Initially built by NASA to set lines for the Las Vegas casinos in the late 50’s (who do you think funded the Apollo missions? The government? It was the mob…), The Sin City Betbot 6000 calculated lines for over 30 years. The Betbot was given various upgrades through the years, not always with the best equipment, but he was very good at setting lines, and living the good life.
The Betbot was de-commissioned in 1990 after San Francisco destroyed Denver in the Super Bowl. The 45 point spread simply fried a number of the Betbot’s wires and he retired. The Betbot was discovered by Fantasysharks.com and retooled to give fantasy advice. He lives now to give his own unique, well cultured take on the NFL.The Sin City Betbot 6000 Presents is transcribed by Joe Petrizzi and Tom Walls because “typing.. .BZZT… is a dame’s job”.
Good news! I’m getting an extension…BZT… to my suite at the Bellagio. They’re putting an infinity pool on my balcony. So – I’ll be staying at my old suite in Circus Circus. Between the construction, me being at my old pad and Thanksgiving travel – I’ll be too busy to spread wisdom your way on Friday, so you get some early love this week.
My travel will be pretty crazy – here’s a bleeping rundown.
Tuesday 26 NOV – I arrive in Boston. I will spend time with Gisele Bundchen and my kids in Boston. I’m looking for someone to watch the kids for about 45 minutes that afternoon. I’m guessing around 2:15 PM, if things go well. 2:45 if Gisele only has two martinis.
Wednesday 27 NOV – My ex, Svetlana, will be joining me in Villanova, PA. This is where I completed my MBA and PhD (Religion). I’ll be on QVC for an hour…BZZZT… in nearby West Chester, PA hawking my Sin City Betbot 6000 Stainless Barware (the deal with Target fell through). Check it out. I think I’ll be on right after Joan Rivers. I hope she bleeping forgives me for New Year’s Eve 1975. Geez…awkward! After the QVC gig, I’m heading over to Gullifty’s and will begin a little pub crawl with Svetlana down Lancaster Avenue. If you see me, first round’s on me! Hands off Svetlana, though.
Thursday 28 NOV – Svetlana and I will jet it back to Las Vegas. A nice dinner of turkey, yams and knishes (it’s Hanukkah too, you know). We’ll imbibe some martinis and then a final Session of Sweet for the night.
Friday 29 NOV – I send Svetlana back to Sparks, NV; where she now lives, and I settle in for a long weekend of football.
The Giants finally played a semi-competent team in the Cowboys and finally put that ridiculous “comeback” to bed. Now if the Cowboys who played the Saints and Eagles would have shown up – the Giants would have won handily and we’d have to put up with more nonsense. I’m not buying the Giants defensive resurgence – at all.
I kind of expected Washington to rebound with better play offensively against the Niners. They looked good running the ball against the Eagles, but refused to pass until they were down three TDs. But that Monday night game turned into a real trash can fire. The longest Washington drive in the second half went for nine yards. And at some point, Mike Shanahan
made this face
. I’m sorry, but that’s a wrap for the 2013 Washington Redskins. Good thing RG3 came back early from his knee injury.
You smell that? I think it’s the Bears. They were schizophrenic before Cutler got hurt. They’re been even more off-kilter since then. Something is rotten over there.
The Rams – maybe they have their offensive identity now with Zac Stacy and someone not named Sam Bradford at QB. Maybe they can be a classic ground & pound team with a few play action passes thrown in. They won’t be making the playoffs this year – it will be interesting to see if the Rams stick with Bradford after this season. They should at …BZT…least draft some bleeping competition for the underperforming Bradford. One nice thing for them – they get Washington’s first round pick, which looks like it will be a top-10 player.
Oh, that Sunday night game between New England and Denver was exactly what we needed to close out the weekend…right up until the bleepin’ ending! Look folks, I already hate that play – why is a punt not just dead when it inadvertently hits a blocker on the return team? But to have such an emotional game end in OT because of that nonsense…BZT…well let’s just say I am not pleased.
The part where we buy our Turkeys with CASH
4:30…OAK +9.5 over DAL – I am not expecting much from the Raiders but the Cowboys don’t really have the defense to be laying that many points, even on Thanksgiving. Watch out for a backdoor cover by Maulin’ Matt McGloin!
8:30…PIT +3 over BAL – After a day spent stuffing ourselves with turkey and wine, we get this game featuring two teams who haven’t been able to score all season. I like the zzzzz….
So long for now, and remember “Showgirls and gin my friends, showgirls and …BZT…gin.”