Wednesday - Sep 30, 2020

Home / Commentary / DIARY OF A FANTASY VIRGIN: Week 16


Christmas week is here. The year has flown by along with the season. Did you catch that outrageous Pittsburgh/New England Patriots on Sunday afternoon? My friends, what Pittsburgh did on Sunday is known as … “to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.” For certain teams and certain situations it becomes apparent that what seems to be the right move just wasn’t. And for some reason it seems to happen to New England. Let’s see … Seattle threw the ball on the 1-yard-line in the Super Bowl … and lost! When Atlanta was up 23-3 in the Super Bowl it chose to throw the freaking ball and give up three 2-point conversions to allow a tie … and lost! When New England tackled running back Le’Veon Bell in bounds and it was third down and Ben Roethlisberger fakes a spike and throws it late over the middle to only have it get tipped and intercepted … and a loss! What is up with New England and these crazy within the moment games? It was Tom Brady’s 51st comeback in his career. Fifty Freaking One!

Well it is the 16th week and the fantasy football championship is at hand. Let me go over the final two teams in my league.

The Fantasy Football Championship Is Here

In fantasy football you need four stud players out of eight. They have to perform and they probably will if you have gotten this far. What you need to put yourself over the goal line is a plus performance from ideally six of the eight players. A plus performance is when the fantasy football player exceeds their anticipated performance from the week Let’s look at the makeup of the final two teams in my league.

From the east in my two-league division is a team called Raider Nation run by my good friend and golf partner Darin. Darin and I have been golf partners for years. Now Darin received a plus performance from six of his eight players. Six! That put him over the top and the champion of the east.

From the west in my two league division is a team by the name of Heavy D. This team is run by another great golfing buddy Irv. Irv received also a plus performance from six players just like Raider Nation. The tough part is the team with the second best overall record is going to lose. They had only four players with plus performances. That is what lost him the opportunity to go to the championship.

Who will win? We will report it out next week. And then next week ends the fantasy football articles and begins the prognostication portion of the “Virgin” articles. We answer the questions from the beginning of the year and analyze teams and their chances for a Super Bowl this year.

But the real question is did I win and gain Glorious sixth place?

The Plus Performance Factor Works Everywhere

The plus performance factor still applies for every fantasy football game. Even battles associated with fifth place against sixth place. I was the proud recipient of two plus performances and as a result I finish the year with at three-game losing streak. This also put me below .500 for the first time this year. My final record was 7-8. There is always next year.

Good luck in your championships if you have one.

My diary entry is about another Christmas.

Dear Diary

Christmas is here again. It is going to be on a Monday which means that I will write an article before Christmas but it will not post until after Christmas. So Happy Christmas everyone and may the day bring to you and your family a much needed smile.

First thing up is many people have asked the Virginator how do you prepare for Christmas? Well this year I have an Amazon Echo. I prepare by playing the song Father Christmas by the Kinks like 10 times in a row. And I dance around like I do not care one bit.

After getting all pooped out it is time for bringing up box after box and changing the house from Autumnal Harvest to Christmas. The colors go from burnt oranges, yellows and light browns to red and green and garland and more. My wife does a fantastic job ordering me around and I readily assist with the final twists on our decorating process. But kid you not she is the brains behind the display.

The tree is usually picked out in the first week of December and this year we were later. But the tree came out great and that is all you can ask for. Then for every day during the commute in and from work I turn on Christmas songs and sing to all the favorites. It is at this time I contemplate why some artists like Brenda Lee (“Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree”) dominate a song and now have what can be considered mind share. Even when someone else sings it for some reason it just is not as much fun as Brenda Lee. Another example is “Here Comes Santa Claus” as sung by Gene Autry. I call it forever there. Forever it will be there on your radio.

Good Luck everyone in your championship game who are participating.

Happy Holidays everyone!

Master D.

Tim Davoll can now be reached at and welcomes your opinions on the “Diary of a Fantasy Virgin” articles.

About Tim Davoll

Author of the Weekly Series "Diary of a Fantasy Virgin" since opening day of That particular date? It was September 12, 2002 when my first article was published on this site. It has been a great ride ever since.