Sunday - Sep 27, 2020

Home / Commentary / DIARY OF A FANTASY VIRGIN: Week 12


It is Week 12 in the NFL. The playoffs start Week 14 in our league which means we are in the home stretch. And I am stretching because my team is just so gosh darn mediocre. What is on tap this week in the virginator articles? Well, I talk about my week and whether Mexico is naughty or Mexico is nice (#EarlyChristmasReference). I also get my Li’L Yoda on … spoiler alert the Mandalorian is freaking Lannik awesome! So let’s get to it, shall we?

Champagne Corks All Around Miami

This is just a note about undefeated teams. Last week in overtime San Francisco found itself on the way to its first loss of the season. San Francisco decided to do this long after I had gone to sleep. That means it did not appear in my article so this paragraph appears here for you one week later. Ever since Miami went 17-0 in 1972, everyone has been waiting for another perfect season. New England came close, only losing to the New York Giants in the Super Bowl in the 2007 season. I have heard that the Miami team alumni used to pop champagne bottles but now they just get on a conference call when the last team loses and humblebrag about their unusual place in history. So another year comes and goes without a perfect season.

Two More Weeks To Go

My football week lives and dies in Mexico. Literally, I have a team that is in the lead going into Monday Night Football but I am waiting on the outcome of an event. I have wide receiver Tyreek Hill and wide receiver Keenan Allen going against tight end Hunter Henry. But Hill went to the locker room with a hamstring situation and now it is two teammates at my fate. Luckily I played Drew Brees and his points along with that defensive touchdown put me over the top and I am 6-5 with two weeks to go. I cannot rest on my laurels because I am in the last playoff position in my league even though my fantasy football team has scored the most points in the league. Geez, Louise, that is messed up but this is a messed up year.

My diary entry is about Disney+ and The Mandalorian.

Dear Diary

As someone who frequents Disney …. Hi Carl, Marci, Pete, Denise, Manny, Karen, Tony, Terri, Melissa, Bruce, Carol, Holly, Trevor, Al, et. al … I could go on but come on now. Naturally, I am inclined to purchase Disney+. In defense of Disney+, which is the new streaming service from Disney, the catalog of 500-plus titles is worth $6.99 per month. It is so freaking awesome I cannot explain it into words.

So, as a person who has spent 54 days in a calendar year in Disney can only explain, what is the first thing I watched on Disney+? I can watch anything from my childhood. Like Escape to Witch Mountain and the Apple Dumpling Gang, or even Winnie The Pooh. Nope! The first thing I watched was a Kim Possible episode called The Oh Boyz. Lance Bass and Joey Fatone (who my wife and I have passed running Disney Marathons back in the day) sing wonderfully corny songs all the way to the end in a fantastic boy band love fest. Quit playing games with my head! Hahahahhahah. But then I decided to put in the Mandalorian and check it out.

The Mandalorian is a Star Wars universe based story written by Jon Favreau of Ironman fame. Yes that is a great movie and we know Favreau has done lots of other stuff but let us focus here. The Mandalorian is trying to accumulate high-profile bounties and as a result he ends up on a planet that is desolate and has Jawas and … sound familiar? Where are the moisture farms!!? But I digress. The first episode ends with the Mandalorian acquiring his bounty which is 50 years old … but it is a Lannik! OK. For those who do not talk Star Wars a Lannik is the species to which Yoda belongs. Yes! And when you are 50, since Yoda lived to be over 600, that means you are like a child.

So my wife and I came up with Li’L Yoda as the nickname for this character. It is so freakingly awesome that inside Star Wars fans can appreciate and have an out of body experience with the possibilities. Good for you Disney! How inside am I when it comes to Star Wars? OK … reveal time.

I have a Masters Degree in Electrical Engineering.

I work in the Aerospace Industry.

I proposed to my wife by suggesting to her we play Star Wars Monopoly … her wedding ring was slipped in as one of the play pieces. She chose it. Would you believe that happened in March of 2000? Long before Big Bang Theory and Wolowitz. Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction.

Hmmm … she took that one immediately and I got down on one knee and proposed. Star Wars is in my blood and always will be I guess.

Master D.

Tim Davoll can now be reached at and welcomes your opinions on the “Diary of a Fantasy Virgin” articles.

About Tim Davoll

Author of the Weekly Series "Diary of a Fantasy Virgin" since opening day of That particular date? It was September 12, 2002 when my first article was published on this site. It has been a great ride ever since.