We are nearly at our halfway mark of the year. Midseason awards will be in the next week. But before we get there, it’s time to look in the mirror, and admit all the things I’ve done wrong this year.
I am sorry…
For not keeping Devonta Freeman in the seventh round of this year’s keeper league;
And then dropping Devonta Freeman after trading for him with pennies, an orange peel, and a rusty nail;
And then realizing after Devonta Freeman broke out that he would have been a ninth-round keeper next year had I not dropped him, as a result of him being drafted in the 10th;
For telling readers, friends, and random people at the grocery store to believe in Christine Michael’s talent and future Dallas workload;
Seriously, I am sorry for that one;
Apparently, he is not as good as we (I) thought;
For hoodwinking multiple league members into selling me top-tier prospects for garbage I found on the waiver wire;
I’m not sorry for that last one. Just wanted to brag.
For believing that Colin Kaepernick was anything more than a middling QB2 who has to have just the right matchup to succeed;
Seriously, I feel as though if Kaepernick does anything well, it’s by some sort of mysterious force guiding his passes.
For clapping at the Chicago Bears fan who was escorted out of Ford Field game a few weeks ago;
I should have tossed some popcorn instead;
For not making earlier reference to some of my most loyal weekly readers in this column yet;
Here’s to you Dan, Cam, Dana, Fred, & Jeff;
Sorry I haven’t led you all to undefeated seasons;
May the rest of your years be full of wins;
For telling all the people around me, leaguemates and family included, that I am going to quit fantasy football halfway through each Sunday slate of games when my team underperforms;
Apparently, I can be a drama queen.