Thursday - Mar 4, 2021

Home / Commentary / DIARY OF A FANTASY VIRGIN: Week 2


Now I know this may sound crazy but I have to put it in writing.  All-world WR Antonio Brown was released by The Oakland Raiders and within moments upon the arrival of 4:01 PM on the release day signed with The New England Patriots.  The information that I just wrote is so difficult to process that it bends my mind in a warped fashion.  At this point I would write it down again because the shock is downright jolting.  If I were to write that Antonio Brown would be with Tom Brady in New England it would seem outrageous but it has happened and now we will see what happens next.  Is this a bumpy flight or smooth sailing?  Stay tuned.

Burgers, Bunslys and En Temps  Oh My!

In my articles, the player’s performance comes down to three types of performances.  You have the “burger”.  The burger performance is when the player exceeds their predicted result by a significant margin.  For example, my K Stephen Gostkowski went for a 19 burger this week.  Yay!  Then you have the “bunsly” which is another way of saying “buns-only”.  The buns-only reference is because a buns-only is missing the burger and means no burger and that the player went for significant points under their predicted result.  For example, WR Tyreek Hill went for a 3 bunsly this week.  Then you have “en temps”.  This is when the player went for right around their predicted value for the week.  For example, TE George Kittle went for a 13 en temps this week.  To make a long story short you want more Burgers than Bunslys.  Now, what does any of that mean for me?

Bunsly For Me!

I start out the year with a loss.  All I needed was an en temps performance from Tyreek Hill and Mike Evans but they went all bunsly on me.  If Deshaun Watson goes for a 44 burger I will win.  Hooray!  But he only went for a 39 burger and I am 0-1.  This is a feeling-out week and based upon one week in you should have more information to improve.  The point of the Fantasy Football year is to improve weekly.  I know that I replay this part every year but it is important so heed these recommendations.

Pick Your Team Wisely Using 7 Steps to a Better Team

Can 7 steps make your week?  Only if you try them my compadres de football d’fantasy. Your Fantasy Football team wins if your starting team has more points at the end of the weekend than your opponent.  As profound as that doesn’t sound it becomes that simple.  A great bench doesn’t win it.  But knowledge is power and I am here to help.  If you lost this week, let me assist you with a strategy that will at least give you a fair shot as after all, all you want is a fair shot in this game; anything else and you are the Postmaster General for the town named Clueless, population, you! So here are 7 steps to a better starting lineup. I made the 7 steps stick out so you can keep them handy.

7 Steps To A Better Fantasy Football Starting Lineup

(1)   Register At It’s Free! (Always a Shameless Plug)

(2)   Go to  My Fantasy SharksCustomize Fantasy Sharks To Your Leagues and then My Players and enter your team into My Roster.

(3)   After Thursday AM Go To My Fantasy Sharks and Starting Lineup Help and the Linueup Coach

(4) Change all your players to that team…now!

(5)   Here is the finetune that helps out … Check out this site for all that is hot for the game.  If it is a high flying offense against a mediocre defense (like anyone against The Miami Dolphins for example) go for it.

(6)   If any of your second string (WR/TE/QB/K/RB) is on a hot offense, you may want to consider switching.

(7)   Do that until you are satisfied with your selections

Now, just relax, you did your best.  That is all you can hope for.  If you are winning, great, but if you are like the other half this week, stuff like this may help. Now this is just a starter. Take advantage of the message boards and all other fine writers on this site. All of us are here to help you. But you must begin in the beginning.  Speaking of which…how did your first week go?  My diary entry is about first week of the topsy-turvy NFL.

Dear Diary

I had the distinct pleasure of playing my college roommate Rob right off the bat this year. Now one of the cool things is I still see Rob and for the most part yearly. We laugh and talk about old times. You may think it is stupid but I was there and we were both studying for and did receive Electrical Engineering degrees long before being a nerd was cool.

But now we are old and yet we can still put ourselves in that moment when we were between the ages of 18-21. Yikes! I now see the appeal of all those songs about the good ole’ days. I bring terrible news and I am sure someone has told you this. Today is the good ole’ days when it is 10- or 20-years later. I think it must be hard to live in the moment or else the memories of the past would be too easily washed away.

Master D.

Tim can now be reached at and welcomes your opinions on the Diary of a Fantasy Virgin Articles.


About Tim Davoll

Author of the Weekly Series "Diary of a Fantasy Virgin" since opening day of That particular date? It was September 12, 2002 when my first article was published on this site. It has been a great ride ever since.