My mother always said that if I don’t have anything nice to say to not say anything at all. Well, I love my mother more than anything else in the world. After all, she did carry me for nine months and put up with me for 18 years after that, so I owe at least that much. I just hope she will not be reading this or anything contained within, because this I will not be saying anything nice about anybody or anything. Yeah, that’s right; I am putting my angry foot down. I am letting the NFL have it at full force of my wrath. That’s right, I am mad as hell and I am not going to take it anymore. So, before we start, I just want to warn you, I am not in a good mood and I will probably peeve you off for not being nice to your team.
That’s right, Mommy, you may have raised me well, but there is just a few things I have to get off my chest so you need to stop reading now. Wait a minute. What is that? My mother doesn’t read this. Did she ever say why? Because she is more intelligent than this and will not read trashy articles. Wow! This article is so bad that my own mother doesn’t read it. But, you do, my loyal readers, which I would estimate totals to about six. So, to my half dozen of readers, I give you the Top 10, the only one in the history of the Internet that goes all the way up to 11.
Not that it matters at this point in the season, since we pretty much know who is good and who isn’t, but I will say it once again. Past seasons and perceived hype means nothing to me in these rankings. The only thing that matters is the performance so far this 2008 season. This has nothing to do with what I think will happen but has happened. In fact, I think
This has to be the most underrated, under talked about, undefeated team this late in the season in the history of the NFL. Come on, folks, they are 10-0. They deserve a little bit of respect as far as I am concerned. Did the Patriots ruin the luster of being perfect in a season by losing the Super Bowl? Well, I think that is the most ridiculous thing I ever heard. I bet if the Giants were 10-0, everybody would be on their jock. On SportsCenter they were the fifth most important story on Sunday. They had the Cowboys at one. Who gives a hoot about a 6-4 team when there is a team going undefeated this late in the season? Something tells me that this is the perfect storm for the Titans and are plenty glad not to get all the attention.
Wow, the Giants just took the Ravens and beat the holy living snot out of them. They imposed their manly will against them by running all over them, smash mouth style. All day, that offensive line and
Ray Lewis and that vaunted Ravens defense in their mouth without warning and completely humiliated the proud Baltimore D. Maybe I am selling this team a bit short, but I don’t think so. They should not be No. 1 until No. 1 loses. All over the media and Internet, all I hear is how the Giants are better then the Titans. Well, I believe you are what your record says you are. Who knows? We may see the Giants beat another undefeated team in the Super Bowl. Now, that would be something to talk about.
I wish this team would start losing so I wouldn’t have to write about them. Heck, even if they would start winning impressively instead of barely skating by teams they should destroy (i.e. Raiders and Lions). I know they ran for like a bazillion yards against the Lions, but is that really saying much?
Steve Smith’s stats are suffering. The defense keeps them in games as the running game does what it can against weaker opponents. Maybe there is hope in my quest to not write about the Panthers next week when they travel to
When I saw the score of last week’s game between
Jeff Reed hit a three-run homer to clinch the win. Of course my whole unfunny analogy would have been useless had the referees did the right thing and awarded the Steelers that touchdown on that crazy last play. A lot of people lost money on that play, and well, I do not feel sorry for them and I do not care. I didn’t bet money on that game and you shouldn’t be gambling. As far as the Steelers go, they just keep winning but they are not looking good doing it. Their line still can’t block the heat from
Perhaps it was the fact that I was too busy to notice. Maybe it was the notion that I just didn’t care. Whatever the reason, I watched them against the Patriots on the almost nationally televised Thursday game on the NFL Network. Remember, friends don’t let friends get cable and not have the greatest channel ever. Now, I know just how good the Jets are. Some might argue that it is because of the addition of
Brett Favre. I would argue that they are winning despite Favre. Their defense is just awesome, even if they didn’t show it on Thursday by giving up 400 yards passing. But, the Patriots could not run the ball in this game. Also, that line is doing an outstanding job opening holes for
Favre. They have just let the almighty Patriots know that they belong.
Kurt Warner can pass for 300 yards per game and he can cut up defenses like Jason can cut up teenagers, then you would think that they don’t need to run no stinkin’ ball. No so fast, as someone on the four letter network once said. To get to the Super Bowl (I can’t believe I just mentioned the Cardinals and the Big Game in the same paragraph), they are going to have to run the ball. Something they could not do against the 49ers and the Seahawks, two of the weaker run defenses. The Giants and the Panthers will not be so forgiving against the pass.
