Sunday - Apr 18, 2021

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I am not Frank Sinatra’s Kid

Initially built by NASA to set lines for the Las Vegas casinos in the late 50’s (who do you think funded the Apollo missions? The government? It was the mob…), The Sin City Betbot 6000 calculated lines for over 30 years. The Betbot was given various upgrades through the years, not always with the best equipment, but he was very good at setting lines, and living the good life.

The Betbot was de-commissioned in 1990 after San Francisco destroyed Denver in the Super Bowl. The 45 point spread simply fried a number of the Betbot’s wires and he retired. The Betbot was discovered by and retooled to give fantasy advice. He lives now to give his own unique, well cultured take on the NFL.The Sin City Betbot 6000 Presents is transcribed by Joe Petrizzi and Tom Walls because “typing.. .BZZT… is a dame’s job.”

Mia Farrow is a Close Personal Friend of Mine (CPFOM). I’ve been her friend since she first burst onto the scene as a ingenue in the 1960’s. I was in the wedding party for her marriage to Ol’ Blue Eyes. Now Frank Sinatra is also a CPFOM. You would know this if you read my column over the years. My memories of Frank are all golden. I was…BZT… his friend, advisor and most importantly, confidant. Frank poured his heart out to me over many topics. I could go on and on about the subjects Sinatra relied on me on as a prime consigliore. As a matter of fact, that sounds like a great idea – I’ll do exactly this. Here we go:

  • Marilyn Monroe

  • JFK

  • Angie Dickinson

  • Marilyn Monroe & JFK

  • The mob

  • Good  scotch

  • Ava Gardner

  • His children – Nancy & Frank Jr.

  • Sammy Davis Jr.

  • Italian food

  • Movie roles – I advised Frank on numerous films. One of my favorites was his role as John Leland in
    The Detective

    , which was based on a novel of the same name. There was a sequel to that novel written named
    Nothing Lasts Forever
    . That novel was made into a movie in 1988. The character, John Leland’s name was changed to John McClane and the movie was released with the name
    Die Hard
    . Sinatra was obviously too old to play the role Bruce Willis (CPFOM) played, but really, Sinatra was the first guy to play that character in film. I believe that I really was the impetus for the movie
    The Detective
    to get made; and in a lot of ways, I’m responsible for Bruce Willis’ movie career.

  • Jacqueline Bisset

  • Real estate

  • Mia Farrow

Ah, Mia. You know there’s been some news this past week about  the correct parentage of Mia’s son, Ronan Farrow, who…BZZZT… was born in 1986. Rumors are hot right now that Ronan’s true father is Ol’ Blue Eyes himself; not Woody Allen. WOODY ALLEN??!! Take a look at the kid, he’s almost a carbon copy of Frank. without the golden pipes – the kid can’t carry a tune. Too bad.

Anyhow… the important thing here is that I am responsible for the Die Hard series, and should be compensated proportionately.


Tampa Bay. Good gosh. “You know, a rat is a rat is a rat.” – my friend
Joey “Five Dollar Holler” Dolaherelli said that. He was talking about someone who was skimming off the top at the casino he ran in the 70s, the Sands. Maybe you heard of it? Anyway – I smell a rat. Many people have written about the situation with Josh Freeman. I don’t care what comes out – all the info about Freeman is being leaked by someone in the front office of the Buccaneers.

It’s disgusting. This campaign against Freeman is very troubling. Roger Goodell absolutely has to get to the bottom of this situation, and take the responsible party to task. Tampa Bay is shoddily run organization. I’m no fan of Freeman’s play these last two years, but the smear campaign BASED ON SUPPOSEDLY CONFIDENTIAL INFORMATION is very disturbing. Players must feel confident that information taken & generated by the league and franchises is held in confidence. If Goodell doesn’t find the rat, there will be hell to pay from the NFLPA.

