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Fantasy Football Textbook – Part Five

Unit One: Getting Started


Chapter Five – The Dictator and the Diplomat


What makes a league fair, and therefore more fun? Besides a good set of rules and systems, a league needs a good, fair, tough commissioner.


What follows are some basic ground rules for league management. These ideas are all pretty simple and not very controversial, to say the least.


A good commissioner must be a leader of two minds, depending on whether you are in the season or off-season.


If you are in season, you need to not only be fair, but consistent and unyielding. Some owners may seek to take advantage of a commissioner if that commissioner shows any weakness, or falters in judgment. So don’t falter or show weakness. Rule quickly, and don’t allow second guessing.


If you in the off-season, you need to be a diplomat. If the owners want to change the league, follow the rules outlined in your league constitution for rule changes. Speak your mind, but accept what the owners want. You should allow owners to be as empowered as anyone else in the off-season. Remember, every league is paid for and owned by each owner equally. Your main job in the off season is to properly shepherd proposed rule changes through as your constitution is written.


As commissioner, one of your jobs is to manage money. If you are someone who is not too good with your own finances, initiate a separate savings account after you receive any league fees and keep the money there. It’s not your money, and it shouldn’t be put at risk. It would also be very embarrassing to not be able to pay your rewards on time. It will also probably get you kicked out of the commish position. How the league’s money will be spent (league website, party, draft, draft board) needs to be completely spelled out in the constitution.


Don’t be a jerk. You know what I mean, if this needs to be explained to you, you won’t be a commish for long.


Don’t ever, ever, ever change rules after your draft/auction. If there is a hole in your rules/constitution that an owner is taking advantage of, the best remedy in season is to communicate the loophole so all owners know of it. If everyone knows of the loophole and uses it, it’s no owner’s advantage. After the season, you can bring up a rule change yourself.


Draft and use a league constitution. League rules can be tough to keep track of. Make sure you have a document everyone can use and reference. Below is a constitution my league uses. There are some ‘fun’ rules in here, but hey, it’s supposed to be fun, right? Feel free to use our constitution as a template for your constitution (article XVI is totally screwed up though, I suggest not using these rules). One last thing, there are some rules here about certain libations to be imbibed on draft day. Don’t use these rules if you or any of your owners are underage.


Be a friend on draft day, if someone can’t get home because of too many drinks, don’t let them drive home.*


The bottom line is this, use common sense and you will succeed in running a fair league.




Monkey League Rules and Regulations
“For All Things Simian”
Agreed upon at Owner’s Meeting, 12-Aug, 1995

Last Revision by League Meeting in August 2003.
Most recent revisions denoted by asterisks (*) around any changed or added text.

Article I — Owner’s Meeting and Owner Fees

All franchise owners shall assemble at an agreed upon time and place for the annual draft. This date shall officially mark the beginning of the season. Before that time, the entry fee for owning a team in the Monkey League should be decided. *The current owner’s fee is $100.00, plus a $25.00 deposit for transactions, as outlined in Article XIII.

Article I.a — Loon’s Corollary

The owner’s fee shall cover all costs associated with running the Monkey League. Any costs incurred by an owner on behalf of the league will be paid from the league treasury. This corollary is to prevent an owner from badgering other owners on draft day to recover expenses.

Article II — Division setup and Commissioner duties

There will be three conferences in the Monkey League (from here on referred to as Kongs). They are: the Donkey Kong, the Diddy Kong, and the Funky Kong. Each Kong will have an equal number of teams in it. Any expansion to the league must occur in sets of three. Each Kong will have its own commissioner, who will be responsible for certain activities pertaining to franchises in the entire Monkey League as follows:

Transactions – Responsible for all transactions (Free Agent acquisitions, trades, and injured reserve movement) as outlined in Articles 10 – 12.
Treasury – Keeping track of all money, including all transaction deposits, exchanges, and any necessary budgeting (beer money.)
Bookkeeping – Keeping track of all team rosters, league standings, and league schedules, and recording each team’s score every week. The bookkeeping commissioner will calculate the scores for each team every week and may record season statistics if time permits.
Weekly Updates – Making sure each team owner is aware of the previous week’s results, including game scores, transactions, and updated standings.
Weekly Starters – Taking each team’s starting roster for each week’s games.

In order to make it easier to manage the league, we will use an automated Fantasy Football manager on the internet. The current web site we are using is As many of the above tasks as possible will be handled by the website, including: Transactions, Bookkeeping, Weekly Updates, and Weekly Rosters. At least one of the Kong commissioners will have access to the commissioner’s section of the website to help manage the league.

Article III — Roster limits and Draft Rules


Each franchise will have 18 players on its team, from the following categories: Quarterbacks, Running Backs, Tight Ends, Wide Receivers, Kickers, and Defensive/Special Teams. Note that Defense/Special Teams are one player and that there are no roster limitations. A player’s position eligibility, when vague, will be determined by, no exceptions.

