Initially built by NASA to set lines for the Las Vegas casinos in the late 1950s (Who do you think funded the Apollo missions? The government? It was the mob …), The Sin City Betbot 6000 calculated lines for over 30 years. The Betbot was given various upgrades through the years, not always with the best equipment, but he was very good at setting lines, and living the good life.
The Betbot was de-commissioned in 1990 after San Francisco destroyed Denver in the Super Bowl. The 45-point spread simply fried a number of the Betbot’s wires and he retired. The Betbot was discovered by Fantasysharks.com and retooled to give fantasy advice. He lives now to give his own unique, well-cultured take on the NFL. The Sin City Betbot 6000 Presents is transcribed by Tom Walls because “typing … BZZT … is a dame’s job.”
Skipper Jones was a two-bit hack daredevil in the early to mid 1970s. Evel Knievel stole his schtick. I never liked Evel, he was a foul …BZZZT…mouthed pain pill addict who got on my nerves. Skipper Jones was also foul mouthed, he also liked his pain pills (you had to in that line of work), but he had a heart of gold. Evel also stole Skipper’s idea to jump over Snake River Canyon in a rocket. Yeah, you bleeping millenials should Google this “PILL ADDICTED REDNECK SNAKE RIVER CANYON JUMP X-2 ROCKET PREMATURE PARACHUTE” – you’ll see how crazy people were to get attention in the 1970s. You think the bleeping Kardashians are narcissists? They’ve got nothing on Evel Knievel, that dude would fail over and over again, but he always got the bleeping spotlight. Let’s face it, though, ABC’s Wide World of Sports loved pumping him up. I gotta admit, it was better than Acapulco Cliff Divers.
Skipper never met a rule he wouldn’t break. Unfortunately, that led …BZT…to a number of broken bones also.
Skipper was 35 in 1975 when he approached me about opening a restaurant in the Sands. Skipper could cook, I knew that, I agreed to go in as a minority owner. He called the restaurant Daredevil’s… I didn’t like the name, but I was only a minority owner.
Remember how I wrote a couple sentences ago that Skipper didn’t like rules? That’s great as a daredevil. That is not good as a restaurateur. The menu on Opening Night included ‘Port Tartar,’ Skipper said it was for “all those risk takers out there.” Needless to say, we got our pants sued off of us, after 14 people were sent to the hospital in the wee hours of the day after our Grand Opening.
Sometimes, rules are good. Sometimes, playing it safe is the right thing to do.
I bring this up, because I wonder how the Bears and Steelers will handle their respective RB injuries this week. I think …BZT…the Bears take more risks, air it out a bit more. Matt Forte should be back this season, and the Bears can show a completely different hand for this one week. Of course, playing the bleeping Chargers allows teams to chuck the ball around the yard, too.
A game that looked like a bag of loosely assorted mouse turds in the preseason, but which is actually going to be a fun game is the Vikings/Rams game. The teams …BZZZT…aren’t flashy, but this , along with Green Bay/Carolina is one of my top two games of the week. I like Teddy Bridgewater’s moxie for bleeping sure.
So long, and remember – showgirls and gin, my friends – Showgirls and BZZZZT gin.