Saturday - Jul 31, 2021

Home / Commentary / DIARY OF A FANTASY VIRGIN: Week 7


Week 7 is here and we are still playing NFL games. The World Series is on time and it sees the Tampa Bay Rays and the Los Angeles Dodgers battling it out for the championship. That means if the World Series can be completed, we have completed an NHL season (Sept. 28), NBA season (Oct. 11), and MLB season (Oct. 28 or earlier) within a month. That is plenty of championship competition and unheard of but we live in interesting times and all that is unheard is spoken daily.

This week we are going to explore the halfway point of the fantasy football season. We will discuss the touch-and-go nature of professional football through the eyes of my beautiful wife. We touch on my record in my league. We get out to visit mother nature and discuss who the “leafles” are and what are they doing back here during Covid-19?

When Your Wife Asks You About the Dallas Cowboys

My wife hangs around football and is forced to watch some pregame shows and some NFL Sunday Ticket action. Since she is on the periphery she will notice some events that make her curious. The latest one is … “What is the deal with the Dallas Cowboys?” She asked how such a team with such a big stadium and such a “mindshare” in the media exists. I stated the following.

Believe it or not, you are never as bad as you seem in the NFL. Believe it or not, you are never as good as you are in the NFL. There will be talk about many teams during the NFL. But all it is comprises of hearsay, innuendo, reality and unreality all at the same time. Every team tries to win equally but some just do not and you can say that about every team in the NFC East in the last few years. Why is this? I believe the NFL is played within statistical error. And mistakes are never rewarded. It is not a result based on chance because the best teams end up winning, but getting to that point seems to require events falling your way. An injury, a play or a mistake can be the difference between a winning record and a losing one.

Here response was “the Dallas Cowboys are now 2-4, right?” Yes … yes they are. Meanwhile, I get big performances from quarterback Ryan Tannehill and running back Derrick Henry.

Burger Me!

In fantasy football you get performances and then you get exceptional performances. The exceptional performances are called “burgers.” So when Ryan Tannehill goes for 42 points, you can sum up his performance with a burger at the end of the 42. So Ryan Tannehill went for a 42 Burger and Derrick Henry went for a 40 Burger and the result was another win which puts me at 5-1 and first place in my division. I have run off four straight wins after starting off 1-1. But never get complacent. The next goal in your team is the run-up to the second half of the season. Try to fill it with burgers, my friends. Burger for you! Burger for You! … and Burger for You!

My diary entry is about them leafles!

Dear Diary

I bring amazing news for the second year in a row. I find myself driving to Mystic, Conn., and Gillette Castle and what do I run into? I run into people who love the fall foliage leaves. I affectionately refer to them as leafles. Leaf loving people are leafles. They generally do not know where they are going but they like to drive to Mystic and Gillette Castle and Lyman Orchards and maneuver their way up north until no more beautiful leaves can be seen. All of these are wonderful Connecticut places to be and to be seen with the state of the foliage. We are having a second wind and the colors in Connecticut are pretty nice but the trees are a little bare from our tropical storm in August.

The leaves are on full turn this week in New England and the leafles are in full force. Their army is large. Their SUVs are impressive. Please do not try to rent a vehicle for the rental places are all sold out. How much cider and apple pies and pumpkin patch picking can you prepare for? Well, not enough my friends. Everyone seems to be driving 40 miles per hour or less and they are bedazzled by the wonderful colors brought forth by Mother Nature. Foliage is Covid-19 friendly just like drive-ins! Who knew?

Get your pumpkin on because it is go time in New England.

Just prepare to do it 6 feet apart from one another with a mask on.

Master D.

Tim Davoll can now be reached at and welcomes your opinions on the “Diary of a Fantasy Virgin” articles.

About Tim Davoll

Author of the Weekly Series "Diary of a Fantasy Virgin" since opening day of That particular date? It was September 12, 2002 when my first article was published on this site. It has been a great ride ever since.