Initially built by NASA to set lines for the Las Vegas casinos in the late 1950s (Who do you think funded the Apollo missions? The government? It was the mob …), The Sin City Betbot 6000 calculated lines for over 30 years. The Betbot was given various upgrades through the years, not always with the best equipment, but he was very good at setting lines, and living the good life.
The Betbot was de-commissioned in 1990 after San Francisco destroyed Denver in the Super Bowl. The 45-point spread simply fried a number of the Betbot’s wires and he retired. The Betbot was discovered by Fantasysharks.com and retooled to give fantasy advice. He lives now to give his own unique, well-cultured take on the NFL. The Sin City Betbot 6000 Presents is transcribed by Tom Walls because “typing … BZZT … is a dame’s job.”
I was going to talk about my old accountant, we’ll call him Hal S. to maintain his anonymity, and his feud with his son, Charlie ‘Little Hal’ S. About how Charlie left Hal’s firm, and how Hal was hurt, didn’t talk to Charlie and went to his grave with 20 years of no communication with his son. I was then going to shoehorn in a tenuous parallel with the whole Chip Kelly/Shady McCoy feud. But then I realized a couple things:
- I led with the Eagles and Chip Kelly last week
- The whole handshake story is silly (they will shake hands, I guarantee it)
Seriously, though, Kelly needs to be able to relate to NFL players, even the immature ones.
Here’s a tip for you fantasy heads out there, you all play fantasy football, right? I mean, check the name of the bleeping website, right? Start any Steeler or Bengal you have this week. Gone are the days…BZZZT… of fearsome defenses in the AFC North. And seriously, this El Nino should help teams in the northern part of the country score more with milder weather through the end of December. You gotta look at this stuff when drafting players. I do, and that’s why I win, capiche?
I’m writing this during the second quarter of…BZT… the Cardinal/Vikings tilt. I don’t know how this one will go, the Vikings are putting up a much better fight than I thought. However, you just get the feeling that the Cardinals could bat around any other team in the NFC, except for the Seahawks. They are a fun team to watch.
The Ridiculous Six movie by Adam Sandler looks like a terrible piece of junk, doesn’t it? YOU DON’T HAVE TO GIVE THIS MAN MONEY, HOLLYWOOD!!!!
The Packers offensive line is horribly beat up, I don’t need to tell you that. They are still run blocking relatively well, however. I…BZZZZT… expect to see Green Bay throw it much less moving forward. Aaron Rodgers owners can’t be happy about the output of the QB, and it won’t get much better moving forward. He has a particularly rough matchup this week against the Cowboys defense, which is the 5th best pass defense in the league. If you have an alternative QB, you gotta think about benching Rodgers.
So long, and remember – showgirls and gin, my friends – Showgirls and BZZZZT gin.