START/BENCH: Week 3

I give up. I surrender. White flag. Stop the madness.

The first two weeks of the 2017 NFL season have played out like the Adam Sandler mega-bomb “Jack and Jill.” It hasn’t made any sense, it’s not funny even a little and after watching it I felt vaguely nauseous.

Through two games, the top three fantasy quarterbacks are Alex Smith of the Kansas City Chiefs, Carson Wentz of the Philadelphia Eagles and Trevor freaking Siemian of the Denver Broncos, who leads the league with half a dozen touchdowns.

In Week 2, Pittsburgh Steelers running back Le’Veon Bell, Arizona Cardinals tailback David Johnson and Ezekiel Elliott of the Dallas Cowboys combined to gain 95 rushing yards. None of those yards were picked up by Johnson, whose fantasy season is effectively over after surgery on his dislocated wrist.

New York Giants wide receiver Odell Beckham has four catches for 36 yards over two games. Julio Jones of the Atlanta Falcons and A.J. Green of the Cincinnati Bengals have combined for zero touchdowns. Jordy Nelson of the Green Bay Packers is hurt.

So are the tight ends. All of them. That includes Greg Olsen of the Carolina Panthers, who is out two months after breaking his foot.

If you’re sitting at 0-2 amidst all this insanity, don’t freak out. The studs are going to start performing.

Probably.

Maybe.

I hope.

Now that’s you’re good and re-assured, let’s hit another week of start/bench recommendations.

And pray that order is restored to the universe soon.