Thursday - Feb 21, 2019

Home / Commentary / DIARY OF A FANTASY VIRGIN: Week 14


You have to win to get in. If you do not win it is a turn of luck for the tiebreaker. The tiebreaker is a tough way to determine your fate. But I accept whatever it brings like every year. So there are three ways to play the scenario of winning. I will outline each of them and the result of each this week. It usually only matters for a few players but these players are really important.

Three Times A Charm

There are three ways to win your week:

  • Play your opponent on same teams. If Jared Goff is your opponent’s quarterback, play wide receiver Cooper Kupp. When Goff throws a touchdown to Kupp it is effectively nullified.
  • Play your opponent in the game itself. If your opponent is starting Carolina and New Orleans players and if you have players on the same teams, play them as well. In this way, hopefully the time split between the players is uneven in your favor.
  • Run away and play your own game. I have found that this ends up being the most normal way to win. Because you can second guess yourself from the other two ways.

What did I do? I should have run away. I went with Cam Newton instead of Alex Smith and Smith went for 49 points. Carolina and New Orleans have gone for thrilling 50-49 games in the past but it did not come to be.

My record is 7-6 and I await the outcome of tiebreakers and luck.

In The End?

In my league it is an NFL style playoff system. It is a 10-team division. The Top 3 teams in each division make the playoffs with the top team getting a bye. The bottom line is that the final four teams play for the bucket bowl. This is also known as the best of the worst. This is ideal because any one can swoop in and win at the end of the year so there should be consequences in your league.

Well at the end of the line, I sneaked into the playoffs by finishing third in my division. This means on to the playoffs for the Virginator in 2017! Not bad for being picked last by the autobot after my draft.

My diary entry is of course about this holiday season.

Dear Diary

This holiday season brings struggles to my family as a loved one battles a tough disease. It is not a disease of the spirit or the heart but a disease of the mind. So instead of it being an affirmation of all things great in this world this holiday is a bittersweet reminder that all of us are not long for this world. When the head betrays the body it affects everyone around them.

So for me the piano will be a little bit somber but it will still play all the usual Christmas Songs. My family is grateful but still frustrated about the whole experience because there are good days and bad days. Lately the bad days have outnumbered the good ones. What is the measure of a half-life? It is no one person’s fault so with no one to blame what can you do? You trundle along.

But this is life so I embrace all the time left.

Master D.

Tim Davoll can now be reached at and welcomes your opinions on the “Diary of a Fantasy Virgin” articles.

About Tim Davoll

Author of the Weekly Series "Diary of a Fantasy Virgin" since opening day of That particular date? It was September 12, 2002 when my first article was published on this site. It has been a great ride ever since.