Draft Day Rules

The following rules will govern how players are selected during draft day: Each franchise is allowed to draft 18 players during draft day. The final roster of 18 must be decided by the first game of the season. When the first starting lineup is submitted (see Article VI,) each team will submit the players they are releasing from their team to get to an 18 man roster. Each team returning from the previous season is allowed to protect up to two players, meaning that those two players may not be drafted by another team. For each player less than 2 that a franchise does not protect, they receive one draft selection in the supplemental draft.

Draft Day will go as follows:

1.Protection Round. Returning franchises announce their protected players. This occurs in two rounds, with each franchise protecting one player per round. If a franchise wishes, it can pass in any round, which earns one pick in the supplemental draft for each pass. The order during this round goes from the team with the best finish in the previous season to the team with the worst finish (Determined by playoff status followed by win-loss record, with tie-breakers following the structure used for the playoffs using the previous season’s statistics as outlined in Article XV.)
2.Supplemental Draft. Each expansion team, if any, gets 2 tickets in the supplemental draft. Each team from the previous season gets one ticket per pass during the Protection round. All tickets are placed in a hat and selected at random. When a franchise’s ticket is selected, they can draft one available NFL player. Each franchise may choose a maximum of two players during the supplemental draft.
3.Lottery Selection. The lottery is used to determine the order of picking in the final round of the draft. Each expansion team gets 10 tickets into the lottery. Each returning franchise gets the number of tickets representing their finishing status in the previous season (as determined in the protection round.) For example, the team that wins the Monkey Bowl gets one ticket, and the Monkey Bowl loser gets two tickets, and so on until the last returning franchise. Then, all tickets are placed in a hat and selected at random to determine the order of selection during the final rounds of the draft. Once a team is selected in the lottery, its draft position is fixed and if the team is selected again from the hat, the ticket is ignored.
4.Regular Draft. To get each franchise’s roster up to the allotted 18 picks, the selection order determined by the lottery is used to pick players from the NFL. The regular draft follows a serpentine structure; the team that picks last in one round picks first in the next round, and picks advance in order. Each franchise is given one minute to make their selection before the next pick begins.
5.Traded picks. Any traded picks will be substituted according to the terms of the trade. If a franchise trades away draft picks so they do not draft 18 players, extra picks can be added on after the 18th round of the draft and players will be selected according to the order of the regular draft. If a franchise elects to not use the extra picks in the draft, they keep roster spots open and can fill them with free agents.

Article IV — Starting Lineups

During the season, each franchise will start a team with 8 players and adhere to the following roster minimums:

1 Quarterback
1 Running Back
1 Wide Receiver
1 Tight End
1 Kicker
1 Defense/Special Teams

The remaining two players may start at the Running Back, Wide Receiver, or Tight End slot, in any combination.

For playoff games, additional players must be submitted in case of a tie, as outlined inArticle XVI.

Article V

V.a — Hidden Loophole Beer Clause: Any expansion team owners are responsible for providing one Keg of Beer for the draft day. If the league does not expand, then everyone chips in or there’s gonna’ be a fight.

V.b — New Owner “My B****” Clause: On draft day, expansion team owners will fill any beer of an existing owner, at the existing owner’s request. Upon completion of said fill, existing owner may use the phrase “My B****” in lieu of the traditional “Thank You.” Usage: “Good Job, My B****”; “Nice Pour, My B****”; etc.

V.c — Monkey League Team Drink (and how): At the beginning of the annual Monkey League party, each owner shall drink once for each of their team’s wins during the previous season.

V.d — Winner’s Chug: At the beginning of the annual Monkey League party, the previous year’s winner will chug a full beer instead of drinking once per win as outlined above.

V.e — Whistlin’ Dixie: On draft day, any owner living south of the Mason-Dixon line and East of the Mississippi River, or in Texas, must chug one beer before the draft can start.

*V.f — Who’s Yer Daddy?: On draft day, any owner who has children (that they are aware of), must chug 1/2 beer per child.*

Article VI — Lineup Submission Deadlines allows the MFL to submit lineups up to one hour before game time for the first game of the week. After one hour before kickoff for the first game of the week, no more lineup changes will be accepted.

