Initially built by NASA to set lines for the Las Vegas casinos in the late 1950s (Who do you think funded the Apollo missions? The government? It was the mob …), The Sin City Betbot 6000 calculated lines for over 30 years. The Betbot was given various upgrades through the years, not always with the best equipment, but he was very good at setting lines, and living the good life.
The Betbot was de-commissioned in 1990 after San Francisco destroyed Denver in the Super Bowl. The 45-point spread simply fried a number of the Betbot’s wires and he retired. The Betbot was discovered by Fantasysharks.com and retooled to give fantasy advice. He lives now to give his own unique, well-cultured take on the NFL. The Sin City Betbot 6000 Presents is transcribed by Tom Walls because “typing … BZZT … is a dame’s job.”
I’ve had a lot of good times in my travels. I’ve met a lot of good people.
However, I’ve also met some bums. One of the top 3 bums I’ve met is Sam Wengel. I met him at a party in the Hollywood Hills in 1968. This was …BZZZT…before the Manson Family scare, and while Wengel wasn’t evil, he was a user; and his actions got other people hurt. Wengel ran a talent agency, the party we met at was at Joey Hetherington’s house. He got …BZT…invited through a friend of Joey’s. I loved Joey, she was a great girl and threw some crazy parties. I was expecting Sammy Davis Jr. to make an appearance, but he got into (another) car accident on Mulholland Drive. Anyhow, I got buttonholed by this Wengel character.
I admit it, he fooled me. We went sailing together to Catalina, and I went to a couple of his parties. Little did I know the main thing…BZZT… Sam did for his clients was to cover up their various misdeeds. He hid evidence and paid off victims. The more I learned, the sicker I became. I couldn’t stand …BZT…to be around Wengel, he gave me the creeps. Wengel covered up these misdeeds, crimes and moral misadventures because it benefited him.
This brings me to today’s NFL. I’ve written about unrepentant rage monster Greg Hardy. When I write about Hardy, I have to insert a bunch of words like “allegedly” because ,as we all know, he hasn’t been found guilty of anything. What I can say about Hardy is that he flipped out and raged out at coaches and players on his own team, plenty of cameras caught that; Jason Garrett saw it and chose to not punish him.
Hardy’s teammate, Joseph Randle is finally being disciplined for his various run-ins with the Law. Shoplifting (a sampler for a cologne named Guilty, of all things) and domestic abuse are Randle’s particular specialties. Jason Garrett, Stephen Jones and Jerry ‘Emporer Palpatine’ Jones are all enablers, just as slimy and self serving as Sam Wengel.
Bonus enabler? The Avon (Ohio) Police Department. After responding to an incident in which Johnny Manziel was driving a car, smelled of alcohol, admitted he drank earlier in the day and was in an altercation with his …BZZT…girlfriend in the car, and not given a breathalyzer test. Ordinary citizens would get the breathalyzer test every time. According to reports out of Cleveland, the Browns have a solution to the Manziel problem; they want Manziel to break-up with his girlfriend. You read that right, not rehab, not cutting Manziel – they want him to break-up with his girlfriend.
Bravo, Browns, Bravo. Sam Wengel would be proud.
So long, and remember – showgirls and gin, my friends – Showgirls and BZZZZT gin.