Tuesday - Mar 9, 2021

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Just Thinking Out Loud XXIV

Proving once again that the American public has little clue: John Stevens. I mean, his rendition of “Mandy” on Barry Manilow night was worse than deplorable (Simon’s words), it was criminal (my words). Not that I’d know first hand or anything. And why no one chose to sing Copacabana is beyond me.

Memo to Huggies and Pampers: Any chance we can have completely blank products for your customers? It would REALLY help us out. Or at least have everything in the same box be exactly the same? Getting thru the Pampers was tough, though my little one would eventually wear the Ernie diapers after the Cookie Monster, Elmo, and Big Bird one’s were gone. The Huggies pull ups are a different story, she just won’t wear the ones with only one princess on them. She demands, “I want TWO!” (though there are actually three on there). Please??

And speaking of which, here’s a free idea: Can someone come up with children’s shoes that can go on either foot? Is it really necessary that they be that different at such a young age? Just another area of conflict that I’m sure parents all over would welcome some assistance with.

I suppose there are worse song lyrics to get stuck in your head, but the “We like tacos” part of Sophie B Hawkins’ “As I lay me down” song are tough to shake.

Shouldn’t the horses on the outside gates in the Kentucky Derby be angled so they start slightly ahead of those fortunate enough to be in an inside gate? Seems to be an awful lot of extra ground those horses have to cover.

Of all the shows being brought back and reality this and that, can’t we get someone to bring back the Gong Show? Chuck Barris, Jaye P Morgan and Jamie Farr HAVE to be available to work it. And what of the Unknown Comic? DAH-da-dum-dum-DAH-da-dum-dum…..oh, the memories…these are the things I dream of, I’m not asking for much, am I?

Had the pleasure (?) of spending a couple days on the New York thru way over the weekend on my way to and from Rochester. First off, what’s with all the bugs? You cross into NY and your windshield is plastered, only to be cleaned by pulling over at a rest area to scrub. Secondly, would be nice if the ‘stay right except to pass’ signs were being adhered to, I can’t tell you how many cars I had to blow past in the right lane.

Had the misfortune of making this drive the day of the Williams verdict being announced. The only station that wasn’t country music that I could get was the FAN, which normally wouldn’t be a bad thing, except it was all about Williams, then the Yankees game came on, ick on all fronts.

Anyone else able to figure out the NBA? Round two of the playoffs has apparently begun, yet Round One isn’t complete yet? Hmmm.

I’ve been told that HBO has removed the ‘N’ warning before airing the Sopranos (since I no longer watch it myself). First they stopped killing people, now there’s no skin….they may as well post ‘NG’ (Not Good) before the broadcast. A sad situation. The Sopranos has fallen faster than Must See TV.

Does anyone use a fax machine anymore?

I know I’ve said this 100 times already, but can’t something be done about TicketMaster and their “convenient charges”? As if that wasn’t high enough, they tack on an ADDITIONAL processing charge!!?! Arrg!

For a guy that was saying he’d be ready for opening day, Nomar Garciapparra has missed an awful lot of time.

It’s funny, the “off season” thinking column is sometimes tough to keep on top of. Since it usually spans a couple of months (instead of a couple of weeks “in season”), many of the thoughts are outdated by the time it hits the website. When I started off this column, I was thinking that a sure sign of May was that gas prices go up three cents a day for every day in a week. Then a week became two weeks, which became an entire month. $1.60 when I began this column, in excess of $2.20 now. Ridiculous.

Speaking of which, can’t the gas stations that are ripping us off at least spend the $0.50 a piece for the extra number “2”s? As if it’s bad enough we have to pay the exorbinant price, but the handwritten price makes it hurt that much more.

Memo to PETA: I’m taking my kid to the circus, is it necessary for the protesters outside the arena to stuff propaganda in my face? Not classy.

I have a multitude of thoughts regarding the Survivor Finale…

How about Boston Rob playing the game right up to the end, proposing to Amber to insure he gets at least half of the winnings?

Memo to Lex and Big Tom: It IS a game. Their ridiculous speech to Rob at the final tribal council bordered slanderous. I mean, weren’t they doing the EXACT thing that Rob was doing? Indeed they were.

Is it me, or did both Rob and Amber look better after spending 40 days on an island?

Ok, enough about Survivor.  Next time, I’m really not watching it…unless someone fires up a pool. 

There are many words that go along nicely together, and conversely, there are many that don’t. The words groin and surgery in the same sentence are two that fall into the latter category.

Speaking of words, I can’t even begin to get into what is wrong with the following: “Live, in concert at Fenway Park – Jimmy Buffet! No tailgating. No alcohol.”

I like the interleague baseball games, gives me a chance to see teams that I haven’t seen before. I still don’t understand how the powers that be can’t arrange it so that every team plays EVERY team for at least one three game series, but that’s besides the point. What about this for an idea, since each league’s fans think their rules are best, why not pull an NHL and play with the visiting teams rules (ie. DH vs no DH). I wonder how many National League “purists” would still think theirs is the better league after getting a nice taste of some real baseball.

Lastly, can we finally take Phil Jackson out of the upper echelon of coaches? I’ve been saying this for a while, this year’s NBA finals another example proving my point.

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