I would have to say a weekend without your favorite team
is not the best thing in the world, but it did give me the chance to actually
watch other teams. The first thing I noticed was there are other teams in the NFL.
Apparently, all this time, there are 31 other teams in the league other then
the 49ers. When your football revolves around just one team, who has time to
notice or even care about the others? Not me, that’s for sure. Well, anyway, I
don’t even know the point I was making. Oh yeah, now I remember: I hate
flipping hate bye weeks.
Now, on to the Top 10 at 11. Each week we take a team of
27 trained monkeys and they do hours and hours of research to come up with the
greatest Top 10 in the history of your family tree. In fact, it is so awesome
that it has the courage to go all the way up to 11. That is exactly one better
then 10. How do I know? All those years of algebra are really stating to pay
off. When my trained monkeys look at their research, they only look at what a
team has done this year. Since they are monkeys and they are trained, they
don’t worry about hype or anything that happened before this year. They are the
best trained research monkeys ever, plus they work for bananas.
1. New Orleans
I don’t know about you, but this offense is downright
scary. Did you see how Drew Brees took what he wanted from the Giants like he
was playing backyard football? The Giants defense are no slouches and the
Saints systematically (I just learned that word!) destroyed them. That offense
can run at will and they can pass at will. It also seems that their defense is
putting pressure on the opposing quarterback while stopping the run and life is
lovely in the Louisiana
My monkeys informed me that this team was also on a bye.
If you are a Colts fan, let me ask you a question: did it not seem a little
empty this week? I know my fantasy teams missed Peyton Manning and Dallas
Clark. Even though, they took a break, Peyton still threw for three TDs but I
left him on my bench for Matt Hasslebeck? Somebody, go ahead and shoot me now.
Despite all that, that they are the second best team in all the land. Some
little part of me wants to see the Saints and Colts in the Super Bowl. Now,
3. Denver Broncos (6-0)
I never ever thought that I would have put the Broncos in
the Top 10, so them being in the Top 3 is a shock to the system. Not only can
they win at home, after beating the Chargers they are proving to be a good road
team. Not that San Diego
is any good, but it is a division rival and used to be a tough opponent. If you
have sinned against the Broncos and didn’t believe, then it will be okay. Kyle
Orton will forgive you because he is a merciful savior. He has the beard and
The Vikings are the luckiest undefeated team in all the
land. They should have been beaten twice if not for a fluke pass and the fact
that the Ravens can’t kick straight. However, it is what it is and they are
still undefeated. I guess I have to give them respect, well, everyone except
for Brett Favre. I still think he will cost them later on down the season.
Well, I hope anyway. If I see Favre in the Super Bowl, I swear I will skip it
and watch reruns of Desperate Housewives with my monkeys.
5. New York
Just because you get blown out by the best team in the
league at their place doesn’t mean that suddenly you are a terrible team. It is
one loss and I don’t believe anybody thought the Giants were the second coming
of the ‘72 Dolphins. They are still leading one of the toughest divisions in
football, thanks to the Oakland Raiders. You remember them; you played them in
a “scrimmage” last week. They did you a huge favor by beating the Eagles so be
nice to all the Raider fans.
Wow, the Falcons are better then I thought. Mike Smith has
this team playing solid, mistake-free football. Nothing ever seems to flap Matt
Ryan as he is as cool as they come throwing the ball to Roddy White and now Tony
Gonzalez, who has proven to be a beneficial offseason pickup. After crushing
the ‘Niners on the road, they showed how good they were against the Bears on
primetime. It is just too bad for them that they play in the same division as
7. New England Patriots
I am not impressed as much as some on how the shellacked
the downtrodden Tennessee Titans in the snow at Gillette. I am still concerned
about Tom Brady and his confidence in his knee. This game could be the launch
point in him finally becoming the old Brady of old. The team is still
consistent and by that I mean they still find ways to win. Some say it might
have been classless that they were running up the score. The way I look at it
is the Titans get paid to play football, so shut up and play football. I would
be more worried about getting Brady hurt again.
When Matt Schaub got finished shredding the Bengals
secondary, there was finally some peace and quiet and no sounds of “Who Dey?”
It was music to my ears, but unfortunately I don’t think it will last that long
because even though they lost, this team is still pretty good and once the
offense catches up with the defense, I will be hearing “Who Dey?” in my sad
I can already hear the complaining coming from the Steeler
fans, now. Why are we still lower then the Bengals? We are better then them.
Did you see how they got beat last week and we won?. I know it is coming but
the fact still remains that the Bengals beat you. But, if it is any
consolation, it seems you are finally running the ball and the defense is coming
around. Who knows? Maybe one day you will be better then the Bengals, again.
The Ravens are becoming the kings of close misses and
losses. After three straight losses by the skin of their cold dark beaks, some
may be wondering just how good this team is. Well, not me and my staff of
trained monkeys, as we believe that they will only benefit by the experience. And,
oh yeah, it is official: Ray Rice is officially the featured back in that
offense and should be a fantasy stud for many weeks to come.
There are times when Jay Cutler throws the ball, you are
staring in amazement and drool all over the pretty passes. On the other hand,
there are times you wonder what the in the world is he thinking? He did that
quite a bit against the Falcons. The Bears finally got a legitimate quarterback
and now their offense is suddenly the second coming of the Colts. I mean, come
on … Cutler is no chosen one as there is only one Kyle Orton.
Notes From Beyond Common Sense and Drunken Monkeys
What has happened to the Tennessee Titanics? I keep
hearing that Jeff Fisher might be in trouble and while it may be true that he
has wore out his welcome, he is still one of the best coaches in the league. It
doesn’t help losing Albert Haynesworth and they did lose their defensive
coordinator to the Lions and replacing him with Chuck Cecil. Maybe the message
is growing stale. At this point, it might be time to play Vince Young and see
what they have and if they need to draft a franchise quarterback.
I had a tough decision to make last week in fantasy
football between Matt Hasselbeck and Ben Roethlisberger, and because every
projection site had them so close I was over thinking it again. My gut told me
just to leave Big Ben in there, but then a little birdie flew by and had to
give me advice and like a lawyer convinced me to start Hasselbeck. It was a
terrible move, but I will not blame the birdie no matter what, but I am still
going to pelt him with my BB gun. The point is that is my team and I made the
decision and I should have stuck to my gut, and you should too.
In case you forgot, Mark Sanchez is a rookie and he will
play like one.
Congratulations, Raider fans on the nice victory. You are
an actual professional football team, in case some of those had any doubts.
The Top Five PU Teams
1. St. Louis
3. Kansas City
5. Washington Deadskins
Feel free to discuss and disagree or agree and tell me how
awesome or how much of a loser I am …
If you have nothing better to do and are that pathetic you can follow me on