Wednesday - Oct 28, 2020

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The Diary of a Fantasy Virgin – Week 9

Now the fantasy football season is in high gear. Week 9 has come to the football season and there is still much to be learned from the next four weeks. All is revealed in the Thanksgiving extravaganza. But that is still four weeks away. Much like the tide going out, all teams either have their shorts on … or well, they are as naked as a jaybird. The flash of the early season success sometimes flames out due to injury or erratic play. For me this week, I was Brees’d.

Drew Brees Throws for 7 Touchdowns?

You are watching the RedZone channel and Drew Brees and Eli Manning are having a first half shootout. And the thoughts running through me wee cranium are as follows – “This cannot last the whole game!” “Where is the defense?” “Bueller?”And just like the aforementioned Ferris Bueller, the defenses of the New York Giants and New Orleans Saints took the day off. It was a track meet of epic nerf ball production. Scoring happened in every quarter. Those seven touchdowns by Drew Brees quickly earned a nice 65 points in my league. Sixty-five! And for that reason I lose yet again even with a respectable 136 points. I find myself two games under .500 again and I have shored up my team with Gary Barnidge. I even started Philip Rivers over Aaron Rodgers. It was all for naught and I look forward to another week. It is hopeful that it is a week where I do not find a hot player on my opponent’s team. This reminds me of all the ways to lose in fantasy football.

Ways to Lose In Fantasy Football

I cannot express the ways you can lose in fantasy football. I have had all of them happen to me. In no certain order it goes like this. One of your No. 1 starters gets a quick touchdown but on that touchdown injures himself and he is out the rest of the game. See Keenan Allen. Then there are games where no teams score. This is the opposite of the Giants-Saints affair. See Seattle and Dallas. The final score of 13-12 does not make a great fantasy day unless you have one of the kickers, that is.

Then there are the games where you face the No. 1 scorer of the week. If that transpires, you hope the rest of the team you are playing is having an off scoring day. You can lose if your quarterback throws an interception at the end of the game like a failed Hail Mary. You can lose if your quarterback takes three consecutive knees and that along with a few sacks puts their rushing yards at -10 or -20. How about when your opponent scores a defensive touchdown to end the game? Then there are fumbles and meaningless points after one team has taken a huge lead. I am sure there are more, but this is a good start.

Dear Diary

Christmas is coming. Halloween just finished. The holiday season is in full swing. But I have to talk about the new season of “Harvest.” I do admire this new “Harvest” concept. It is a mixture of all the colors of the fall that appear before the first leaves change and last until all the leaves have fallen off the trees. You place this around your home in September and then around Thanksgiving weekend you pick it all up and go traditional Christmas.

I believe the culmination of Harvest is the traditional Thanksgiving feast. It is like Thanksgiving was jealous of all the Christmas publicity and the colors of crimson and burnt orange, and vibrant yellow will now prevail in every home until red and green and Santa and ho-ho-ho! Christmas is getting some competition.

Master D.

Tim can now be reached at and welcomes your opinions on the “Diary of a Fantasy Virgin” articles.

About Tim Davoll

Author of the Weekly Series "Diary of a Fantasy Virgin" since opening day of That particular date? It was September 12, 2002 when my first article was published on this site. It has been a great ride ever since.