Article VII — Scoring (Offense and Defense)

Monkey League teams score when their starting players score in NFL games. The commissioner in charge of Bookkeeping is responsible for calculating each team’s score after the NFL week is over. Scores should be calculated by Tuesday at 12:00 pm. Scoring will be calculated as follows:

Offensive Scoring

Running Touchdown: 6 points
Passing Touchdown: 3 points for the passer (includes Running Backs and Wide Receivers) and 6 points for the receiver
Kicking: 3 points for field goals and 1 point for extra point. Add 1 point for a FG over 50 yds
2-point conversion: 2 points for a run or a reception. 1 point for a pass

Defensive Scoring

Shut Out: 10 points
Opposition scores less than 7: 5 points (not awarded for a shut out)
Fumble Recovery: 1 point
Interception: 1 point
Safety: 2 points
Defensive Touchdown: 6 points
Sack: 1 point

Scoring by Yardage

Points will be awarded based on each individual player’s performance in the following categories:

One point for every 20 yards rushing
One point for every 20 yards receiving
One point for every 50 yards passing
One bonus point for every player with 100 yards rushing
One bonus point for every player with 100 yards receiving
One bonus point for every player with 300 yards passing

Article VIII — Scoring (Special Teams)

The defense/special teams player is an entire NFL team. In addition to scoring points on defense (see above,) the defense/special teams player also scores whenever that NFL team scores a Special Teams touchdown. Note: Offensive players who also return special teams kicks score points ONLY for the franchise which owns the Defense/Special Teams unit, and NOT for a franchise starting that player on offense.

Article IX — Regular Season Ties

For Regular Season games, there shall be no tie breakers. If two opposing teams score the same amount of points, then the game shall be considered a tie.

Article X — Injured Reserve

There is no injured reserve in the Monkey League. If a franchise wishes to keep a player who is injured on their team, they must sacrifice a roster spot to do so.

Article XI — Free Agent Rules

All players not drafted are considered free agents. Franchise owners may sign these free agents according to the following guidelines:

*A franchise may make a free agent transaction up until 6:00pm on Friday (in weeks where the first game of the week is a Saturday or Sunday), and 6:00pm on Wednesday for weeks where the first game of the week is played on Thursday. Article VI outlines the lineup submission deadline. Any player acquired through a free agent transaction can be added to the starting lineup immediately. *

The league website at (See Article XVII) will announce all player releases since the last update. All franchise owners must be informed when a player has been waived before any team can acquire that player. Each franchise should consult our website at to make a bid for a free agent acquisition.

Each team receives a total of 1000 Banana Bucks with which they can bid for free agents. A free agent bid must be placed on the league website within 24 hours before lineups are due.
All bids are sealed until that time and the free agent will be awarded to the highest bidder at that time. Owners that placed a winning bid will be notified when their roster is updated on the league’s website. The winning bid will be determined as follows: the highest number of Banana Bucks bid shall win the bid, in case of any ties the earliest submitted bid will receive the free agent. Owners may place conditional bids. (Example: Bid 100 BBs for TE Ted Popson, if Popson not received, bid 75 BBs on TE Frank Wycheck.)

Banana Bucks can be traded between owners for draft picks or players. Unused Banana Bucks can be carried over to the following season, and will be added to that owners new allotment of 1000 Banana Bucks for that season. The maximum number of Banana Bucks any franchise can start a season with is 2500. No future year’s Banana Bucks may be traded. Current year Banana Bucks can be traded, and may take the owner’s total amount over 2500.

Note that in order to make a free agent acquisition, the franchise must abide by the roster outlines in Article III, which may mean releasing a player in order to acquire a free agent.

Article XII — Trades

If two or more franchise owners wish to trade players, they must do so by consulting the league website at Trades can be made right up until lineups are due for any week that the traded players can be started for their new teams.* No owners may object to a Monkey League trade and each owner is responsible for making fair trades. End of the season tactics, such as holding a fire sale, are frowned upon, but technically not illegal.

No trades shall be permitted after 1 hour prior to game time on the 11th week of the fantasy season. Trading may resume following the end of that year’s Monkey Bowl.

Article XIII — Transaction Costs

*Each trade or successful free agent acquisition is considered a transaction. Each transaction costs $1.00 until Friday, 6:00 pm in week 7, and then each transaction costs $2.00 until Friday, 6:00 pm in week 11, and then $3.00 for the rest of the season. Transactions on draft day are free. Before a traded player or free agent acquisition can be started, the transaction fee must be paid. *

Players MUST leave a deposit for transactions at the beginning of the season and deduct transaction fees from the deposit. Any money left over from the transaction deposit will be used for the Monkey League party.

Article XIV — Playoff Eligibility and Schedule

The Fantasy season will begin on week one of the NFL season, and continue until week 14 of the NFL season. The top three teams in each Kong, as determined by Win-Loss Record, advance to the playoffs. In addition, one “Wild Card” team will advance to the playoffs. The team with the best Win-Loss record in the league (besides the Kong champions) is the Wild Card team.

The first round of the playoffs occurs the week after the Fantasy season ends (NFL week 15,) with the winners of the games advancing to the Monkey Bowl, held in NFL week 16. A schedule of games and playoff scheme will be made by the “Bookkeeping” commissioner and will be provided to each owner on or before draft day, along with a schedule of NFL games.

