Thursday - Apr 25, 2019

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DIARY OF A FANTASY VIRGIN: Super Bowl Week 1

Then there were two.  I went 2-0 over the weekend.  Philadelphia won big behind the stylings of quarterback Nick Foles.  The Patriots proved again that they can win without tight end Rob Gronkowski.  I went 7-3 overall just like last year but this year I chose the two finalists oh just two articles ago.  Super Bowl Week 1 begins with how we got here.

The Jacksonville Jaguars vs The New England Patriots

Final Score New England 24 and Jacksonville  21.

This ended up being a silly game of hide-and-seek and why can’t I play in the 4th quarter for the Jacksonville Jaguars.  After starting out the game 3-0, the Jacksonville Jaguars put on an offensive clinic and defensive clinic.  It looked bad for New England down 14-3 late in the second quarter.  Then a delay of game penalty by Jacksonville later gives the ball to the Patriots.  Gronk goes out of the game which is more bad news and the Patriots manage to score a key touchdown with the help of a 32 yard pass interference penalty and put the game in a 14-10 manageable deficit.  Then the game stalled out and with only 3 points in the third quarter by Jacksonville.  Then 3 more early points in the fourth by Jacksonville and it is 20 – 10.

Jacksonville is hiding at this point because scoring was nigh impossible for New England.  Then Brady found a rhythm and Tom and WR Danny Amendola put the team on their backs for a touchdown for a 20-17 score.  Jacksonville refused to run the football in a key sequence and the two failed passes gave the ball to New England.  Amendola runs a return to inside the 30 yard line and another touchdown to Amendola put them on top 24-20.  Jacksonville had been caught.  After being caught they fought down to the New England side of the field but failed on a 4th and 14.  New England got a first down on a silly edge 8-yard run play that Jacksonville should have defended and the game was over.  It was Jacksonville’s game to win and they just wouldn’t.  The game seemed to speed up after they were down for the first time.  Very weird.  Keep your foot on the gas Jacksonville and you are in the Super Bowl. Did Atlanta teach you anything? The embarrassment of riches continues for New England.

The Minnesota Vikings vs The Philadelphia Eagles

Final Score Philadelphia 38 – Minnesota 7

The game started out with a wonderful drive by Case Keenum on the opening drive touchdown.  Yay!  Minnesota has 7 points.  That was no less than 4 minutes and 46 seconds into the game.  Then a two-and-out by Philadelphia and it is Case Keenum’s time to shine.  And on a 3rd and 8 on the very next possession, Case Keenum’s arm gets hit and he gives up a pick-6.  The game is tied at 7 with 6 minutes to go in the first quarter.  Not only did the air go out of the sails or arms of those longboats the Vikings were aboard, they never appeared again.  Never.  Quarterback Nick Foles does it all and more, and more, and more, going for 352 yards and 3 TDs.  It was Joe Montana-esque!

My diary entry is about my New Year so far.

Dear Diary

How have your spent your New Year so far?  Why am I talking about this right now?  Well I have been doing so much.  I have been to the Walt Disney World resort in Orlando.  My wife and I ran the marathon during the 25th annual marathon weekend.  Such a high! It takes time to train for a marathon.  It takes time to finish a marathon.  I finished a solid 7,455 out of 20,220 finishers.  Not so bad.  My wife and I run together so it is us out there running the streets so to say.   So I would like to thank everyone for their support as a marathon run is just a tough day.  For us it was 5 hours and 26 minutes and 52 seconds of craziness.  It really is crazy to run a marathon.  This was our 5th and final.  We will most likely retire to ½ marathons.  Those are actually fun!  Weird huh?

The second part I would like to talk about is the art of writing.  I know this may be boring but I have never seen it executed as well as the New Year’s Rose Bowl Parade.  No. Not the HGTV version where they talk about flora and fauna and more fauna.  I am talking about the 2018 Rose Parade hosted by Cord Hosenbeck (Will Ferrell) and Tish Cattig (Molly Shannon).

For 2 hours I witnessed in character the coverage of the parade wrapped around brilliant writing.  The key in writing is to have a throw away line and then have it come up in another circumstance.  Cord and Tish managed no less than seven of these over a 2 hour timespan!  It was done in a way I have never seen.  It was a 2 hour straight (without commercials) SNL skit.  It was so good that I watched it twice in a row.

I also enjoyed all the 1 star ratings and subsequent comments on Amazon.  Deception achieved!  Wake up from your slumber America!  This is Will Ferrell and Molly Shannon.  Do you not understand satire? This is my prescription for America in 2018.  Watch the 2018 Rose Parade Hosted by Cord and Tish.  You need to laugh!

The Patriots are in the Super Bowl again.  It is enough to torque even more and more people off.  So who will lift the Lombardi trophy?  I will break that down next week my friends.  At first blush is a question … “Is Nick Foles for realsies and does he have to be?”

Let me get my head around that one and report to you next week.

On a somber note this week I dedicate my article to my good friend Jack Kost of Plainfield, Indiana who died suddenly last week.  He was such a wonderful soul and he will be missed.  Miss you Jack.

Master D.

Tim can now be reached at tdavoll@fantasysharks.com and welcomes your opinions on the Diary of a Fantasy Virgin Articles.

About Tim Davoll

Author of the Weekly Series "Diary of a Fantasy Virgin" since opening day of FantasySharks.com. That particular date? It was September 12, 2002 when my first article was published on this site. It has been a great ride ever since.