I really don’t know what to write about this team other then I think I like their old logos better. We need a team that wears orange and another one that wears pink. Hey, they have Jeff Garcia playing quarterback, so why not the Bucs if you know what I am saying. Maybe, I went a little too far with that one, but next to the undefeated Titans, this could be one of the most underappreciated teams in the league even as I, Lundy Blankenship, trashed them every week. Their defense isn’t flashy but at least they can tackle and I have seen a lot of teams that must not use tackling dummies in practice. They also have the pink wearing Garcia, and while I am not questioning his lifestyle, he is one gritty quarterback who just makes plays.
Peyton Manning and the Colts. After polishing off the Patriots and the Steelers, they took care of the Texans. It took them until the second half to put them away but nothing is easy in this league and I am sure the Colts would agree. They are poised to make a run right now and will be a dangerous team come playoff time. It looks like Manning is over his little boo-boo and is ready to lead this team deep into the playoffs. Will they make it all the way to the Super Bowl? That is too early to say, but I guarantee the Titans, Steelers and the rest of the AFC want no part of them come playoff time.
If you think the Jets put the Patriots out of our misery, I am afraid you are sadly mistaken. All season long, it looks like this team has taken a turn for the worst but they always come back to let everyone know that they are still here and need to be reckoned with. I told you that
Matt Cassel is getting more and more confident with each passing game and the Jets tried to make the inexperienced quarterback beat them and he nearly did. He will not keep up with the 400 plus passing days, but with a consistent performance down the stretch, he will be increasing the deposits in his checking account. In the meantime, the Patriots will reap the benefits of being patient with the young passer.
Michael Vick feels watching a perfect pass get dropped. I know that was a low blow but I only call it as I see it. Yes, they did drop a few spots but I don’t think the losing will continue as I think they will beat the Panthers convincingly this Sunday …
11. Dallas Cowboys
Well, I guess no matter how much you want it to happen and no matter how much they even try to throw it all away, you can’t keep a team this talented down. That still doesn’t excuse them as they are the 49ers with talent. What I mean by that is this team is still making silly mistakes and keeping on shooting themselves in the foot. They may make the playoffs, but if they continue to play like they are,
Romo, they will not win anyt6hing in the playoffs. Not that it would make me sad because I absolutely loathe everything about the Cowboys.
Other Notes For the Illiterate and the Visually Impaired
Isn’t it funny that the two best teams are called the Giants and Titans? That is almost like a synonym or something. They are built the same way, they play the same way and they both don’t make silly mistakes that would kill themselves, and they both are coached very well. They are like mirror images of one another and are in more than just their nicknames, they are synonymous.
I used to think the Washington Redskins were a pretty good team but after losing yet again, I am not so sure. They should have beat the Cowboys and failed, so for now they are on the outside of the Top 10 (11) looking in.
With the tie between the Eagles and the Bengals and the fact the Patriots didn’t have a chance to get the ball against the Jets, the NFL really needs to look at how the overtime rules are. First off, there needs to be a winner or loser, and we must stop this tie baloney of cliches like kissing your sister. Not only is that disgusting, but should be outlawed. There is nothing more fulfilling then paying 100 bucks for a game and being unfulfilled by watching your team tie. I mean, how are you even supposed to feel after that? Also, the NFL is the only major sport that does not give both offenses the opportunity to score in the extra frame. Come on Roger Goodell, something needs to change about overtime.
Well, that’s all I have this week. This would be an article a mother would be proud of if only the old bitty would actually read it.
Listen, son, you respect your mother! Next time I will smack you harder than the Giants smacked the Ravens. I am taking over your pitiful attempt at writing. Do you realize how much money I lost on the Steelers–Chargers game? Those refs owe your dear old sweet mother 1,000 smackers. And, If Mama isn’t happy, no one is happy …
Since there is no justice, I have nothing more to add to my genetically disabled son’s worthless words of wisdom. So, if you disagree with his list, feel free to make fun of him and bash his self esteem (which is way too high) and poke fun of the 49ers. He really likes that. Have fun and enjoy ruining my son’s self worth
Disagree And Make Fun Here
As always, if you have any hate mail, fan mail, complaints, death threats or if you just want to drop a line telling me how awesome I am; e-mail me at
I might even answer some of your deepest darkest fantasy questions as long as it is about football.