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Fantasy Intelligence Report – Week 16

In the spirit of Christmas and how much I appreciate working side-by-side with a great group of writers, I’ve decided to change things up a bit this week. While the hot sheet is definitely provided below with a few minor tweaks, I decided to devote much of my time this week writing my fantasy football 2011 rendition of “Twas the Night Before Christmas.”

I hope everyone has a safe and pleasant holiday season.

F.S.C.P. – Fantasy Shark Christmas Poem

Twas the night before Christmas (Eve), when all through the house

A creature was stirring, he was clicking his computer mouse.

The FantasySharks website was filled, with articles galore,

Team Kibbles and Vick, a team any fantasy owner would adore.

The wife was nestled, all snug in her bed,

While visions of cooking shows, danced in her head.

Sparky (dog) in his green and gold pajamas, and I in my cap,

Were not quite ready, for that long winter nap.

Glaring on the screen, was so much shark chatter,

Overwhelming enough, to make Einstein’s brain scatter.

On that Great White screen, I found no hint of trash,

But my blue hands got red fast, with a mild heat rash.

The Grey Report, Prognosticator, and IDP Manor,

Enough smart advice, no need for financial planners.

A heavy Dose of Reality, plus Risers and Fallers,

Drew Brees and Aaron Rodgers, true fantasy ballers.

So much information, but not enough time,

If I don’t finish reading, I won’t feel sublime.

Fantasy Intelligence Report, yeah it’s my top bookmark,

Cause loving is what I got, for this fantasy shark.

“Now Foster now, Welker! Now, Keller and Newton!

On, Akers On, Rice! On Mathews and Johnson!

To my starting lineup, take me to fantasy gold!

Winning big championships, it never gets old!”

Tebow is pure magic, Gronkowski pure beast,

My stomach is full, after Christmas Eve feast.

I cranked a big yawn, blew snot in my soft rag

It must be Christmas morning, I’m starting to lag.

And then across the house, I heard evil moaning,

I shrugged it off with a snicker, my mind was still churning.

As I continued to explore, the shark waters with calm,

Down the hall came a voice, as explosive as a fire bomb.

She hooted and hollered, as she came near,

She used a few curse words, I was quivering in fear.

Her body was almost bare, with green and gold shimmer,

She was strong as an ox, an Olympic gold medal swimmer.

What would come next, was a pleasant surprise,

Sparkling gold dust floated, on my keyboard like fireflies.

My excited knees buckled, my eyes teared the light.

At this point I wished, my cup wasn’t on so tight.

“Vick or Eli, I really can’t sleep,”

“Wells or Lynch, I feel the need to weep.”

“Who can forget Smith and Cruz, I feel so foolish,”

“Help me please, I don’t want to sleep in anguish.”

A tear drop hit, the keyboard with force,

The wife had me choked up, I was her prime resource.

With a swift mouse hand, and a crack in my throat,

I pointed the homepage, my fantasy sharks showboat.

 “Click the Start/Bench report, for starting lineup advice,

Find out What We Learned, don’t roll the dice.”

The Feeding Frenzy will tickle, your fantasy tongue,

The Brew Crew Corner, it’s not the typical repetitive dung.”

I spoke no more words, just backed away quick,

I had no more advice, and I smelled like garlic.

I walked quietly to my room, leaving my pharaoh,

I was desperate for my head, to hit that big fluffy pillow!

I closed my brown eyes, with fantasies on my mind,

But was quickly awoken, by a voice not far behind.

“Who wrote that silly poem, it was very forthright?”

“The writer’s name is Eric Huber, now please, good-night!”

W.16.F.H.S. – Week 16 F.I.R. Hot Sheet

The weekly hot sheet is intended to give fantasy owners a quick reference guide/card to help with the filling of starting lineups. It is in Google Docs format, and is provided below.




Keep Christ in Christmas! Thanks for reading!

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