Friday - Apr 26, 2019

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Keeping Ahead: Texting Fantasy Redux

Last year, one of my more popular articles of this column was simply a series of text messages from a group of my friends and family. If you missed it, you can read it by clicking here.

In it, I identified them all directly – by name – and with approval from each of them, shared the ups and downs of their football-fueled weekend via their text messages to me. It was a good glimpse into just how insane fantasy sports can be, and the waves of emotion that can make, or break, all your hard work. I enjoyed writing it, and from the feedback I received, many of you enjoyed seeing it.

Well, I am bringing it back this year, but with a twist.

I am coaching someone. She’s a family member of mine, and new to the game of fantasy football, and though a quick study and uber-competitive, she is still learning the ropes of this silly thing we do every week. We talked at length before and during her live draft, crafting what we thought would be an excellent team in her 12-person points per reception league, and prepared for this past weekend by discussing just the right combination of flex and starter plays.

The catch? We are doing all this privately.

See, her husband of many years has this fantasy league. And, after much opining, has granted access to his Sunday tradition to his beloved wife. His competitive, smart, resourceful wife. So resourceful, in fact, that she contacted me to be her silent mentor – helping her learn the ropes while attempting to kick some serious ass. It was a position I was honored to take, and as the first full weekend of the NFL was set to kick off, was hoping she would have the chance to feel the thrill of excitement, in victory or defeat.

Her Week 1 opponent? Her husband.

Oh, boy.

Sunday

9:57 a.m. – Your team all set??? Ready to do this!

11:01 a.m. – Flex position is stressing me out. Stewart or Davante Adams or Hyde??????

11:05 a.m. – Phew. So nervous.

11:06 a.m. – What’s your starters so I can track them?

11:15 a.m. – He [husband] says he’s confident he will beat me.

1:04 p.m. – He is getting in my head.

1:04 p.m. – :(

1:05 p.m. – He is freaking out a bit. His Mike Evans is out and he doesn’t have another avail WR on his bench.

1:05 p.m. – I’m chuckling.

1:05 p.m. – To myself of course.

1:06 p.m. – He’s fuming.

1:06 p.m. – He said such bad team management by himself.

1:07 p.m. – Ha maybe I should trade him, but too late I think.

1:10 p.m. – He should have put Mike Evans in flex spot. And then he could have switched it at last minute.

2:20 p.m. – Marshawn and Miller need points.

3:10 p.m. – :( :( :(

3:10 p.m. – My guys not doing much.

6:34 p.m. – My bench Kendall Wright is killing it…dang it.

6:36 p.m. – Ugh so frustrating. Thinking of picking up Mariota….He would sit on bench until my bye week but that way no one else can use him on their bye weeks.

6:42 p.m. – Owen Daniels.

6:42 p.m. – He did nothing.

10:21 p.m. – Ok so this is not fun…it’s so freaking stressful.

Monday

9:23 a.m. – Eli Manning did nothing last night.

9:24 a.m. – :(

9:26 a.m. – First week jitters.

9:27 a.m. – [When asked about the score of her matchup] Oh I won’t catch him.

9:28 a.m. – Julio will have to get huge numbers and Bradford needs to do bad.

9:29 a.m. – Ha ha oh well.

6:56 p.m. – Ju-li-o! Ju-li-o!

8:00 p.m. – [Julio scores his first of two touchdowns] Hell yes!!!

8:00 p.m. – I was screaming and jumping.

8:02 p.m. – I need another Julio TD.

8:02 p.m. – He’s my fav

8:34 p.m. – [Second TD for Julio] Ya!!!!!!!!

8:34 p.m. – He [husband] is sweating.

8:34 p.m. – Not talking.

8:36 p.m. – Def need to get a Julio shirt.

8:41 p.m. – I need another Julio TD.

9:58 p.m. – Need some more from Julio.

10:00 p.m. – Come on Julio.

10:03 p.m. – [Falcons regain possession after missed FG and run three straight running plays] What?? No more passes????

10:04 p.m. – Ugh.

10:04 p.m. – Dang it.

10:05 p.m. – Yea this is over crap.

10:06 p.m. – Next week.

Tuesday

8:09 a.m. – This weekend was the most I’ve ever watched football in my life.

*****

About MJ Brown

MJ Brown has been an avid fantasy football keeper league enthusiast and player for over a decade. A member of the Fantasy Sports Writers Association, MJ delivers weekly content on multiple platforms, bringing a combination of advice, humor, and tips to keep your team at the top of your league.