Sunday - Feb 28, 2021

Home / Commentary / DIARY OF A FANTASY VIRGIN: Week 4


Happy Week 4 in the NFL my friends and we are witness to history. Tiger Woods wins a golf tournament! The actual Fed Ex Cup Tournament Championship no less!  That takes temerity!  Now back to the NFL. Did you notice that there were two trap games?  I saw the first with the Bills playing Minnesota but did I see the second?  Naturally, it would be the Patriots beating the Lions right? Wrong. And we talk about it again. Why survivor why?

Scoring Is Even Steven

So I continued the tradition which I started in 2012. I have entered into a spreadsheet every score from the NFL for the first two weeks. So I begin this article with my annual look at the scoring in the league. The result which every fan knows is that scoring is actually even-steven.

In the year 2012 when I started this, the average score was around 24 points per team for the 32 teams and the 64 scores achieved over two weeks.  The actual result was 1,506 points but you get the overall picture. Fast forward to this year and the results for 32 teams and the 62 scores by each team over two weeks is an average of about 23 points per team. The offense is coming back. It had been as low as 20 in the recent past.

Introduction of the Bagel

Shockingly the Virginator brought the “Burger” to the conversation in 2016. So it is shockingly forward thinking that the Virginator brings another word to the lexicon of Fantasy Football. The word is “Bagel”. It is the opposite of a Burger. It is the let down of all let downs in Fantasy  Football. I have the ability to use it in a sentence so I shall. It actually is my opponent playing WR Keenan Allen this week and he only goes for a 7 bagel. This is way under the 14 points he has been averaging so he gets the bagel. Going forward there will only be burgers and bagels. For example Matt Ryan went for a 53 burger and that is the rest of the story this week.

The Results Take That!

I replaced Deshaun Watson with Matt Ryan because the New Orleans Saints and the Atlanta Falcons for some reason like to score and score and score.  Did I mention the score?  And they did.  Like I said before, Matt Ryan goes for a 53 Burger and the Virginator is now 3-0. The Virginator pulled out another win from Matt Ryan’s 53 burger. My team consists of two angles driven by feeling. I have a Matt Ryan and Julio Jones angle going. I also have a DeShaun Watson and Will Fuller IV thing going. So I have built something with the thing in the place of the thing. But it can all come crashing down, just ask Jimmy Garoppolo!

Sha-Zammmmmmm!  So much to write about this week.  Did I mention the Survivor loss?  Come on!

Survive This

So I have this opportunity in the survivor pool.  I know that the Minnesota and Buffalo game is a trap.  Run away from that … yay!  So let us go with the New England Patriots beating the chaotic Detroit Lions. Uh-Oh. Holy Schnikes. I went out on the second choice for a football team to win. What the frick? Since I have been doing Fantasy Football Survivor (which is 2002) I have found myself writing the same paragraph over and over again. Am I Sisyphus? Rinse, Repeat and rinse and repeat.

This week’s diary entry is about saying an official goodbye to Summer.

Dear Diary

Summer is gone with a 49 degree evening in the last 24 hours and we had our first brush with fall in Southern New England. I cannot express to you how great fall is in our area. The leaves. The apples. The pumpkins. The football. All of it is spectacular. Welcome to Fall 2018 and welcome to New England. If you have not been here you just have to come for the next 4 weeks and all will be spectacular.

As I have said before…

Be on the lookout for Pumpkin Spiced everything at everywhere you by ice cream, cake, coffee, pie, donuts, and shakes just to name a few. Welcome Harvest and goodbye to Summer.

Master D.

Tim can now be reached at tdavoll@fantasysharks.comand welcomes your opinions on the Diary of a Fantasy Virgin Articles.

About Tim Davoll

Author of the Weekly Series "Diary of a Fantasy Virgin" since opening day of That particular date? It was September 12, 2002 when my first article was published on this site. It has been a great ride ever since.