Thursday - Mar 21, 2019

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Tearing Apart the Birds

Initially built by NASA to set lines for the Las Vegas casinos in the late 1950s (Who do you think funded the Apollo missions? The government? It was the mob …), The Sin City Betbot 6000 calculated lines for more than 30 years. The Betbot was given various upgrades through the years, not always with the best equipment, but he was very good at setting lines, and living the good life.

The Betbot was de-commissioned in 1990 after San Francisco destroyed Denver in the Super Bowl. The 45-point spread simply fried a number of the Betbot’s wires and he retired. The Betbot was discovered by Fantasysharks.com and retooled to give fantasy advice. He lives now to give his own unique, well-cultured take on the NFL. The Sin City Betbot 6000 Presents is transcribed by Tom Walls because “typingBZZT … is a dame’s job.”

I spent the Thanksgiving holiday in a suburb of Philadelphia, with an old girlfriend of mine from my time pursuing my doctorate in Religious Studies at Villanova. My old flame graciously shared her house with her family and I. We ate too much, drank moderately and discussed the day’s news.

We also watched the … BZZZT … games on Thanksgiving. If you’re a fan of either Philadelphia or Dallas, you probably didn’t have much appetite. Since I was near Philadelphia, most of the discussion was around the travails of the Philadelphia Eagles. The day was rescued somewhat by watching Dallas flounder around in the middle game. It will be interesting to see if Dallas drafts a quarterback early next year, or if owner Jerry Jones takes a skill player early to make one last run with Tony Romo.

Back to the Eagles – I am declaring the Chip Kelly experiment as a failure. No surprise there, many others have done this already. What astounds me is how quickly this team is falling apart this year. The incompetence level for the team as a whole seems to be gathering steam week by week … BZZZZZZT … The failure curve that team is following seems to be exponential. Not only has Kelly proved himself to be an incompetent general manager, he’s also shown he’s someone who can’t coach grown men whose scholarships he can’t yank as a way of threat. Owner Jeff Lurie, do all Eagles’ fans a a favor, and fire Kelly.

This week the Eagles will go up against a New England Patriots team which lost for the first time last week. I don’t buy into the whole ‘Angry Tom Brady’ story, but there’s no way the dysfunctional Eagles can beat that team, even with all competent receivers for the Patriots hurt. Expect another beat down of the Eagles, and borderline mutiny in the next couple of weeks from the subpar roster.

It’s always sad to see a legend being replaced. Peyton Manning seems to be handling it well though, treating the guy replacing him with respect. I’m not talking about Brock Osweiler and the Denver Broncos … I’m talking about bleeping J.J. Watt and Papa Friggin’ John. I’m no fan of Papa John (that dude gives me the bleeping creeps!), his pizza or the ads featuring Manning, but Manning is handling the grooming of Watt with grace. Way to go, buddy!

So long, and remember – showgirls and gin, my friends – Showgirls and … BZZZZT … gin.

About Bet Bot

nitially built by NASA to set lines for the Las Vegas casinos in the late 1950s (Who do you think funded the Apollo missions? The government? It was the mob …), The Sin City Betbot 6000 calculated lines for over 30 years. The Betbot was given various upgrades through the years, not always with the best equipment, but he was very good at setting lines, and living the good life. The Betbot was de-commissioned in 1990 after San Francisco destroyed Denver in the Super Bowl. The 45-point spread simply fried a number of the Betbot’s wires and he retired. The Betbot was discovered by Fantasysharks.com and retooled to give fantasy advice. He lives now to give his own unique, well-cultured take on the NFL. The Sin City Betbot 6000 Presents is transcribed by Tom Walls because “typing … BZZT … is a dame’s job.”