Thursday - Oct 1, 2020

Home / Commentary / Rookie Notes

Rookie Notes

Hey Rookie!

Fantasy Football Tips for the Uninitiated

Given the popularity of fantasy football in 2010, it may be surprising to some grizzled fantasy football veterans that there are many rookies still creeping out from under the rocks … you’ll overhear them at summer barbeques saying how Donovan McNabb looks good in Washington, D.C. and is a gold pick at number eight.

If you’re that guy, or a close approximation, these tips can get you a leg up on the competition so that you’ll be urinating all over them by playoff time! Fantasy football folks are welcoming to ‘newbies,’ really … your money is green too! So in the spirit of fantasy camaraderie, here are some hints to get you started …

  1. You’ll have plenty of good times if you are able to join a league with friends and people you are comfortable around. That means no spouse or significant other allowed! Keep them away. Surrounded by friends in your fantasy league, it will be easier to talk trash and collect on those side bets come the holiday season.

Note: if you are a smokin’ hot chick, your chances of joining a good league are increased significantly.

  1. Get to know the rules and scoring system of your league early. You don’t want to wait until Week 3 to know what the waiver wire is … and for crying out loud choose a decent team name. The fantasy football universe is overcrowded with douchebag team names.
  2. Draft night is designed to be a good time for all involved. There may even be a certain amount of criminal activity occurring at these events. You’ll hear stories. So with that said, remember that friends don’t let friends draft drunk. Many a poor decision has been made on draft night through thick beer goggles.
  3. There are as many draft strategies out there as there are NFL players with rap sheets. You might want to spend an afternoon online searching and surfing for fantasy football draft strategies, keep a supply of your favorite beverage nearby and settle on some strategies that make sense to you. No matter what the veteran owners in your league tell you, there is no need to draft three quarterbacks by round five.
  4. Know those bye weeks. Program the dates in your cell phone, iPad, wristwatch, whatever you got because there’s nothing worse than having your top three picks having the same bye week and scrambling to find quality subs. Of course, you probably already know that the byes start Week 4.
  5. Bookmark and save your favorite online resources like so you can keep up with injury reports, player news, and fantasy football advice. And spend some time reading them during the week. If you can read the ‘Start ‘em and sit ’em’ columns, thank a teacher!
  6. Once the games start, don’t fall into the trap of playing the “What If” card. Cheese and whine is unbecoming in fantasy football, so have a beer and move on to the next game. The scoreboard doesn’t lie.
  7. Participate on the league message board. Don’t be shy when you’re shocking the world at 5-1 halfway through the season. Let the suckers hear about it! Some vulgar taunting and questioning the intelligence of a rival never hurt anybody.

Stay classy in defeat, of course – the smack will come back. Pay attention to the type and tone of language used on draft night. That’s usually a good indicator of what’s permissible on the league message board.

  1. Most importantly have some fun. There’s nothing like enjoying a football season among friends in good-spirited competition.

About Fantasy Sharks launched in 2003, disseminating fantasy football content on the web for free. It is (or has been) home to some of the most talented and respected writers and content creators in fantasy football.