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Every fantasy football draft on Earth is full of unique combinations of personalities and draft strategies.
Each person brings their own personal style.
Some more successful than others, although a good strategy paired with a bit of luck can help you build a championship team no matter what style you adopt.
For me, the draft is one of the highlights of the entire season.
Probably a major reason why I can’t be content with just a single league!
Since all the “Way too early” Top 100 rankings are going to be shuffled and changed many times over the next couple months, it’s ridiculous to begin staring at them too long at this point in the year.
Since your spouse has already labeled you obsessed since you are reading about fantasy football in June, why not have a little fun analyzing yourself and your friends’ draft technique compared with another group of misunderstood guys who enjoy what they do: The Seven Dwarfs…
How to identify the
Happy drafter:
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Lands the #1 draft pick (and probably has for a couple years)
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Barely snuck into the playoffs last year and then pulled off an upset in the championship
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The guy in your keeper league that starts the year with L.T. and Adrian Peterson on his roster
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Pays $10 towards wings and beer, then eats and drinks $30 worth
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Drafts behind the village idiot in the league and gets all the good bargains
How to identify the
Dopey drafter:
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The “village idiot” that helps the Happy drafter
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Drafts Mike Vick this year
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Takes advice from other drafters who immediately follow his pick
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Attempts to beat the run on kickers/defense by taking his starting in the 4th round
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Pays his entry fee and sends someone else to draft his team (their substitute chooses a team based on their favorite team colors…ouch!)
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Doesn’t have the league entry fee and probably won’t pay it until the season ends
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Usually stumbles through the draft (miraculously ends up with a decent team) and later passes out
in various stages of undress on the living room floor
How to identify the
Grumpy drafter:
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The Dolphin or Falcon season ticket holder in the group
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Lands the last draft pick
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Angry over their loss in last years championship (and won’t shut up about it)
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Has every player he wants drafted before his pick in almost every round
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Under constant barrage of insults because his wife calls every 10 minutes to know when the draft will be over
How to identify the
Sleepy drafter (or “The Sleeper Drafter”):
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Chooses risky players over consistent performers
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Claims to be the Nostradamus of all the sleeper/breakout picks
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Drafts players in rounds 1-3 that no one would have fought them for in rounds 4-6
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Always congratulated on great picks.
Which are then followed with awkward silence and snickering
How to identify the
Doc drafter:
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Uses last years injured reserve list in an attempt to locate bargains in this years draft that will return to elite status (ex. Marvin Harrison)
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After drafting all their starters they immediately draft all their backups because half their roster will be on IR again by week 6
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Truly a professor of fantasy football since he shows up with a library of fantasy magazines and printouts to analyze before every pick
How to identify the
Bashful drafter:
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The biggest talker from last years draft who then didn’t make the playoffs
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The clueless new guy to the league who is a friend of a friend
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The worst smack talker of the group.
Sometimes do to true focus, but mostly do to lack of wit or true intelligence
How to identify the
Sneezy drafter:
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Full of annoying sayings and comments that come out randomly after everyone’s draft picks
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The quick picker.
Rapidly makes their choice and complains when everyone else takes longer than 60 seconds to make their picks
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Goes after the players who blew in & blew out faster and more quiet than a fart in church- hoping that that player can turn 2-3 amazing weeks last season into an every week performance in 2008
Of course,
you identify the most with the more unknown eighth dwarf: The
Perfect drafter.
But you know your buddies styles are in here.
So take a break from Google searching for the latest player projections and bust your buddies on their dwarf draft style!
If anything, it will build the anticipation for your 2008 fantasy draft.
