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THE DIARY of a FANTASY VIRGIN: Week 6

Week 6 in the fantasy football season has arrived. You are either 5-0 (yay!) or 0-5 (boo!) or some place in between. There is no debate (pun intended) about it. The election (oh my) of your team has created this mess. It is time for you to get out of this malfeasance and refuse to give in. If you are doing well, you should shore up your team and wring every last point out of your lineup. As far as this week goes, it should be an easy loss for me. Five players on my team are on a bye.

Bye Bye Bye

Oh, that N’SYNC. Yes, I am talking to you Chris Kirkpatrick, Joey Fatone, Justin Timberlake, JC Chasez, and Lance Bass. You haunt the Virginator’s articles when more than three players on my team are on a bye.   Hence the title of the paragraph.  And when I find myself in this dilemma it ain’t no lie, I should be losing. It is the 16th anniversary of the song and the only thing I can say is that now my wife and I pass Joey when he is running Disney ½ marathons (look it up!). At least Joey is still active so let’s get back to my team. But what if?

Perfect Storm of What If

In order for me to win I need some help so let us play what if. What if your opponent has Matt Forte and Mr. Matt only goes for 7 points? What if they have Jordy Nelson and he goes for only 13? What if Aaron Rodgers goes for 21? What if Antonio Gates also goes for 13? These four wrecking balls have been on a roll and my opponent had all of them. As a result only losses have been served. Ha! I countered with Andrew Luck, recently acquired Jordan Howard, Odell Beckham, and Randall Cobb. Cobb did not get into the end zone but that would have only helped Aaron Rodgers. I slip through the eye of the needle and I get a Sunday win and a 4-1 record. My team is coming around but more and more “Luck” has to be had. For me it is both literally and figuratively of course.

The Turn Is Now

The Fantasy Football Season turns this week. The NFL is begging for every team to be .500. The fantasy football gods want you to be 3-2 or 2-3 and why is that? It is because the infamous and shameful word of parity. Hold down team salaries with a salary cap in order to avoid too many stars. Roll over the teams through a draft system that rewards losing with higher draft picks and have free agency. This results in parity.

This should be enough to make the league even-steven. But what happens when it isn’t? Well you should just sit back and be quiet but that is never usually the case. And the owners of the NFL teams are billionaires. That must be like herding cats if you ask me. The team structure must reflect the ownership and many owners reach for the now. So your turn is now. Consider picking up QB Tony Romo. It could go fantastically well or not and Tony Romo has delivered 2nd half performances in the past. The Cowboys would never bench him…or would they?

As usual, this article is about the hometown team.

Dear Diary

The New England Patriots saw Tom Brady return from his suspension for ignorance of the ideal gas law. Very entertaining that the story took almost 22 months to completely play out.   Heck. It could have gone to the Supreme Court but it didn’t. In our very society there are plenty who would have enjoyed seeing that come to fruition.

Tom terrific as he is known locally did not disappoint. He delivered 3 TDs and 406 yards passing against a winless Cleveland Browns team. The current stance in New England is that all is right with the world. Tom even dove for a first down on Sunday and gestured a first down like so many others have done in the past. But when Tom Brady does it the crowd erupts.

I guess all of New England can now say “Welcome back, Tom” and the games from here on out are going to be more entertaining than ever.  The Patriots are now 4-1 and are tied for the best record in the AFC.

I did choose this game as my survivor pick.  Survive and advance.  Survive and advance.

Master D.

Tim can now be reached at tdavoll@fantasysharks.com and welcomes your opinions on the Diary of a Fantasy Virgin Articles.

About Tim Davoll

Author of the Weekly Series "Diary of a Fantasy Virgin" since opening day of FantasySharks.com. That particular date? It was September 12, 2002 when my first article was published on this site. It has been a great ride ever since.