Article XV — Playoff Eligibility Tie Breakers

The following is the tie-breaking scheme should two or more teams have identical records at the end of the season. Ties within Kongs shall be broken first:

1.Best head to head record between the two teams in a tie
2.Best record in the Kong
3.Total Points scored during the season

If there is still a tie, then the tie shall be broken by a coin toss or chugging contest, whichever is more convenient.

The following tie-breaking scheme will be used for Wild Card ties:

1.Best head to head record between the two teams in the tie
2.Best total points for the season
3.Most total points head to head
4.Coin toss or Distance Keg toss

Article XVI — Playoff Games

Playoff games shall follow the same rules as regular season games except that there are no ties in playoff games. For Playoff games, the following tie-breaking scheme will be used:

Each playoff team will submit 2 tie breaker players (Jerry and Andy.)

The home team (team with the better regular season record) will have the advantage of a swing player (Jerry.) When the scores are calculated, the home team will be able to use Jerry as a substitute for any player player at Jerry’s position (RB,WR, etc.) in their starting lineup to calculate their score. The substituted player (Michael) then becomes the 2nd tie breaker player for the home team. This gives the home team a slight advantage in the playoffs since a poor scoring Michael in the starting lineup can be substituted with Jerry. Note that the Jerry does
not have to be announced before the game. The home team can choose either of their tie breaker players to be the Jerry to determine the best possible score.

Should there still be a tie following the swing player adjustment, the scores for each of the 2 tie breaker players will be calculated. The team with the highest scoring tie-breakers wins the game.

If there is still a tie, the following tie-breaking scheme will be used:

1.Best head to head record between the two teams in a tie
2.Best total points for the season
3.Most total points head to head
4.Coin toss or Distance Keg toss

Article XVII — Weekly Report

Our website at includes all information regarding the previous week’s scores, transactions, and updated standings. This information is updated automatically by the management service and should be available by Tuesday morning of each week at the latest. Updated rosters will be available before lineups are due. Therefore, no weekly commissioner report is required, *although the current commish has stated that he will produce a Transaction report to be published Friday evenings to make owners aware of any FA acquisitions or Trades for that week as well as informing them of their current remaining Banana Bucks.*

Article XVIII — Official Statistics Source

The website is the official source for all MFL scoring and statistics.

Article XIX — Changing the Rules

Articles may be revised or added during the off-season (the day after the Monkey Bowl until the day of the draft) by a two-thirds majority approval of franchise owners. During the
Monkey League party, articles may be revised by a two-thirds majority of all attending members.

Articles may be revised or added during the season (the day of the draft to the day of the Monkey Bowl) by unanimous approval of franchise owners.

Anytime a vote occurs, the members who lose the vote must drink once for being in the minority. In the case of a tie vote, a team chugging contest will determine which side wins the vote.

Article XXII covers league expansion and re-alignment and is not covered by Article XIX.

Article XX — Awards

The Monkey League Prize Money (MLPM) equals the sum of the following assets and liabilities:


Each owner’s entry fee
Each transaction fee charged during the season
Leftover money from the previous year’s treasury


Any costs associated with running the league (draft board, trophy engraving, etc.)
$200 Monkey League Party fund
MFL Shootout Prize — For NFL week 17, each owner will submit a regular lineup for the week 17 contest. Whoever scores the most points during week 17 will win the week 17
contest prize of $50.00.
Weekly Incentive — The owner with the most points during each of the 14 regular season weeks receives a $10 prize. ($140 total prize money) *

The Prize Money will be awarded as follows:

Monkey Bowl winner receives 45% of the MLPM.
The Monkey Bowl loser receives 25% of the MLPM.
The two first round playoff losers receive 12.5% of the MLPM each.
The team who scores the most points during the season receives 5%.

The Monkey League party will be funded using $200 and any unused money from the transaction deposit. Whatever funds in the treasury go unused for the party will be carried over to the next year’s league. Should the party fund not cover the party expenses, the difference will be split evenly by all members attending the party.

Article XXI — Scoring Discrepancies

Any scoring discrepancies should be reported to the three commissioners, who will follow up with

Any discrepancies or suspected mistakes in a franchise’s score must be reported no later than two weeks after the game has been played. After two weeks, all scores stand. You may be required to submit proof (using statistics from that proves the scoring error. After two weeks, there are no corrections. All Kong commissioners must approve any corrections which affect the outcome of a game.

Article XXII — League Expansion and Re-Alignment

Two-thirds of the league’s franchises must agree to expand the league before expansion can take place. If expansion takes place, all Kongs must contain the same number of teams. To determine what Kong the new teams will be in, the Kong commissioners will select the teams at random.

There will not be any Re-Alignment unless agreed upon by a majority of franchise owners.

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