The end is near. Fantasy playoffs have started and that means my work is done. Seriously, what do you need people like me for at this point? Isn’t it just who to start? Hit me up on Twitter for that stuff. Why am I writing a column? If you’re reading this, didn’t you make your fantasy playoffs? There are only a handful of players to pick up off the waiver wire. Why don’t I just go to bed?
I guess Fantasy Sharks wants me to put out something. We already know Ryan Tannehill is a blockhead. Miami can fire all the offensive coordinators it wants but as long as the Dolphins have that blockhead at quarterback, they aren’t winning anything.
We already know Ben McAdoo may be the worst play caller in the history of the NFL. Seriously, rotate in another running back. It’s always good to use five running backs when none of them do anything. It’s especially smart to use the worst one the most. Andre Williams is the worst running back in professional football. If the Giants cut him he would just be Terrance West. Trust me, I don’t mean that as a compliment. I mean he would flounder around to a couple of different teams until he falls out of the NFL in two years. Williams does nothing well. Make sure to get that guy in the game as much as possible.
Finally, we already know the only reason John Fox won’t retire is because he despises fantasy football players. The guy has two stud running backs so what does he do? He puts in Ka’Deem Carey, of course. This shouldn’t surprise anyone. I’ve said for years that if I could fight one person in my backyard because of fantasy football, it would be Fox. He’s been screwing fantasy owners with his handling of running backs for over a decade. I’ll fight him any day in my backyard. I’m guaranteeing victory too. I mean Fox is 60.
Good luck in your fantasy playoffs. I like to think I had a hand in helping you get there, even if it’s not true. You can follow me on Twitter @ThePigskinGuy.
Now on with The Fire Sale…
Here are my top players to add at each position for the fantasy playoffs. These are the guys most likely to be left on a majority of waiver wires. If you still have Doug Baldwin or David Johnson on your waiver wire, obviously pick up those guys first.
Ryan Fitzpatrick, QB New York Jets – There are a few quarterbacks left on the waiver wire but Fitzpatrick is probably the best of the bunch when you look at all the factors.
Marcus Mariota is playing well. He’ll be a hot pickup if he’s still available. However, Mariota closes the season with the Jets, Texans and Patriots. That’s a murderous three-game stretch. In comparison, Fitzpatrick gets the Titans, Cowboys and Patriots. That’s no walk in the park either, but much more manageable.
Fitzpatrick has now scored at least 17 fantasy points in each of his last five games. He’s only owned in about 60 percent of leagues. Grab Fitz if you aren’t thrilled with your quarterback situation heading into the playoffs.
James White, RB New England – The Patriots surprisingly fell way behind to the Eagles on Sunday, so White was a big factor as a receiver. He caught 10 passes for 115 yards and a touchdown.
Obviously, the Patriots aren’t going to fall behind like that every week, but White should start seeing a bigger role on offense. Every time there are injuries in the Patriots’ backfield I warn to pass on Brandon Bolden because he’s a core special teams player and little more. Now Bolden was used over White versus Denver but I believe that had to do with the snowy conditions. Sometimes backs like White aren’t as effective on a slippery field.
White isn’t Dion Lewis and he likely won’t rack up 100 yards receiving again but he can help owners hurting at running back over the next couple of weeks.
DeVante Parker, Miami – The Dolphins caught a break on Sunday. They played a Baltimore team that has about as much gas left in the tank as they do. Seriously, that was probably the worst game I saw all year.
Miami’s defense won’t have it so easy the rest of the way. They face Eli Manning, Philip Rivers and potentially Andrew Luck during fantasy playoffs. That blockhead Tannehill won’t be able to pass for 80 yards again. He’ll have to do his thing where he stinks in the first half, the Dolphins get behind and then Tannehill puts up garbage points so people who didn’t see the game think he’s a decent NFL quarterback.
That’s where Parker comes into play. After doing nothing all year, Parker has now scored in back-to-back games. In those two games, Parker has been targeted 15 times. With Rishard Matthews out, Parker should continue to be a big part of the passing game for the rest of the season.
Richard Rodgers, TE Green Bay – Rodgers saved the Packers season by pulling in the easiest Hail Mary ever over three linebackers who couldn’t jump. So why were there five linebackers on the field? Oh, because Jim Caldwell didn’t think the Packers would try a Hail Mary pass.
Raise your hand if you were watching the Lions/Packers game last Thursday and didn’t think Aaron Rodgers was going to try a Hail Mary after that facemask penalty? I’m guessing that unless Caldwell reads The Fire Sale, no one has their hand raised.
Caldwell thought Green Bay was going to try a bunch of laterals. Apparently he’s the only person on earth who hasn’t seen Rodgers throw a ball before.
Richard Rodgers is interesting. Sure, his big game could be a fluke or a game-plan specific performance. However, given how disappointing the Packers receivers have been over the last month, he could also turn into one of Rodgers’ top targets for the rest of the season.
With the current state of fantasy tight ends, Rodgers is certainly worth adding coming off his big game.
Sneaky Starts: Week 14
TE: Rodgers, Green Bay – Jim Caldwell doesn’t think the Packers will throw the ball to Rodgers this week. That’s good enough for me.
DEF: Jacksonville Jaguars – The only time you ever consider starting a defense that just gave up 42 points is if Charlie Whitehurst might start at quarterback. If there’s not a better quarterback than Whitehurst playing in the CFL, I’ll eat my hat.