You can see it in our eyes. An occasional twitch, a quick glance at a particular bumper sticker, hours reading and re-reading the minuscule section of the sports page grudgingly devoted to football. Football fans have pre-season fever…and like any fever, can’t wait for camp to go away and let the season come in all its gridiron glory.
We got a small fix a while back, a tiny whiff thanks to the draft. For a few short days football was the talk on ESPN. Two glorious days of coverage and speculation on who the next generation of superstars and uber flops will be.
It was too short-lived.
For now America’s Game dominates television. It’s enough to make a real man take up knitting. After all, baseball isn’t really a sport, at least no more than golf is. You carry a stick, swing at a little white ball. Wow. Exciting.
Can’t play in bad weather? Football players play even if they can’t see (Remember FogBowl?)
Guys get mad and the benches clear when someone throws a ball at some other guys head. In football “head hunters” are revered for their place in the highlight reels. In golf someone yells “fore” if an errant shot flies towards some other small group sipping beer and waiting for their turn. No grunts or smacks. No bodies flying, no triple somersault with a twist before gravity reasserts its will. No satisfying, bone-jarring crashing of bodies to get a guy’s blood running hot. What kinda wimpy sport is that? Heck, they even dress funny!
A pitchers Duel? Boring. Gimme that good ol’ fashion rompin’, stompin’ sharpie flashin’ football any day. And let’s face it…football commercials kick butt all over baseball commercials. When was the last time you heard sports fans wondering what commercial would air during the World Series? Advertisers would rather buy time on Friends or Seinfeld. Bring on the twins.
In the mean time we’ll wonder if Jamal Lewis really was foolish enough to hook a brotha up, or if he was just a target of overzealous law enforcement. We’ll moan about Ricky and his decision to go all rastah. We’ll target the rookies like Larry Fitzgerald, Julius Jones, Stephen Jackson et al, while wondering if we should risk a draft round on Eli of the Manning Dynasty.
Injuries are a big part of pre-season. Hammys twang, bones break, heads get knocked and in the end, when the season finally, blissfully comes around, someone is playing football.
The Poston brothers guarantee themselves a spotlight every year. This time it’s Kellen Winslow Jr., Gonzo’s annointed usurper. The next king of the TE position, and he knows it. Enough to turn down the best deal ever offered a TE as “not good enough.”
Will Keyshawn shut his darn mouth and just catch the balls he’s thrown? Will Anquan Boldin repeat his phenomenal rookie season? Will Ryan Leaf attempt a comeback? (He hosted Mike Price and wife when Mikey was hiding after the Bama bust, so I figure he might think there is a chance…he’ll go undrafted in any fantasy league I play in)
Yup. For now we live in our fantasy worlds, waiting for the words…
ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?
(Maybe a little Lisa Guerrero for seasoning?)