection tools are evil and reality is a long walk off a short board.  Your team will change so much due to injury, craziness, trades, and dumb luck that your last week may not resemble this moment in time.  But you have a friend to shepherd you through the valley of “playas.”  All of us are alone.  We might as well reach out and get through it together.  My diary entry is about the madness of it all.

Dear Diary

There is certainly madness to it all.  The draft.  The team. The League.  The schedule.  The ups.  The downs.  The wins.  The losses. The ties. All of it makes sense and since most of the time the players on your fantasy team do not play on the same team it causes and interaction with the NFL that is just maddening.

But all of us love it and with the season approaching we actually look forward to it.  Quite maddening really.

The next intense event on my schedule is the Fantasy Football draft.  So prepare using this site as your guide and make it through the day.  I wonder what my team will look like?

That is next week’s article.

Master D.

Tim can now be reached at tdavoll at fantasysharks.com and welcomes your opinions on the Diary of a Fantasy Virgin Articles or advice to help out your fantasy football team.

About Tim Davoll

Author of the Weekly Series "Diary of a Fantasy Virgin" since opening day of FantasySharks.com. That particular date? It was September 12, 2002 when my first article was published on this site. It has been a great ride ever since.