I expected the Saints to win the NFC South, but the Falcons are really surprising me with their lackluster play. They do generate yards, but seem to fall flat when it comes time to score; or stop scoring in the first three quarters of games. The NFC is atrocious, so they can get in as a wildcard; but Matt Ryan needs to wake up, and the defense needs to get healthy fast.

It seems like all offenses can get very healthy very quickly against the Rams and Eagles defenses. They are atrocious. If you have any Giants, play them this week! I’m looking at you David Wilson, time to put up or shut up. And hey, the Rams play the Jaguars – this is the one week to play your Jags. Go nuts, Blaine Gabbert!

The Bears are fun to watch. Jay Cutler seems to have bought into the system Marc Trestman put in. I was worried at the start of the season that the players on offense would revolt against the system, particularly Brandon Marshall. The offense has risen to the level of their defense (almost). So far, so good – I expect the Bears to make some noise for the rest of the 2013 campaign and into the playoffs.


There isn’t much that is going to bring Pittsburgh back from their 0-4 start, but I have to say I like the way Le’Veon Bell runs behind that noxious offensive line. Once he is healthy, this kid could be a player. In other news, Ben Roethlisberger is probably not going to finish the season. You just can’t have that little pass protection and expect to survive all 16 weeks.

Something just isn’t right with Cincinnati. On one hand, they look like a playoff team – decent QB, a legit playmaker in A.J. Green, plus a defense that wants to put you in traction. Geno Atkins is one nasty dude. He reminds me of a Samoan bouncer I used to know. We called him “Tank” – this cat used to flip trucks in his spare time, which is even more impressive since lunch consisted of a case of High Life tall boys. Anyway, back to the Bengals – how in the world do you let the Browns beat you? I would be a lot more confident if Marvin Lewis were the defensive coordinator, and not the head coach.

While we are talking about the Browns, that is one heck of a defense they have over in Cleveland, too. All three levels have playmakers – Phil Taylor, Barkevious Mingo, Joe Haden. I love watching them smack people around for sport. A shame they can’t find a QB – had Brandon Weeden not been a complete bust you could see this team contending right now. This team may want to kick the tires on Josh Freeman now that he is available, the AFC North is wide open. Also, Willis McGahee looks like he is running in quicksand with concrete shoes.

I certainly didn’t see the Titans coming out of the gate like this, and even though they are an also-ran I can’t help but notice their tasty, tasty schedule. They still get to play the Jaguars twice! Chris Johnson called out his fantasy owners on Twitter recently – not cool, dude. We are the only reason you are still relevant – trust me, your 3.3 yards per carry aren’t getting you in the paper. Let’s see if Ryan Fitzpatrick can hold down the fort until Jake Locker gets back in a month or so. OK, I’m laughing too.

Before we start stroking Andy Reid’s moustache – the combined record of Kansas City’s opponents through four weeks: 3-13. They are getting fat off the putrid NFC East, and that is not a dig at Reid’s waistline. Consider them more along the lines of the Chargers, or the Titans – not really contenders but capable of putting a run like this together when the stars align.

FanDuel Sunday Double Up Line Up

Fantasy Sharks has partnered up with 


this season, and some of us will be participating in a few different contests. I’ve decided to go for the $300k Sunday Bomb this week. Basically, I bet some money that I can pick better week-to-week fantasy players (with a fictional salary cap) than half the jamokes in the contest with me. Like I said, easy money.

Here’s a rundown of my team with some key comments (team lineup may change with injury news post publication of this column).

QB – Philip Rivers

RB – Bilal Powell

RB – DeMarco Murray – playing matchups with Powell & Murray. I think the Cowboys keep it close at home versus the Broncos.

WR – Kenbrell Thompkins

WR – Alshon Jeffery

WR – Demaryius Thomas – This guy’s first name is very difficult to spell.

TE – Jimmy Graham

K – Dan Bailey

D – Philadelphia – The Giants O-line is good for a couple sacks

So long for now, and remember “Showgirls and gin my friends, showgirls and …BZT…gin.”

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